3-7-23 This past month I’ve been experiencing distressing heart palpitations. I’ve had them off and on ever since going through early menopause 20 years ago. This time they felt a little less manageable. A friend was going through her own stuff at the same time and we were discussing what I do to help myself. It was a great discussion because, in attempting to explain what I do for myself in such times, it led me to slow down and really be with what I do rather than being on auto-pilot with it all. Sitting with my experience and healing through it demanded all my attention…which was good because there was nothing and no one more important and deserving of my attention. I got very mindful with each step of healing. I approached everything with beginner’s mind, allowing my self-inquiry to reveal deeper answers rather than bring up what I thought I already knew.

A main tool is to consistently ask myself, “What story are you telling yourself?”  Otherwise, I tend to feel like a victim, even though I was creating the story, led by my own unconscious thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. Although this time the palpitations seemed worse, I am proud that I got through it nonetheless, and what helped me the most was examining what story I was telling myself through it all.

You see, even though I knew I would get through it, on some level I was still telling myself I might not. Although I was telling myself I was safe, I still felt unsafe – so I had to get specific with and every thought of un-safety. Rather than just tell myself I was strong and push through it, I facilitated deeper healing by honestly acknowledging what I was feeling, what I was making it mean and then addressing all of that with compassion and gentleness. I was able to use Ho’opono pono (a Hawaiian community forgiveness practice I’ve been using a lot) between me and my body without the blame/shame game and making myself wrong.

I thank goodness for all my tools, especially my HeartMath practices that help me access my heart and it’s wisdom and inspiration. I don’t know how the rest of the world gets through any of their problems without them. That’s why I love sharing and teaching those tools - because they’ve helped me so much.

I’ve been through so much these past 3 years: a major “job” change, losing a lot of friends, caring for and saying good-bye to my mother-in-law as well as my 4-legged best friend, oh and let us not forget Stew’s hip surgery, which was probably more of a difficult process for us in many ways than folks might realize.

Yet, throughout all that, the big-picture story I kept repeating to myself is how precious life is, how specifically blessed I am, how there is always wonder and awe waiting around each corner, and that the most important thing I could do was nurture love within me, no matter what, and then keep sharing that love with the world. That’s a story worth repeating. Today is a good day...and I make it so!