7-12-21 Oh my it feels so hard to be a human lately. That being said, I know I’ve gone through many cycles in my life that have been difficult to get through. I’ve gotten through them and that does help me to know I’ll get through this one, too. Still, this is now and now is hard.

Time to look in my tool bag and see what will help me. One of my tools is self-inquiry to see what I’m actually thinking which directly influences how I feel which then colors how I’m continuing to perceive things. I believe that the body believes every word we say, so as my friend and ally, my body will do all it can to carry out my words and thoughts. That helps me to be a little less unconscious and not let myself get away with habitual thinking and careless speaking. I examine my thoughts and words and in so doing make more wise and empowering choices. For instance, years ago I might have said I would TRY to make better choices. “Try” means to me that I’m setting myself up for failure rather than implanting the thought in my consciousness that I am capable and CAN and WILL be able to do what I say. (And incidentally, just because I say I can and will doesn’t mean that I punish myself when I can’t and don’t).

OK, back to my original point. I am pretty proud of myself for all the work that I’ve done which triggered the alarm bell going off in my head when I said, “It’s too hard to be alive right now”. That could too easily translate into “I don’t want to be here, alive in this body anymore” and putting it it like that very quickly allowed me to realize that is NOT what I want. We hear it all the time, don’t we - In any given moment, something unexpected happens and poof, a person is out of their earth suit and pure spirit again.

Just now we had a 6.0 earthquake centered about 30 miles away. Here, in our house, everything went wombly (don’t think that’s a word but that’s how it felt) and Stew & I felt nauseous for quite a while afterwards. Wow, that brought home instantly what I just said about the unexpected happening. If I were to take cognizance of that in more of my moments I expect I would have a different perspective in more of my moments and therefore, have a helluva lot more wonderful moments. Wonderful as defined as being more present with absolutely no past or future thoughts that either has me bringing forward bad memories that happened in the past and expecting the same to continue or imagining a future that could go wrong and worrying about it. In staying present, I give myself the best hope of realizing what’s good and working right now and I give myself the best chance of then capitalizing on that.

 I am alive and that is IT, that is everything! The life within me is capable of greatness, seeing beauty, holding hope, expressing love, being a beacon of light.  Survival has always been an iffy thing since the beginning of time, we just choose to ignore that fact. But when I am in this slowed…down… absolutely… only here…now… present moment… in this microcosm of time that we can’t even measure………. I AM OK, in fact – I am more than OK. I reside with Love, indeed I am Love, I am one with the miracles of Life, I am more than enough with everything I need within me ready to help me live my best life!! And this moment of time also includes all the joy/good time memories/happiness/connection with all Life, and therefore all its gifts, that have ever existed for me. Wahooooo.  Now that’s a sweet deal, all right there for me in the power of my choice of thoughts and words. I am again ready to be my GODDESS OF WISDOM AND BEAUTY.