3/21/20

The lyrics to an old Jefferson Airplane song go, “It takes time to love and open minds to love and who's got time on their hands?” Well, apparently, we all do. In talking to a school nurse the other day, I applauded her for enjoying and making the most of her forced time. She shared that some other co-workers were having difficulty doing that since they felt guilty to be enjoying it. If you are finding yourself in that same situation, it might help to ask yourself 2 questions: Will my being miserable/feeling guilty help the situation? And Is it true that there is nothing I can do? For me, both answers are a resounding NO! When we spend time loving ourselves, whether doing things we love or learning new things we might love to do, spending more time with family, pursuing creativity or immersing in quiet reflective time/self-inquiry work (and hopefully a good balance of all that), we help to bring positive energy into the world.

A few days ago, Stew & I did a spring equinox ceremony throughout the day. We lit a candle, made a globe, centered ourselves in Love, and sent out Love blessing all the countries, waters, and living creatures. We balanced it with some fun, looking at flower pictures (even as we’re surrounded by snow), and listened to Jefferson Airplane (of course) and danced. The candle is still lit, sitting next to our globe, reminding me to send out love to the world each time I pass it. Together, with every loving thought, we are helping each other get through this, regardless of any differences of opinion regarding it all. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

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If this is your first visit, welcome! These are my musings of what it’s like to be me on this human journey. I hope it inspires and uplifts you to know that you are not alone in your crazy thoughts, and that despite them, you can - and do - make a difference in the world!!!! I also hope to remind you, often, that you are special, that the pain you feel in your heart from real and imagined wounds is a precious gift - to you and the world - and that because of them you have unique gifts to share with the world.

Thoughts are swirling in my head leading to feelings of anger, worry, despair, fear (I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the picture since you have your own thoughts.) These kinds of thought are getting me nowhere and I am in charge of the peace in my life so right now I choose to stop!

“Take a breath...be still with this moment of Life that knows nothing about the state of the world and everything about Love. Ah, that’s better. I place myself right in the middle of this great Love...I let it soothe my worried mind, ease my sorrowful heart. I focus only on breathing in Love...letting it fill me...surround me...I breathe out Love. Love washes over me like a refreshing, cleansing waterfall...I am strengthened and renewed, ready to move through my day again in the consciousness of Be-ing, empowered by Love – I am a warrior for peace!”

I invite you to re-read this paragraph as often as you need to throughout your day. Breathe in and out of Love as long as it takes until you can maintain that place of peace as you do what is yours to do today. I, myself, might have to stay consciously breathing for a while and that’s OK with me. Love is the only place I want to reside. I might go sledding, too; I think that will also do it for me. Today is the best day ever – well, maybe not, but I’m going to do my darndest to make it so.

We got our big snow storm here in Tahoe and we are naturally quarantined by the weather...just the way we love it! Perhaps, like me, you’re not lovin’ the way everything is shutting down and fear and panic are rampant. We are at a choice-point ( of course we always are, we’re just not usually aware of it). We can go with the flow or struggle against it. If you’re not sure which are you choosing, I’ll give you a hint, one feels better than the other.  For our ancestors in colder climates, winter was a time of quiet, of staying in the “cave”, of introspection. I invite you to cherish this time apart: take a break from the news and focus on positive pursuits. Dance out your anger, your frustration. Do something silly. Make a mess from painting, cooking, whatever you can think of. Breathe, go within and connect with the fire in your belly. Face your demons, welcome the beloved. Do absolutely nothing, without guilt and without rushing in to fill the void. Embrace the stillness and revel in it as you find that all your critical voices, after shouting from the rooftops, finally go silent. Follow it up perhaps with some personal development work around forgiveness, especially for yourself. Stare out the window and dream. And finally, write 100 pages of what you’re grateful for (or at least fill up 1 page). Our lives are so precious, we are each so magnificent, let’s celebrate everyday wholeness and not waste a moment in fear, boredom or criticism. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Nobody wants to die, and apparently everyone is freaking out that that is going to happen to them, immanently. Over the years I have faced just that possibility quite a few times, some were definitely real, some more in my head. It was the one in my head that taught me the most about facing death. I was in the midst of menopause and out of the blue I got a panic attack (never had one before) and I thought that was it. My best friend, Stew, reminded me that if indeed I was going, was “freaked out” the way I wanted to go? Great question. I immediately started meditating on Love and everything changed for me! That advise helped a lot when a kidney infection landed me in the hospital and numerous other times physical dis-ease became scary.

What does your world look like now? Not a stupid question...I know the world “out there” looks insane right now, but I’m talking about the world that you, and only you, create – your consciousness of being and how you are responding to that insanity. Now more than ever, it is up to each one of us, my friends, to hold and maintain a cloak of peace around us. Whatever you are experiencing, “deep within you is everything that is perfect, ready to radiate through you and out into the world (A Course in Miracles).” I remind you what Sigafoose, one of my greatest mentors, often said, “No retreat, no surrender, take no prisoners”. Be a strict guardian of what you allow into your thoughts. Examine whether you think the universe is a safe place (it sure has supported us for a long time). Choose love instead of fear (there was a time I literally repeated that to myself over and over until I got it). Every time you read or hear something that is scary, stop, breathe into love (visualize it in your imagination, feel it in your body, make love real) and remind yourself you are more in charge of your well-being than people are giving you credit for. Positive thoughts do influence our immune systems positively, as well as a healthy life-style, of course. What better time than now to start one positive habit for yourself? I invite you to join me in the hundredth monkey effect...we can, we do, we will make a difference! Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Just got back from a magnificent walk in my greater backyard. I’m sad about the (mostly non) winter we had here in Tahoe and I’m working on being present with what is. So, I’ll just share a beautiful photo from a past summer that reminds me all the seasons here are fantastic and what I have to look forward to. And I’ll hold the affirmation in my mind and heart that Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote be true for all beings...“May our heart’s garden of awakening bloom with hundreds of flowers.” Yahoo, I did just hear that we could have a big storm here this weekend, and since I do believe in miracles, I haven’t packed away my snow suit. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Stew and I do a couples exercise every week, and one of our popular ones is to share with each other, “What’s right about me.” I don’t believe it’s selfish or egotistical to do that but a necessary celebration of Self. Most of us entertain more negative self-talk and it’s important to re-groove our brain with new positive habitual thinking. Also, I’ve found it feels scrumptious when I remind myself how wonderful I am and to have Stew witness my proud declarations. Yes, I know very well how I often don’t measure up, and that can be important if I use the knowledge gently to see how I want to transform that. But I want to know my strengths just as intimately. I want to focus on what’s good within me so I can bring all those possibilities forward. I want to be the kind of person that is unashamed to shine my light and share my successes, so I can inspire others to do that as well. And a big part of that for me is overcoming perceived failures and admitting to my mistakes (to myself and/or to others), both ones I’ve actually made out in the world and the ones that are the secrets I hide in my head. I consider those successes as well. Then I am living from everyday wholeness...now that’s a celebration and I’m proud to share it with you. I invite you to share something you’re proud of, with me, here, or to someone else. It’s life-affirming, it’s free and it feels good, too. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

There’s an important part to add to yesterday’s musing. I can’t emphasize enough what a big transformer it is to have compassion for myself when I fall short of the mark, which is really all about me being human and forgiving myself for that. But the second aspect of that self-compassion is to be willing...to be willing to keep aspiring to my intentions...to get up when I fall down... to see myself as that big Self despite it seeming how I’m a failure right now. Willingness opens a crack in the walls of my heart. And where there’s a crack the Light and Love can come flowing in and make all the difference. Willingness says I believe in myself...that I believe I can show up better, kinder, gentler, more than I just did. Willingness also says I accept myself right where I am, just as I am, even as I just showed up. Willingness allows for and helps me to honor all the steps on my life journey, whether I label them “good” or “bad.” Compassion and willingness are the impetus for all the different pieces of Hillary to join hands and create a circle of everyday wholeness. Within that circle there is only Love, and I am that Love, and miracles can - and do - happen. Today is a good day...and I make it so!!

“Waking up this morning I smile...24 brand new hours are before me...I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with the eyes of compassion,” Thich Nhat Hanh. Many are the days I have meditated on these words, and so often I have fallen short in it, especially “look at all beings with the eyes of compassion.” So, what do I do when that happens? I have eyes of compassion for myself, that I once again couldn’t do what I intended (although I make it sound so simple here, that was a long, learned process where I often railed against myself, blaming and shaming, for failing once again). And I wake up the next morning, taking to heart that I have 24 brand new hours before me, and I re-commit to my intention to be that compassionate person all over again. And now, here I am in this present moment, so much closer to my goal. Never give up...not on your dreams...not on your intentions...and especially, not on yourself. Today is a good day...and I make it so!!

What do you do when your “resilience level is down around your socks”? (Thanks, Stew, I borrowed that phrase from your last podcast). Well, what we did is a ceremony. I’m big on ceremony, because even though I believe that every moment is sacred, it doesn’t always feel that way (at least in my mind) and ceremony adds sparkle, magic and extra intentionality, as it helps me cross the “dividing line” between mundane and divine (i.e. head and heart). And wahoo, sure enough I’m feeling downright upright this morning. I’m also a big believer in creating intentions for my life, which I meditate into every morning. Yet, often I let the schmootz of life intervene and disconnect me from my heartSelf, and ceremony helps to open my heart so I can release what no longer serves me, melt the walls of disconnection and create bridges to possibilities. Ceremonies are great because they help to slow me down into mindfulness, too. Ceremonies can be simple, done by yourself, or with others. Stating your intentions aloud is a good idea, or they can be written. They can be as simple as going for an intentional walk and having the trees witness as you step into your bigness, or they can involve candles, music, and/or gathering objects that are meaningful to you. Finally, ceremonies are a great way to acknowledge closure and new beginnings. If you want any help in creating a ceremony for yourself, let me know. I have been called “the queen of ceremony.” Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Good news...everyone using the Gregorian calendar has an extra day in their life tomorrow. Time is a pretty weird thing to wrap our brains around sometimes, isn’t it? One day of hardship can seem like an eternity and the same 24 hours of happiness can seem like a blink. So, how would you live the day if you really thought of it as an extra special helping of 24 hours of life? Oooooohhh, how about if we extended that to realizing that each moment is a gift...because it really is. When someone we love transcends this life, there is often so much sorrow and yet at the same time we also experience the gift they leave behind for us. They help us to realize how precious our lives are, and to think about whether we are using that gift as wisely as we can. As time goes on, and the daily experience of helping Trudy, Stew’s mom, cope with what’s happened to her continues, we are often feeling fried, impatient, exhausted and our bodies are complaining about the long sitting hours. We are helping each other to remember that, despite how everything feels, there is still life beating its heart within us, that we are in this together, and that, even if what we are experiencing is sometimes heartbreak, when we are willing to be with what is, everyday wholeness is a further precious gift that presents us with its tenderness, strength and joy. So, how am I going to use that extra day tomorrow? I am going to celebrate it with gusto, in celebration. Today is the best day ever...I make it so!

I treat myself with love and respect in all ways. Sometimes that means facing my doubts, my fears, the walls of my heart and saying yes to my dreams and what is showing up in the moment. Sometimes that means honoring my feelings, my needs, my boundaries and saying no to others. I reframe the no as a yes to myself. I am worthy of love. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Right now, I’m feeling angry and I need a little inspiring so here goes: NVC (Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication) teaches that when we are experiencing feelings that we label as negative, it’s because our needs aren’t being met.  And specifically, when we’re feeling anger it’s because we’re not in touch with our needs at all. So, rather than projecting out I sit down with myself and see what’s going on inside of me. I honor myself...right where I am...just how I’m feeling – without making myself wrong yet taking responsibility for my feelings -  and see what’s missing for me.  Ah, I feel better and more peaceful, though I’m still feeling sad and frustrated (instead of anger), because I’m more connected to my heart and my needs, and therefore my everyday wholeness.

I will exercise my arms as I learn to open them and accept life’s gifts, even in the face of adversity. I will exercise my heart as I dissolve the walls I unconsciously put up in any given moment and allow myself to bloom into the Love I am.

Kahil Gibran said, “And forget not that the earth delights to feel your feet and the winds long to play with your hair”. So often, I hear people say that they don’t have time to ... (fill in the blank with any sort of positive self-care action). If we walked every step, no matter how busy we were, with Gibran’s words in our heart, our daily path would be filled with joy. Our inner child would never be forgotten and would walk as our companion all the days of our life, no matter how old we are. When Stew and I lead Maitri Breathwork, the visualization I do at the end includes letting yourself play with your inner child and feel free. That often brings tears to so many because it’s been so long, and they don’t remember that feeling or companion anymore. So right now, I invite you to go outside (for just a moment) and do a little playful (dare I say wild free inner child) dance and kiss the air “hello”. Celebrate another day to be just who you are...just as you come...more than enough, before anyone told you any different...creative, curious, capable unique you. Celebrate another day that you have the gift to be here making the choice to laugh, love, grow, glow and live your life from everyday wholeness, fully present, fully alive. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

“When we recognize that nothing has to go right for us to be happy, that people do not have to behave for us to love them, our walk home can be surprisingly simple. We have enormous power not to manipulate the world, but to be happy and to know peace”, Hugh Prather. Whew, there’s some great advice to live by for this day. Today is a great day...and I make it so!!

Today is a day of rest and renewal for me. I invite you, too, to take time in the busyness of your life for self-care. Perhaps it seems absolutely impossible for you to take time off for yourself when your day seems so full of doing for others, taking care of urgent business, running errands, or just taking care of the business of life. Or maybe your life is wonderful right now and you’re exhausted from all the fun things that keep you running one to the other. Stop the treadmill! If you can’t imagine taking that whole day off for rest, reflection and renewal (and believe me, that might feel strange at first, then luscious), then go for a shorter period. Schedule in ½ hour a day for yourself, or 5 minutes an hour. Visualizing yourself floating on a serene lake (or whatever would have you feeling peaceful and happy) is (almost) as good as actually doing it...seriously, what you imagine and feel in the moment is absolutely real to you, and your body. Right now, before you get up from reading this, or going right on to the next post, take that 5-minute self-care break. And then write the intention for more self-care “vacations” in your calendar/day planner. You’re worth it!! Today is a good day...and I make it so!!

A prayer of Love for all of us: I get quiet, still my thoughts, go within and meet the Sweet presence of Love, the Precious flow of Life, the Energy of all that is, the Beloved (I invite you to insert your own term here). Love breathes me, animates me, re-creates me. I give thanks that my entire being is an outflowing of this Divine Life. I in turn embrace the wholeness of Me – every piece is worthy & loved. There is nothing to let go of or deny – I simply affirm that all of me, & everything that got me to this moment, is holy divine Self. I give thanks that my thots align with Divine Mind... with wholeness. I praise each breath as a gift. I celebrate every cell in my body as radiant, vibrant wholesome life. I follow the gentle path of choices made in the stillness & peace of each sacred moment and bless the less-than-gentle paths of choices that show me the difference. My life Is my prayer – lived in the fullness of knowing my Truth and with the flow and glory of all creation. My soul’s purpose is to grow into this Great Love. And so I say thank you thank you thank you... breathing in gratitude...thinking gratitude...feeling gratitude for this life, my life, each day, each moment. All my thoughts, feelings, words & actions are aligned with this highest vision of myself. I walk in the Way of Love. I Am Love. I am the Peace of this moment. I am Peace. I am radiant Life. I am Life. I am the Joy of all joyous things. I am Joy.

Today I speak words of kindness, compassion and encouragement to everyone I encounter in my day, even when it feels difficult. When I find I am unable to do that, then I am willing to speak words of kindness, compassion and encouragement to myself. Today is a good day...and I make it so.

2/10/20

Joseph Campbell told us, “Follow your bliss.” Marshall Rosenberg changed his whole life around, and mine, when he added, “Don’t do anything that isn’t play.” Often, the biggest obstacles to that are when we “have to” and “should” ourselves. We say we HAVE to go to work, that we HAVE to pay our bills, etc. (especially when our job isn’t aligned with our principles or passion, but that’s a discussion for another day). We say we SHOULD get together with our family (that we’re not crazy about). This kind of thinking leaves us feeling stuck and believing we are victims of our own lives. And that’s sad because we are powerful beyond measure and Joy is our true nature. We have control over how we choose to think about something and how we choose to approach it. That changes everything. For me, my biggest block to that was the habitual patterns of interaction between me and my parents. When, instead, I attempted to connect with my parents on a deep heart level and heal, even though it mostly didn’t succeed time after time, I turned around the SHOULD (mixed with guilt and despair) into following my bliss. And then I brought forward possibilities and self-empowerment and lived in my play. It became a good experience (again, even if all my intentions didn’t happen) because I took control in my consciousness. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

2/5/20

We all have health scares from time to time. Sometimes real, sometimes imagined. While the outcome of the imagined is often a lot better than the real, while we are in those thoughts it feels just as real and scary. These past few days I went through one of those imaginary ones, and it can be like a runaway train – if we let it. Imagination is a tool that can be our enemy or our ally. So that’s the thing - it’s our thoughts that create the runaway train and we are in charge of our thoughts, and that’s good news! Knowing that there is always an everyday wholeness for me to access, I stopped dancing around the thoughts and faced them. Sometimes we’re afraid to bring them to the light because we think that will make the problem more real. Well, if we’re vaguely thinking of something but “not really,” it’s still pulling us by the nose and running us. We are powerful beyond measure and so I called forth courage as I faced the worst possibilities. I cried some, and then used it to focus on uplifting affirmations to remind myself what was true for me and good in this moment. I opened my heart in gratitude and to what I wanted to continue to focus on in the next moment...and the next. That helped tremendously. We are so much more powerful than we often believe we are. Don’t give up reaching for those positive thoughts! You’re worth it!!