11-10-21 A few months ago I would have told you I was a woman fully engaged in my heart. I would have been wrong. Lately, in the process of studying for my HeartMath certification my face has been pressed hard against the gap between “fully engaged” and mostly engaged. And I’ve learned that even that “little” amount of time of not being fully engaged in my heart is hugely depleting for my energy, health and well-being.

Thank goodness I keep doing the work (I am celebrating myself right now for doing that) because otherwise I’d be that “other” person, you know, my “evil twin sister” much more than I currently am. Oh my goodness, I can only imagine the life I might have had if I’d let myself continue along that parched and dusty road, but happily I’m living my dream life with only momentary lapses. And yet the thing is, even though I’m only twin sis momentarily here and there throughout the day and there are so many days when I’m not that way at all, when I AM that way it feels like I’m always that way, and I think I always will be like that, forever. So what is really a little speck, when it’s right in front of my face, blocks anything and everything else out…and it seems so true BUT IT’S NOT. I keep doing the self-work of dwelling in my heart so I can remember what my truth is even when I’m in schmutz.

About 4 days before coming home from my 3-week evacuation from the fire I started having sleeping issues. That was 2 months ago. I guess the tally of the past 1 ½ years on my adrenals caught up with me. As you can imagine, it is extremely hard to hold it together on any level without sleep. Yet my HeartMath classes and homework have helped me to do just that. My days (and nights) were occupied with doing different exercises and I honestly don’t think I would have made it through otherwise. I’ve been so busy actively choosing renewing feelings (like compassion, gratitude, and peace) I haven’t spiraled downward from (unconsciously) allowing myself to be in depleting feelings (like worry, anxiety, and overwhelm). And happily, when I’ve realized I was indulging in feelings and attitudes that didn’t serve me, I’ve used my tools to immediately shift and reset them.

It’s vitally important for me to keep doing the work so I can acknowledge in every moment whether what I am choosing to experience is adding to my life or diminishing it. If it’s the latter, I can choose to not let myself get away with that anymore, even when it seems like such a tiny moment of thought. I then gently discern what my role was in creating that and how I am going to change it now so it becomes easier to make that same choice in the future. Sometimes acknowledging I’ve made a mistake (of feeling, thought, attitude, or the perception) can seem disheartening, especially if I take it to mean I haven’t learned anything and I’m wrong, hopeless and undeserving. But when I do my work, fully engaged with my heart, I realize how much I’ve grown through learning and unlearning. Instead of being disheartened, I am empowered and healed by connecting with all the wonderful life-affirming energies within me.

I’ve always loved HeartMath work but diving into it and immersing myself totally in it again for the past 2 months has been so rewarding personally. I would love to mentor you, share HeartMath’s amazing benefits with you and together, let’s see what happens in your life. It’s all really so simple and fun. Get in touch and we’ll begin. Today is a good day...and I make it so!