8-25-21 California is on fire and I just voluntarily evacuated my home. I don’t think the fire will reach us, but the air quality has been over 600 from the smoke. Unfortunately, Stew has just left for Florida on business so I came to my daughter’s place on the coast and oh my goodness there’s so much to be grateful for…you know, all those things most of us normally take for granted – like being able to go outside and see blue skies and clouds (and an ocean!), and breathe clean air, and look around at nature not covered all in ash.

It’s the first time I’ve travelled at all since Covid stuff started and my first sight of the ocean had me bawling. I’ve been rather not myself this past week, viewing the “apocalypse” of eerie red and gray smoke all over where I live and more recently, having to pack up “essentials” and saying good-bye (who knows, it could be a final good-bye) to my home and sanctuary of 33 years. I’ve been feeling anxious, afraid, and morose, to name just a few feelings, and not functioning very well (I guess that kind of feelings and actions go together).

So, today, at the ocean, I got down to business, self-care business, and did a morning of meditating and residing in my heart, where only Love lives, and consciously facing and moving out all my stuck and fearful energy. This is where my safety lies, and the only place where my safety lies. Ah, to be back home!

Oh, my dear friends, I know the world is a scary place sometimes, but it really has always been just as scary as it is now. I don’t have to mention the myriad ways lives end suddenly, heartbreakingly, and without warning. We just normally don’t look at and think about all the ways life can be so scary because it’s….well, scary.. So, now in this time of the Covid virus the fear people are experiencing seems to be so great and overwhelming, maybe because we have never faced it in the past.

And we were told that the answer to the Covid crisis, as we are still being told, is to isolate ourselves from each other. And yet I believe being together, connecting face to face, heart to heart is the one of the main things that makes life so precious, gives it meaning, and increases our health and resilience. I’ve talked here before about my intense year spent studying death, from a Buddhist point of view. I’m generalizing, but basically, it’s about really getting down and dirty with death as your best friend and ally, facing all the fears around it, because that really is the only way to truly be free and live life fully. That year “with death” really connected me into my heart and helped me build up resilience and safety. It still continues to help me to get in touch with safety in the only place it truly resides, within me.

It's never too late to start a practice of facing our fears, one thought at a time. Sometimes, though, we all need a little help from our friends when we find it tough to get there by ourselves and I would never have made it through these last few days without the strong arms of my daughter around me, offering her love, comfort and support. Sometimes, when we can’t get can’t to the safety within us, it helps to have the physical touch of someone holding us tight. Indeed, the connection of touch is vital (just ask babies).

So, as always, what do I have control over? I intend to stay with Love, keep focusing my thoughts on Love and I don’t intend to waste any more of my precious moments being afraid for whatever reason and having a closed-off heart to myself, to others, and to Life! Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Update:  it’s now 8-30-21 and it seems very likely the fire will reach the basin. It’s definitely a hard day and a sorrowful one. Yet today is still a good day...and it’s up to me to make it so! I’ll go ask for the ocean’s help once again.