5-22-21 In case you didn’t notice, Stew and I joined forces with the amazing Jenna, marketing guru. It has brought up some uncomfortableness about “putting myself out there.” Funny what thoughts still lie dormant in my head. But really, we all put ourselves out there every day. We interact with friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and someone in the grocery or post office line. If we were to ask each of those people to describe us, we’d probably get a lot of very different answers. For some of us, it seems we’re nicer to strangers than we are to those who know us best and for others of us, it’s often just the opposite.

I know for myself I’ve worked very hard to be constant…I want to be authentic no matter where I am and who I’m with; I want to live by the same set of principles no matter what’s going on. Which means that sometimes I’m equally not nice to everybody. That was a joke…mostly. At least, I am more aware these days that I choose to be connected and loving to everyone. To achieve that I first have to work consistently on my self – I have to create a strong connection to my heart and love myself enough to feel safe enough to present myself just as I am. It’s so good to know that feeling safe is an inside job because it can often feel pretty darn unsafe out in the world. When I discovered I create my safety, not only did it help me to be me and accept myself that way, it also helped me make different choices towards creating safety for myself out in the world, meaning creating boundaries with certain people and in certain situations.

So, back to the marketing. I believe, and teach others, that we are all more than enough, each of us are worth celebrating just as we show up, and every single one of us has gifts to share that can help others. And don’t you notice that sometimes what we tell others is often a good heaping of what we have to remind ourselves? So, I’m telling myself now that, yes it’s definitely OK that Jenna’s on my team, out there telling you and others that I am very good at what I do and have great gifts to share and inspire. Yes, it feels uncomfortable and that just means there’s a piece of me that still wants to hide because it thinks I’m not enough and it’s not safe to share myself with the world.

I’m going to take this opportunity and go sit right down with that piece of me right now and tell “her” I love her. I’m going to wrap her up in a big, soft blanket of compassion and encouragement that will keep her safe. Is there any part of you that doesn’t feel safe when s/he is “out in the world” and wants to stay hidden? Now would be a great time to tell that piece of you that you love them and will keep them safe. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

5-11-21 I am missing my daughter. I am used to me & Ari talking at least once a day, sometimes just for a few minutes here and there throughout the day, sometimes for as long as an hour. We have helped each other to stay resilient and to hold ourselves together through all our losses and sorrows this past year.  Right now, she is being a warrior Goddess and conquering her fear of doing a solo camping trip in Sequoia National Park. It takes a lot to stare down our fears and do something we want to do despite them. I am sure that you, too, are a warrior. Please don’t judge yourself if the fear is still there. I implore you, rather, to focus on the fact that you continued to show up when it’s just so darn hard and scary, sometimes. I invite you to take a moment now and celebrate those warrior triumphs that you might have too easily dismissed.

 There are so many lies that we tell ourselves. And because we keep repeating them we often forget they are just stories we made up for 1 reason or another, and then began to believe them. Lies like: we’re not capable, or strong enough, or smart enough, or we’re just not enough period! When I did my 2 vision quests there were no distractions to pull my mind away from those lies, and it was either face them or be swallowed up by them. Every time we face our fears, every time we bring to light all those thoughts that keep us small and powerless we are being our warrior self. Yahoo us!!!!

 So I dedicate the rest of today’s words to celebrating Ari. She wrote the following to remind herself of the beautiful truth of her being when she resides in her heart. I hope it inspires you to look at your own life and celebrate what you do right – again, there’s so many times we overlook and dismiss all our unique wonderful-ness.

 Time feels continually more, as if I’m losing touch with reality.

The focus of my day to day life has gotten so much smaller.

A feeling of a bubble shrinking around me.

Enclosing and being vast in a new way.

I’ve found a strong pull to making that bubble more beautiful.

I started a garden.

I’ve discovered how delicious the nasturtiums in the yard taste, and how many are hidden throughout the space.

I make beautiful food.

I play dress up just because.

I make art

But I haven’t successfully wished a single person happy birthday on the actual day of their birth since this started.

But I know that a finch sings his heart out, everyday, in the same tree in the yard.

And I know where the moon appears and the trajectory it takes

Thanks Ari, I love you! Today is a good day...and I make it so!