12-6-21 Cleaning up my desk the other day, I rediscovered some intentions I wrote for myself. I do that periodically to get through difficult times, to jumpstart something new or to align with the planets. In other words, I do it often. Regardless of the action steps that were specific to each intention, they were all about being joy in more of my moments.

There are so many things that can pull me away from my joy – but only if I let them. There might be good reasons (I tell myself) for being upset, worried, hurt, angry, distressed, or impatient but it all comes down to the same thing - I am wasting many good moments of my life when I indulge in feelings that don’t serve me. Wait, let me clarify that. All my feelings serve me. It’s just that I experience some of them only when I am present in the moment and dwelling in my heart. These are the ones that energize and inspire me, such as appreciation, caring, peace, and compassion. Other feelings only come when my head is flying solo, with the kind of thoughts that define my present moment based on past and future scenarios. These thoughts are accompanied by feelings that deplete me (see my list above of upset, etc.). When I am feeling those, and especially if I hang out with them too long, all they serve to do is rob me of vital energy with which to do something about them. When I notice and acknowledge hurt, anger, etc. then I am using them productively by acknowledging what is missing for me in that moment, re-connecting with my heart, which allows me the best chance of getting what I need. Residing in my heart, I gain instant access to my heart’s wisdom and there I find my joy again because that’s where it lives.

Living in joy doesn’t mean I don’t experience hardship or don’t still feel sad ever, but when I do it’s going to be from a more honoring, everyday wholeness way.

I meditate each morning and lately I’ve been using technology to check how coherent I’ve been during my meditation. Coherence is a measure of how much I’m residing in my heart with energizing feelings and breathing. The more I’m in my heart the more I’m reminded of my inner gifts, that I’m more than enough and capable, and much more able to indulge in self-love and appreciation and be my best self. I want more of that! That’s it, no more excuses…though there are obviously going to continue to be situations in my life and the world that can take me away from my heart. I invite you to join me and continue to do whatever it takes to keep yourself heart-centered.

A great start is to take a pause here before reading on and give yourself a big hug right now as you tell yourself 1 thing you appreciate about yourself. Excuse me while I do that right now too.

Here’s a few of the old intentions I dug up out of my desk I’d love to share with you:

I vow to live my life as my heart’s prayer, which is to Be Love. I intend to trust in the moment because it contains all the Love I need. When my thoughts go to “I’m not doing enough” I spend that moment coming back to my heart, Being Love and remembering that is my most important mission.

And: Every morning I ask my heart to stay open, wholeheartedly willing to freely give and receive Love…to embrace life all day, in appreciation, with my arms (and eyes) open wide.

And last: I love myself enough to take care of myself. Lightness of Being and Joy are my companions of choice from which I create my perfect day.

With each of those intentions, I wrote down a plan of action of how I would specifically bring it to life. You can use the three above if they resonate and flesh them out for yourself, or you can use them as stepping stones to create your own heartful intentions. Let’s not waste another moment. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

11-30-21 I just had 2 clients who shared specific hardships going on in their life. Both I would describe as strong capable people, yet, it was evident that when describing their circumstances they felt overwhelmed and powerless. I shared HeartMath tools with them. Both were blown away to see how easily they could change their perceptions around that life situation by becoming more aware of their feelings in any given moment and, therefore, live their life more peacefully and at ease. I, too, often tend to forget all my strengths and tools when in stressful situations. Indeed, it’s amazing how quickly I am willing to forget that I always have a choice…I can stay in my heart, accessing all its limitless wisdom, following the guidance of its eternal love, or I can look outside myself at what seems to be insurmountable and feel small and powerless against it. Hmmm, when I look at it that way it seems like a no-brainer, but since I have followed the latter path so often from childhood on, it is the path that I habitually fall back onto. There’s a reason it’s been called the path of least resistance. I’d also call it the path of walking through my life as a sleepwalker.

So, many years ago I decided to wake up. And that turned out to be not just a one-time decision; it involves constant waking up. The formula is simple: I forget (I go back to sleep)…I remember (I wake up). I forget that:  within me lies all the help I need, within me is greatness, I am a being of great worth and value and don’t have to feel small. And then I remember that: I am more than my childhood experience and conditioning, I am more than what other people tell me, I deserve to thrive in life and feel ease, and peace and yes, even joy. I forget…I remember. Over and over and over.  It may take me a lifetime to build a new groove, and that’s OK, I have a lifetime.

And part of that evolution seems to be that once I know I have a choice between the two and I find that once again I fell asleep, I blame and shame myself because I knew better and I still fell asleep. So, now it’s not me letting external circumstances or people control and have power over me, it’s me joining the party and beating up on me. It’s time to repeat my mantra: I forget…I remember. That feels so loving and gentle, doesn’t it?!

Right now, join with me in the intention of taking the ongoing plunge into waking up and becoming aware of, and responsibility for, the thoughts and feelings we’re entertaining in any given moment. Then, and only then, we can make a different choice when necessary in order to live the thriving and joyFULL life that is our birthright.

11-10-21 A few months ago I would have told you I was a woman fully engaged in my heart. I would have been wrong. Lately, in the process of studying for my HeartMath certification my face has been pressed hard against the gap between “fully engaged” and mostly engaged. And I’ve learned that even that “little” amount of time of not being fully engaged in my heart is hugely depleting for my energy, health and well-being.

Thank goodness I keep doing the work (I am celebrating myself right now for doing that) because otherwise I’d be that “other” person, you know, my “evil twin sister” much more than I currently am. Oh my goodness, I can only imagine the life I might have had if I’d let myself continue along that parched and dusty road, but happily I’m living my dream life with only momentary lapses. And yet the thing is, even though I’m only twin sis momentarily here and there throughout the day and there are so many days when I’m not that way at all, when I AM that way it feels like I’m always that way, and I think I always will be like that, forever. So what is really a little speck, when it’s right in front of my face, blocks anything and everything else out…and it seems so true BUT IT’S NOT. I keep doing the self-work of dwelling in my heart so I can remember what my truth is even when I’m in schmutz.

About 4 days before coming home from my 3-week evacuation from the fire I started having sleeping issues. That was 2 months ago. I guess the tally of the past 1 ½ years on my adrenals caught up with me. As you can imagine, it is extremely hard to hold it together on any level without sleep. Yet my HeartMath classes and homework have helped me to do just that. My days (and nights) were occupied with doing different exercises and I honestly don’t think I would have made it through otherwise. I’ve been so busy actively choosing renewing feelings (like compassion, gratitude, and peace) I haven’t spiraled downward from (unconsciously) allowing myself to be in depleting feelings (like worry, anxiety, and overwhelm). And happily, when I’ve realized I was indulging in feelings and attitudes that didn’t serve me, I’ve used my tools to immediately shift and reset them.

It’s vitally important for me to keep doing the work so I can acknowledge in every moment whether what I am choosing to experience is adding to my life or diminishing it. If it’s the latter, I can choose to not let myself get away with that anymore, even when it seems like such a tiny moment of thought. I then gently discern what my role was in creating that and how I am going to change it now so it becomes easier to make that same choice in the future. Sometimes acknowledging I’ve made a mistake (of feeling, thought, attitude, or the perception) can seem disheartening, especially if I take it to mean I haven’t learned anything and I’m wrong, hopeless and undeserving. But when I do my work, fully engaged with my heart, I realize how much I’ve grown through learning and unlearning. Instead of being disheartened, I am empowered and healed by connecting with all the wonderful life-affirming energies within me.

I’ve always loved HeartMath work but diving into it and immersing myself totally in it again for the past 2 months has been so rewarding personally. I would love to mentor you, share HeartMath’s amazing benefits with you and together, let’s see what happens in your life. It’s all really so simple and fun. Get in touch and we’ll begin. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

9-24-21 Home! I’ve been reflecting on being away from home for 3 weeks due to the 1-week voluntary and the 2-week mandatory evacuation. I see that many of my neighbors have been doing some reflecting, too, putting out lots of posts about the value of family and friends and realizing what’s most important to them. Having been in the middle of 3 or 4 community catastrophes, as well as numerous personal ones, I’ve noticed they tend to get folks thinking about these kinds of things, and that’s a good thing (there’s got to be some perks when overwhelming things happen, right?)

What seems most helpful to me is to remember where my safety comes from, indeed, where my everything comes from. I’m hearing that many people are experiencing more stress now that they’re home (maybe because the adrenal rush has slowed somewhat). If they’re like me, maybe they’re having not-very-helpful thoughts like…this happened before, it could happen again or…I don’t feel like I have the energy to keep dealing with this or anything else.

So often, stress takes us forward into the future and uncertainty, or it takes us back to the past and we wind up re-living those past stresses as if they’re happening in the present. Happily, I don’t stay at either place for too long because I’ve learned feeling safe is an inside job that I can only do right now, as is bringing forth hope and staying positive. They’re all aspects of more empowered possibilities for me when I focus on the bigger picture of me, the heart-centered version of me, rather than what might happen, could happen or isn’t happening. My well-being truly is dependent on how I respond to what’s going on around me, no matter what’s going on around me.

Stew (AKA hubby) did a recent podcast on staying present that was really inspiring. He said, “We often think we need to reach a future goal in order to get into a state of consciousness such as love, peace of mind, fulfillment or joy, but the best way to reach the goal is to get into that kind of state of consciousness NOW.” That’s SO important to keep in mind and just as important is for me to remember that past and future imaginings don’t have to keep me from being in the state of consciousness that would best serve me NOW. I love asking myself these 2 inner-directed questions as they help me stay centered on that idea: “What am I focusing on?” and “What do I need right now?”

Invariably, when I’m feeling wobbly (as in feeling like I can’t cope, and I’m overwhelmed, anxious and not thinking clearly) I’m focusing on other things…I have all my attention on the problem. To paraphrase Einstein, you can’t solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created the problem. That’s a good reminder for me to stop, breathe, remember that I am more than enough, focus on my core values and (re)connect with my heart strengths.

That is ALWAYS what I need in the moment. And maybe, in addition, I need some self-empathy. I need to be a little gentler with myself, give myself some slack (AKA compassion) for what I’m dealing with and then a little (or a lot of) encouragement that I’ll get through it, I am the one to remind myself that I am wonderful and I have great tools.

 Ahhhhhh, I feel better – how about you? You have those same strengths and tools within you. You, too, are more than enough to deal with the stresses of the world. And if, for whatever reason, you can’t find those strengths or access it for yourself, I’d love to help you. We all deserve to be living our dreams, sharing ourselves from our extraordinary everyday wholeness, and enjoying life to its fullest. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

9-4-21 I’ve been staying with my daughter, Ari, during my evacuation. However, she’s not here now and I’m looking around her room and it’s all very interesting. And strange. On one wall there’s the throw blanket I used to love that I gave her a bunch of years ago. On another wall there are 5 wedding pictures of me and Stew she copied at some point from what I have in my house, and next to it is a photo of 3 footprints. Every time we went to the ocean since she could walk, we took a picture of all our right feet in a row. Wow, how precious. And there are positive affirmations everywhere, on a plant, on the mirror, hanging from the lamp, that she hung up to help her to stay resilient. A part of that is from hanging out with me her whole life, which feels good, and the rest is her own strength. Also around the room is more of my legacy to her (it seems) in the various dried flower collections. And, there’s more evidence of her separation from me, her “ownness” – all her creations and her mementos from her travels and love notes from friends.

Isn’t that our human journey? We are all (probably) so much like our parents and represent more of their legacy than we’d like to admit. Maybe acknowledging that makes us happy, maybe not. Still, whichever way we view it, hopefully we take it and run with it, evolve it into something uniquely ours that works better for us and is nurturing. I’d like to take this moment and acknowledge the myriad ways I, my daughter, and you, have taken what has been handed down to us, good and bad, and transformed it into the glorious light that we each are and the gifts that we share with the world.

Speaking of my Ari, I just looked at a blog she wrote 3 years ago when she & I went traveling together in a van across Iceland for a few weeks. I was looking at the pictures and oh my goodness I loved how I looked, so free, relaxed and so darn happy. Seeing it in those pictures I remembered it. Remembering it, I felt it. In feeling it, that became my experience in the present. Ah, bliss.

The above little exercise is one of the things I do and teach based on my HeartMath practices. Everything that has ever existed in our lives is available to us. Unfortunately, we seem to want to revisit those past times that were more horrible than the lovely ones! And then don’t you feel that horribleness in the present? The shame? The guilt? The not enoughness? Well, for goodness sake, I’d love to help you change that experience by leading you through the exercise I described above for myself, so much more empowering and satisfying. It’s a great tool to add to the tools you already employ. Just contact me!

Yes, sometimes we get stuck in our thoughts and in feeling bad. But there are tools we can use to access more life-affirming thoughts and feelings. No one and nothing can interfere with our everyday wholeness, except us, so let’s choose love, well-being and peace instead. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

8-25-21 California is on fire and I just voluntarily evacuated my home. I don’t think the fire will reach us, but the air quality has been over 600 from the smoke. Unfortunately, Stew has just left for Florida on business so I came to my daughter’s place on the coast and oh my goodness there’s so much to be grateful for…you know, all those things most of us normally take for granted – like being able to go outside and see blue skies and clouds (and an ocean!), and breathe clean air, and look around at nature not covered all in ash.

It’s the first time I’ve travelled at all since Covid stuff started and my first sight of the ocean had me bawling. I’ve been rather not myself this past week, viewing the “apocalypse” of eerie red and gray smoke all over where I live and more recently, having to pack up “essentials” and saying good-bye (who knows, it could be a final good-bye) to my home and sanctuary of 33 years. I’ve been feeling anxious, afraid, and morose, to name just a few feelings, and not functioning very well (I guess that kind of feelings and actions go together).

So, today, at the ocean, I got down to business, self-care business, and did a morning of meditating and residing in my heart, where only Love lives, and consciously facing and moving out all my stuck and fearful energy. This is where my safety lies, and the only place where my safety lies. Ah, to be back home!

Oh, my dear friends, I know the world is a scary place sometimes, but it really has always been just as scary as it is now. I don’t have to mention the myriad ways lives end suddenly, heartbreakingly, and without warning. We just normally don’t look at and think about all the ways life can be so scary because it’s….well, scary.. So, now in this time of the Covid virus the fear people are experiencing seems to be so great and overwhelming, maybe because we have never faced it in the past.

And we were told that the answer to the Covid crisis, as we are still being told, is to isolate ourselves from each other. And yet I believe being together, connecting face to face, heart to heart is the one of the main things that makes life so precious, gives it meaning, and increases our health and resilience. I’ve talked here before about my intense year spent studying death, from a Buddhist point of view. I’m generalizing, but basically, it’s about really getting down and dirty with death as your best friend and ally, facing all the fears around it, because that really is the only way to truly be free and live life fully. That year “with death” really connected me into my heart and helped me build up resilience and safety. It still continues to help me to get in touch with safety in the only place it truly resides, within me.

It's never too late to start a practice of facing our fears, one thought at a time. Sometimes, though, we all need a little help from our friends when we find it tough to get there by ourselves and I would never have made it through these last few days without the strong arms of my daughter around me, offering her love, comfort and support. Sometimes, when we can’t get can’t to the safety within us, it helps to have the physical touch of someone holding us tight. Indeed, the connection of touch is vital (just ask babies).

So, as always, what do I have control over? I intend to stay with Love, keep focusing my thoughts on Love and I don’t intend to waste any more of my precious moments being afraid for whatever reason and having a closed-off heart to myself, to others, and to Life! Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Update:  it’s now 8-30-21 and it seems very likely the fire will reach the basin. It’s definitely a hard day and a sorrowful one. Yet today is still a good day...and it’s up to me to make it so! I’ll go ask for the ocean’s help once again.

8-19-21 Last week was fantastic, with lots of awesome and nurturing outdoor adventures. Being in nature always helps me stay strong, which was important as the world once again turned away from connection, and “normal” looked more and more like vaccination cards would be required for everything I want to do. Then the ash started falling from a new fire burning nearby, outside looked like the apocalypse, and it was hard to be outside. I was definitely experiencing overwhelm. I did for myself what I preach, teach and counsel to everyone else. I stopped everything, rather than continue another minute in feeling morose and detached from my heart, and instead chose to connect with my heart.

From that expanded space of Love, I was, first of all, able to acknowledge my feelings instead of running from them, and second, connect those feelings directly to my needs that weren’t getting met. Finally, giving myself lots of acceptance and compassion, I could mourn all of that, release it appropriately and see if there was a solution. My heart was now open and I could perceive things from the highest perspective of Love’s healing and see if there was something more constructive I could do with the energy.

Love always helps me to see more uplifting possibilities, like remembering what I have to be grateful for. Even in the most difficult of circumstances, when I’m connected to my heart, I find endless reasons for gratitude.

 When people are going through something hard and it seems as if it’s never going to end, I’ll often ask them to reflect on this question: “Assuming it is true that this is never going to end, how would you then choose to live with it?”  Pondering that for myself helped me clarify some heartful solutions. Even cooler is that I came away with more resilience and resolve. If, indeed, things continue as they are now, then it would be even more important for me to live from my standards of integrity and from Love. After connecting in with my heart I knew with great certainty that I could still do that. And I would do that!

I will stand firmly on the fertile ground of Love, Be-ing Love, expressing Love with compassion and gentle acceptance, both for myself and for those who are making different choices than I am. Yes, now I am back to my everyday wholeness and able to be a warrior.  

I invite you to indulge in a little “me” time for yourself right now or whenever you are feeling so stressed out and overwhelmed that you’re detached from your heart, and therefore from your best self. We don’t have to be afraid of the times when we feel less strong. We can simply acknowledge them for letting us know we need to recharge our battery and spend some quiet time with our heart. We are all warriors.

Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

8-11-21 In a recent meditation, I came up with a fantastic and what seems to be very needed way to offer my services. I will now be offering one-time mentoring calls (or two or three) to help you move through feeling stuck, thinking negatively, clarifying a specific issue, or overcoming a challenge.

I am a master at one-on-one, moment-by-moment inspiration. So often I have had people come to me stuck in their feelings (like overwhelm, anger, confusion or hopelessness) and thinking there’s no way out and/or there’s something wrong with them. However, after only a few minutes together focusing on what’s right and true about them, things tend to turn 180 degrees.

I have an amazing ability to honor you right where you are so you can honor YOURSELF right where you are (that’s very important). And because I am on the outside looking in, I also see you in your bigness, your more than enough-ness. Together, we can turn that hard-to-be-with-moment around and draw forth the strength that’s within you…the strength that is always within you but you just forgot!

I am an incredible gift you can give yourself!

So, I am here for those of you who want to continue to do ongoing weekly mentoring AND for those of you who just want a quick, inspirational, life-changing pick-me-up chat, whether once, occasionally, or as often as you need. Your choice, all on a love offering basis.

Here’s some words from Sherry, whom I supported in this way: “Whenever I share my life challenges with Hillary, she listens for a long while before subtly reminding me to come back to my core values. Her compass is oriented towards love, gratitude, self-compassion and authenticity. And she perpetually helps me to remember those are my guide posts as well. I always feel emotionally renewed and reconnected to my core values after any time spent with Hillary.”

Today is a good day...and I make it so!

7-21-21 Some people only know me as an acquaintance, or, since I’ve lived in my town a long time, they know of me. Very often they start up a conversation with me by telling me how “together” I am or “what a peacemaker” I am, and, furthermore, they wish they could be “more like me”. This is obviously a person who has never read these blogs or participated in any of my classes or workshops, where I always share the “schmutz” that lies underneath what others see in me and all the work I’ve done (and still are doing) to get to that centered peace point. It makes me sad that so many people believe that harmony and peace are unachievable for them. It’s important to me that you at least know that what I talk about is possible for EVERYONE to achieve.

First, it’s a matter of knowing that it IS possible. That’s why I’ve made it my mission, as a chiropractic warrior, to not only tell people that regular adjustments will improve lives on every level, but also to educate folks that the power of positive thought has tremendous power to impact their lives. I have seen the miracle both bring and the stupendous results of the two working together is definitely life changing!

Second, once we know it’s possible, as long as we move a little bit in that direction every day, it all gets easier.  In my experience it was hard at first, because my habits of thinking and doing things the same old way, even when they didn’t work and contributed to my feeling bad, came so easy to me. But I persisted. It’s true what they say – “where there’s a will there’s a way.” I had so many people to encourage me to never give up and I experienced first-hand that when I persisted and applied the principle of positive thoughts in my life, they DID take hold and make a difference, eventually grooving new channels of responding and being in my brain. My courageous self-inquiry, coupled with gentleness, unconditional acceptance and radical compassion for myself helped me to open my heart so that Love became my default quicker and easier. So, I return the favor and encourage you to not give up on yourself, don’t stop working on creating yourself into the loving, powerful, living more fully from the essence of Love you are when it seems like nothing is happening or changing.

 I don’t know if it ever stops seeming like 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but I don’t take too much notice of that anymore. To me, that’s the flow of life sometimes, or at least mine. I am happy to say my self-care encompasses everyday wholeness, balancing my “super woman” that keeps me moving forward in the direction of my best intentions for myself with an acceptance of the meander the path sometimes takes by honoring all my baser feelings and needs.

So, today, my process included going for a little walk behind our house. With fires raging all over CA, and one only 20 miles away in some of my favorite hiking spots, I was feeling despondent and anxious. I needed safety to allow myself to feel the depth of my sadness. I went into nature of course, sat down on a log, and let the silence enfold me. It’s really important that I create time for that silence – when my day is full of things to do (let alone too much to do) I don’t have a chance to check-in with myself and see what I’m feeling underneath all that busyness. I laid down on Mother Earth, letting my tears water Her ground. I apologized for all the mistakes we humans have made over the centuries that have contributed to all the problems She and consequently humans are now facing. She received my apology and my tears and offered me Her strength. After a bit, I felt purged, rested and restored with a renewed energy to do what is mine to do – focus on my own life to live in a manner that does no harm to land or people. It was time to be part of the world, again, able to apply some of that afore-mentioned persistence and keep my thoughts focused on Love and positivity. This was now possible because I was back in everyday wholeness and my sadness was no longer feeling overwhelming but had become an ally to help focus my will. To confirm it (as often happens) a Blue jay feather appeared in front of me. Blue jay is the watchdog of the forest. How fitting, with Love, I was ready to be the watchdog of my own personal space again. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

7-12-21 Oh my it feels so hard to be a human lately. That being said, I know I’ve gone through many cycles in my life that have been difficult to get through. I’ve gotten through them and that does help me to know I’ll get through this one, too. Still, this is now and now is hard.

Time to look in my tool bag and see what will help me. One of my tools is self-inquiry to see what I’m actually thinking which directly influences how I feel which then colors how I’m continuing to perceive things. I believe that the body believes every word we say, so as my friend and ally, my body will do all it can to carry out my words and thoughts. That helps me to be a little less unconscious and not let myself get away with habitual thinking and careless speaking. I examine my thoughts and words and in so doing make more wise and empowering choices. For instance, years ago I might have said I would TRY to make better choices. “Try” means to me that I’m setting myself up for failure rather than implanting the thought in my consciousness that I am capable and CAN and WILL be able to do what I say. (And incidentally, just because I say I can and will doesn’t mean that I punish myself when I can’t and don’t).

OK, back to my original point. I am pretty proud of myself for all the work that I’ve done which triggered the alarm bell going off in my head when I said, “It’s too hard to be alive right now”. That could too easily translate into “I don’t want to be here, alive in this body anymore” and putting it it like that very quickly allowed me to realize that is NOT what I want. We hear it all the time, don’t we - In any given moment, something unexpected happens and poof, a person is out of their earth suit and pure spirit again.

Just now we had a 6.0 earthquake centered about 30 miles away. Here, in our house, everything went wombly (don’t think that’s a word but that’s how it felt) and Stew & I felt nauseous for quite a while afterwards. Wow, that brought home instantly what I just said about the unexpected happening. If I were to take cognizance of that in more of my moments I expect I would have a different perspective in more of my moments and therefore, have a helluva lot more wonderful moments. Wonderful as defined as being more present with absolutely no past or future thoughts that either has me bringing forward bad memories that happened in the past and expecting the same to continue or imagining a future that could go wrong and worrying about it. In staying present, I give myself the best hope of realizing what’s good and working right now and I give myself the best chance of then capitalizing on that.

 I am alive and that is IT, that is everything! The life within me is capable of greatness, seeing beauty, holding hope, expressing love, being a beacon of light.  Survival has always been an iffy thing since the beginning of time, we just choose to ignore that fact. But when I am in this slowed…down… absolutely… only here…now… present moment… in this microcosm of time that we can’t even measure………. I AM OK, in fact – I am more than OK. I reside with Love, indeed I am Love, I am one with the miracles of Life, I am more than enough with everything I need within me ready to help me live my best life!! And this moment of time also includes all the joy/good time memories/happiness/connection with all Life, and therefore all its gifts, that have ever existed for me. Wahooooo.  Now that’s a sweet deal, all right there for me in the power of my choice of thoughts and words. I am again ready to be my GODDESS OF WISDOM AND BEAUTY.

6-30-21 How often do you take something that went wrong or at the least didn’t go the way you wanted or hoped and then turn around and make yourself wrong? I used to do that a lot. It seems to be so human but I don’t believe it’s natural. For whatever reason, most of us learned to make ourselves wrong very early in the game. So many of us didn’t hear encouragement at home or at school. In fact, we were called stupid or clumsy or laughed at, and we took that to be the truth of us. It’s bad enough that, in the past, when other people have called me names, I didn’t have the tools then to put up a barrier against them, and I let that hurt me. It was a whole lot worse when I kept identifying with those names, when I looked in the mirror and called myself those names, too. It took me a long time to get over those childhood hurts because…well, they hurt - we’re pretty vulnerable at a young age and they go deep.

So, what if we didn’t do that anymore? What if we didn’t give a mistake any meaning and just held ourselves in compassion for the sadness we feel for it not going the way we wanted? I know I felt a lot different about myself when I learned to do that, rather than call myself names.

And if it’s something I could do differently, rather than calling myself stupid or bad or wrong because of that, now I start by telling myself “I wish I had done it this way”. Simply that, no false meaning attached to it which would certainly sabotage me from ever doing it any differently in the future. I then take it a step further and visualize myself doing it differently, the way I wish I’d done it. That becomes just as real to me as the original way, I’m able to stay more positive about myself, and now I’ve just created a new pathway for future success.

What matters the most to me is that I learn from what I did today and make a choice to be better the next time or do what I did differently. Then I can be proud of myself as well. Don’t we all deserve that courtesy?! So, next time, make the choice to be gentle with yourself. Let’s all accept ourselves more when we do less than 100% our best-hey, it feels good, too. Today  is a good day...and I make it so!

6-16-21 Life is so damn good!! Even when it isn’t – it just depends upon what I’m focusing on, doesn’t it? All the good is still there, but somehow I make it totally disappear when I am focused on what’s wrong, what’s missing. I am constantly amazed, though, at how much my perception can change, and how quickly, when I move my focus to Love. I know I share this with you often, perhaps I sound like a broken record, but I do so because this is the main tool I use for myself and BECAUSE IT WORKS!

Everyone I talk to says they are bent lower than they normally would be, even over the smallest hurt. I know for me, as the world goes up and down on its rollercoaster, it seems more difficult to stay positive these days. Grief adds to grief, and however small each one individually might seem, it feels big in the moment. My body has held these griefs for over a year, and it has taken its toll on me physically and I don’t seem to heal as quickly, pain lingers. That, too, is tiring. I have good days and bad, I have good moments and bad. Sound familiar?

To be resilient is to be able to deal with things when they go wrong. In fact, the main definition of resilient is to return to normal especially when bent, stretched or compressed. Anyone been bent, stretched or compressed lately? Yes, we all have been. We can go into our energy savings account within, and if we’ve been working on building that up it’s easy to make a withdrawal and bounce back. When I’ve depleted my reserves from having to continuously bounce back, it’s easy for me to forget it’s up to me to do something about that, or that I even have that power. I am lucky to have an excellent support system that is definitely part of my resilience. So, let me pay that forward and be part of your support system right now.

Happily, we have within us the greatest healer in the world. It’s called Love and its always on the job waiting for our notice. Stop reading this right now, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and as you take a deep breathe, say, “Hello Love, I welcome you into my life”………

Didn’t that feel good? For me that moment of invitation is a life changer. Because I’ve worked many years to make Love my ally, now even an instant of aligning with Love grounds my whole being in what is truer, more empowering, more life-giving for me. I can view things in the best light, able to hold the highest vision for myself and the world. I am ready to be a warrior for Love again, with compassion and reverence for all Life as my shield, ready to see the world through eyes of awe, able to give of my gifts once again. Ah, Love is good, and best of all it is free, and never ending. And by the way, happy birthday Ari, and happy mothering day to me. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

6-7-21 I recently re-read an article I’d saved. I can’t tell you what magazine I’d saved it from or how old it is but I’ve been doing that for years. I have multiple books filled to the brim with scraps of paper waiting to be re-discovered, that remind me of what’s important. Sometimes, if they’re short enough, I re-write them in gaily different colors. Other books are filled with my own thoughts that were profound and meaningful to me, also printed in different colors, of course (colors make me happy so I get 2 perks at once). I believe it’s important to have these inspiring words as easily available as the internet gloom and doom is. So, back to the article.

It was about Doris “Granny D” Haddock, who at 89 years young walked across our country to draw attention to campaign finance reform. Wow just for that alone!  But her words as the speaker at a college commencement really blew me away. She advised the young people to go forth and be free, whatever the cost. “A system is in place to steal your life from you, if you will let it. Don’t let it. This is the only warning you will receive,” she told them. And, further, “You will be surprised at what happens when you dare to be free [she was arrested for peacefully reading the Bill of Rights in a calm voice in the U.S. Capitol Rotunda]. But you will never be sorry you dared to do so.”

Your voice matters. Granny D said it was the way to our freedom and our happiness. It is your truth and a valuable piece you hold that is a vital part of the whole tapestry – there can be no parts left out if we are to have wholeness. That is a fact in living our individual lives with integrity and for living in our communities, as well. No one’s voice should be disregarded just because it’s different from the majority, or uncomfortable for others to hear. Our voices matter, because, undoubtedly, there is at least one other person who shares our belief and hasn’t yet found the courage to speak their own voice, and perhaps, in speaking out and sharing our own experience of things we can inspire others to do the same. In hearing just 1 voice speak out calmly, respectfully, lovingly, echoing my inner views, I always know I’m not alone.

I have been speaking out on the unpopular side of issues most of my life. In the last 25 years, I have also learned to do so with more respect, understanding and love. I will continue to speak out for each of us being able to live and thrive in this world as a birthright, regardless of whatever it is that seems to separate us as human beings. I will honor all beliefs, as long as they harm no one and allow everyone a freedom of choice. And, I am especially proud lately due to some of the messages I have been receiving. Some of them are from folks that Stew and I knew from the 30 years we worked in Safe Haven (Healing Chiropractic Center) thanking us for the inner strength they currently have in dealing with the current world situation because of the education and chiropractic loving they received from us. Others are recent birthday wishes, and gratitude for my mentoring of them over the years through which they developed inner strength and faith in themselves and learned how much they matter and how they are more than enough. I am very grateful to have been that instrument of healing for so many, and grateful as well for all that healed me to heal within myself. Regardless of where along the path of life we happen to be in this moment of time, we are still all on this path together…all on the path of remembering our inner exquisiteness and finding our beautiful voice...to live free and happy. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

5-26-21 The journey of uncertainty continues for the many people who believe that getting vaccinated is not right for them. Will we ever be able to travel again or be allowed into public places without having to wear masks or be asked to show papers that we don’t have? Interestingly enough, it seems as if life also continues to feel uncertain for many folks who have vaccinated. While it is true that, for some, having the vaccination is cause for celebration and a signal that they can return to “normal” life, there are many other vaccinated people bringing the fear of life that this past year has brought for them and what life can “do to us” forward. Sigh. All of that combines into one of the saddest stories of human experience I have ever heard.

Because I am a warrior, I go along doing what I do to keep myself positive and help inspire others. Still, it’s always very appropriate for a warrior to acknowledge those heavier feelings when they build up too much. So, that is what I did when I realized I was feeling sadness and not moving on from it. I went to the beach and added my tears to the peaceful waters of Lake Tahoe (which, unfortunately, could use the extra water right now). I voiced my sorrows – the Lake is a good listener (so hint, hint: we don’t always need an actual physical person with whom to share our feelings and woes. I think the most important part is to voice them to ourselves, rather than ignore them). And I felt better. I didn’t have to fix the world’s problems, change anyone’s opinion about things, make my own feelings and thoughts go away, or worse label them, and therefore, myself, as wrong for having them. I simply had to articulate them. What’s always cool is that once I acknowledge my feelings more, pay more attention to them and feel them more deeply within me, I seem to be able to express them more (shed the tears I was trying to keep a lid on) but then I move through it quicker without it taking me down the road into hopelessness and despair where I can’t move forward and be effective as a warrior. In giving myself full permission to feel, cry, vent, I am also giving myself compassion and connecting with my heart’s wisdom and resilience.

Then I lay against the sand for a while allowing myself to do nothing but breathe, relax, soak in the energy of earth below me and sun above me. I arose, ready to take on the mantle of being a strong, inspiring warrior again. Nothing changed on the outside, but inside I was recharged, aligned to all my warrior powers because I had honored my everyday wholeness once again.  How do you honor your everyday wholeness and recharge into resilience? Today is a good day...and I make it so!

5-22-21 In case you didn’t notice, Stew and I joined forces with the amazing Jenna, marketing guru. It has brought up some uncomfortableness about “putting myself out there.” Funny what thoughts still lie dormant in my head. But really, we all put ourselves out there every day. We interact with friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and someone in the grocery or post office line. If we were to ask each of those people to describe us, we’d probably get a lot of very different answers. For some of us, it seems we’re nicer to strangers than we are to those who know us best and for others of us, it’s often just the opposite.

I know for myself I’ve worked very hard to be constant…I want to be authentic no matter where I am and who I’m with; I want to live by the same set of principles no matter what’s going on. Which means that sometimes I’m equally not nice to everybody. That was a joke…mostly. At least, I am more aware these days that I choose to be connected and loving to everyone. To achieve that I first have to work consistently on my self – I have to create a strong connection to my heart and love myself enough to feel safe enough to present myself just as I am. It’s so good to know that feeling safe is an inside job because it can often feel pretty darn unsafe out in the world. When I discovered I create my safety, not only did it help me to be me and accept myself that way, it also helped me make different choices towards creating safety for myself out in the world, meaning creating boundaries with certain people and in certain situations.

So, back to the marketing. I believe, and teach others, that we are all more than enough, each of us are worth celebrating just as we show up, and every single one of us has gifts to share that can help others. And don’t you notice that sometimes what we tell others is often a good heaping of what we have to remind ourselves? So, I’m telling myself now that, yes it’s definitely OK that Jenna’s on my team, out there telling you and others that I am very good at what I do and have great gifts to share and inspire. Yes, it feels uncomfortable and that just means there’s a piece of me that still wants to hide because it thinks I’m not enough and it’s not safe to share myself with the world.

I’m going to take this opportunity and go sit right down with that piece of me right now and tell “her” I love her. I’m going to wrap her up in a big, soft blanket of compassion and encouragement that will keep her safe. Is there any part of you that doesn’t feel safe when s/he is “out in the world” and wants to stay hidden? Now would be a great time to tell that piece of you that you love them and will keep them safe. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

5-11-21 I am missing my daughter. I am used to me & Ari talking at least once a day, sometimes just for a few minutes here and there throughout the day, sometimes for as long as an hour. We have helped each other to stay resilient and to hold ourselves together through all our losses and sorrows this past year.  Right now, she is being a warrior Goddess and conquering her fear of doing a solo camping trip in Sequoia National Park. It takes a lot to stare down our fears and do something we want to do despite them. I am sure that you, too, are a warrior. Please don’t judge yourself if the fear is still there. I implore you, rather, to focus on the fact that you continued to show up when it’s just so darn hard and scary, sometimes. I invite you to take a moment now and celebrate those warrior triumphs that you might have too easily dismissed.

 There are so many lies that we tell ourselves. And because we keep repeating them we often forget they are just stories we made up for 1 reason or another, and then began to believe them. Lies like: we’re not capable, or strong enough, or smart enough, or we’re just not enough period! When I did my 2 vision quests there were no distractions to pull my mind away from those lies, and it was either face them or be swallowed up by them. Every time we face our fears, every time we bring to light all those thoughts that keep us small and powerless we are being our warrior self. Yahoo us!!!!

 So I dedicate the rest of today’s words to celebrating Ari. She wrote the following to remind herself of the beautiful truth of her being when she resides in her heart. I hope it inspires you to look at your own life and celebrate what you do right – again, there’s so many times we overlook and dismiss all our unique wonderful-ness.

 Time feels continually more, as if I’m losing touch with reality.

The focus of my day to day life has gotten so much smaller.

A feeling of a bubble shrinking around me.

Enclosing and being vast in a new way.

I’ve found a strong pull to making that bubble more beautiful.

I started a garden.

I’ve discovered how delicious the nasturtiums in the yard taste, and how many are hidden throughout the space.

I make beautiful food.

I play dress up just because.

I make art

But I haven’t successfully wished a single person happy birthday on the actual day of their birth since this started.

But I know that a finch sings his heart out, everyday, in the same tree in the yard.

And I know where the moon appears and the trajectory it takes

Thanks Ari, I love you! Today is a good day...and I make it so!

4-15-21 I wrote this with the intention to send it to my local newspaper but it's rather long and I haven't gotten that far yet. Be forewarned it's not my usual inspiration but it's me sharing my heart.

I am writing about the recent news story concerning people who weren’t evacuated in the Caribbean because they weren’t vaccinated. I have lived in SLT for over 40 years. I have volunteered in many places over the years, such as our local library, Lake Tahoe Wildlife Care, and the Women’s center/Live Violence Free. I am a warrior for peace and justice, having marched for peace, women’s rights, and gay rights. I have written many letters to the editor in favor of things such as abortion choice and vaccination choice and stopping nuclear weapons testing that often brought strong emotional reactions.

I am also a chiropractic warrior, and a minister. I have publicly spoken out to share with my community that we have within us the best tools to thrive in optimum health and well-being – our immune systems and our power of thought. Both focus on the wholeness within us and trusting in that. Life expresses Intelligence our body also expresses this Intelligence through our nerve system. The purpose of every adjustment is to remove interference to that expression of Life within us and that is why so many chiropractors are so busy nowadays as a prime tool for health. Health is an inside job and as a society we used to trust that more.

You might believe that the Covid virus has pushed us past that way of thinking and heroic measures are called for. I honor and respect everyone’s right to their own choices. That's why the Carribean story about the (unvaccinated) people denied access to safe passage from a volcano eruption, even if it's not completely true, has me very worried. Were you shocked about that, regardless of your beliefs? I hope so. Or did you validate it, thinking “Good, they deserved that” or maybe a little less extreme, “Well, it was their choice not to get vaccinated”? I urge you to be careful of who you might be turning into. What’s next? Will we unvaccinated people have to wear armbands to identify ourselves? Or will we get taken away to camps, our houses and businesses confiscated? I know there are many who say the comparison is ridiculous, even sacrilegious, but it sure doesn’t feel that way to me.

Happily, we have hopefully launched a golden age where it is no longer acceptable to denigrate people based on their sex, chosen gender, sexual preference, skin color, or racial heritage. Unfortunately, we are in the process of creating a new minority that it is acceptable to denigrate, make wrong and isolate from the rest of society (based on “very good reasons” of course). Just like President Trump and the U.S. wall. Just like Germany and the Jewish people. Just like the segregation of people of color throughout our U.S. history. In the 1940-1950s, abuse against black-skinned people was shamefully justified by the very same science we put our trust in now, when it was “proven” that black-skinned people were actually less human, and therefore less smart, and DIDN’T DESERVE. Science (and especially scientists) constantly changes its mind to fit the prevailing theory of the times. This is what we are now using as gospel to base all our decisions about how to handle Covid and that is influencing the consideration to not allow people to attend the festivities of life, unless they are vaccinated.

I understand that there is a belief that unvaccinated people pose a threat to everyone else. We seem to be ignoring the world’s health crisis in the first place that precipitated all this. Maybe our immune systems that were designed to protect us are not working as well for us because we are so unhealthy to begin with. Why are we doing nothing else (besides masks and vaccinations, which don’t seem to be doing their job, especially as there are always more variants) to help the people we say we’re doing this for to be safer, like working on being healthier thru access to good food, clean water, and better housing and working conditions? Why isn’t getting fit, getting outside more and having positive thoughts mandatory?

Many of us realize we were only getting a slanted view of what went on with Watergate, with the Vietnam war, with so many things. Why are we unquestioningly continuing to buy into the current media narrative? I’m not saying the virus doesn’t exists – it does, it’s scary, and it is true it’s claimed lives. I mourn for those lost lives. But many of those folks had underlying conditions, were elderly, led extremely stressful lives, or had traumatic prior situations, all of which led to compromised immune systems. Perhaps if we had kept our most vulnerable isolated and let those of us who were healthier be exposed to the virus, adapt to it, and get through it faster, producing true herd immunity, we would be over this now. But we are still not “safe”. Viruses have an intelligence of their own and they adapt, which is what is happening as more variants show up. And are we going to do repeat all this again 10 years from now when the next virus comes around?

We’ve all just missed a year of our very precious lives. Everything that makes life worth living was taken away from us, from not being allowed to be with our loved ones at their end-of-life to missing our grandchildren grow up. To be together, no matter what, has always been the blessing of family and at the same time, has always posed a health risk to the more susceptible among us.

Maybe it’s time to admit the medicine seems worse than the illness. People have lost their livelihoods, lost their joy, and more sadly, as a society we’ve become afraid of each other and given up our smiles, our eye contact, our friendships and one of the most important things in staying healthy, our ability to touch and hug each other. I mourn these losses, too. And, are we really going to dissect society and eject all the people who are questioning, who think differently, who have made valuable contributions to society in the past (like me)?.

I respect life too much to fight against it and think I know best how to “cure” things. I choose to strengthen my immune system to give myself my best chance of adapting to the viruses that will continue to come along (because that is what they do) by living fully in the moment, joyfully, open-hearted and positive-minded, offering hugs to anyone who still believes that they are a necessary and vital part of what keeps us healthy.

3-30-21 Stew and I did a zoom workshop a few days ago on “Joy”. In leading a meditation about connecting with our inner joy, I mentioned that joy could feel big or small, quiet or loud. Because, for me, joy is mine when I am fully present with what is, and deeply connected with the feelings within me, whatever they are, and however I label them. Of course, the emotions of being at the ocean with a crashing surf feel different to me than the emotions that mourning, or hardship or just meditating bring. The experience of being at the ocean always thrills me, energizes me, makes me happy. Given a choice, most of us, including me, would rather have a happy day at the ocean than go through a difficult day. Yet, however life presents itself, joy is present for me, even in the midst of hardship and yes, even in the presence of mourning.

 Does that seem impossible for you? I made the decision, many years ago now, to explore my inner world, face my fears and wounds, and to feel the grief and anger of that. I was amazed to discover that not only did that help to heal me, but it softened my heart and opened me up to more positive feelings as well. Being present, feeling life, even with its servings of downward spirals, cracked my heart wide open…so, yes, I feel privileged to now be able to feel my sorrow so deeply because that means I am connected to my heart and I have given myself permission to feel. I had so often been afraid to feel the pain because I thought it was too big and would break me. Just the opposite was true – it actually built me up and expanded me as I discovered the strengths and courage that helped me through those times.

As I connected with and acknowledged all the pain in my heart, I also realized I had kept myself small, was afraid of letting myself shine. I didn’t own my power because that also felt too big for me and would break me. I felt undeserving and not enough. Joy made itself known to me through all the cracks.

I refused to feel for so long and only half-participated in life, did just enough to survive. Yet, the life within you and I is so big, so rich, so full, always precious. It doesn’t discriminate against us and hold back its gifts based on what we’ve said or not said, done or not done. Only we do that to ourselves. And only we can make the choice to open our hearts widely and fully to all that life offers. No matter what’s going on for us or in the world, we can dive into our hearts and feel. No one can do it for us.

I want to bloom the full glory of me, claiming myself as an amazing, unique expression of Life’s Fullness. It’s never too late to plant spring seeds in our own consciousness - claim for ourselves our birthright of being amazing, unique expression of Life’s Fullness. We are more than enough…and we all deserve to thrive. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

 3-23-21 The energy of spring and the Vernal Equinox is all about renewal and hope. Anybody need some of that? So Happy Equinox. I am a big believer in ceremonies. They have a power to help us harness not only the cosmic energy which is occurring in that specific time, but all the energy of the peoples who came before us and who created their own ceremonies. In this case, the ancient peoples were celebrating having survived the hardships of the long, dark winter and the “return of the light” that brought hope for another year. Spring, itself, is also celebrating new beginnings and renewal, giving birth everywhere all around us. Seems pretty apropos for right now, doesn’t it?!

If the actual moment or day slipped by you, the opportunity is still available to pay it notice and create your own ceremony right now. Yes, I know it passed 3 days ago, but for me most things aren’t a fixed moment in time, but more like seasons of consciousness.

Stew and I created a ceremony to plant seeds of positive thought in our consciousness. We played as kids do (also part of the Spring energy worth cultivating), using our imaginations to play with various colorful materials, draw with crayons, and cut with scissors to create flowerpots and trees that represent our intentions. Sitting in the silence we brought forth words of Power that resonated with our souls and will continue to remind us of how we want to show up in the world. So, my flowerpot is illustrated with words like “connection, harmony, respect”.

Just like anything that is planted, ideas and intentions need our attention each day until they take a firm hold in the ground of our Being and are stronger. Spring reminds us to pay attention to and nurture what we started if we want to harvest the fruit a few seasons down the road. Our pots are in a place where we will see them throughout the day. We have been nurturing our seeds these past few days with our openness to Love, Magic and Mystery. What would you like to give birth to and bring forward? Today is a good day...and I make it so!

3-11-21 “It was the best of times it was the worst of times”. Hmmm. Where have I heard that before? Brilliant! (In case you don’t know, it is a line from Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities). The issue of the Covid situation seems to continue forever and no matter what side of the fence you’re on, I’m betting that Dicken’s quote is an apt one for everybody. And it rings true for me no matter what issue I am going through in life. Some days are better than others, where I can bring hope and positivity to the forefront. Where I can see the beauty all around me, and therefore in me and everyone else. Where I can remember Love as what is true and everlasting and unchanging. Other days are filled with hopelessness, when my head is filled with divisiveness, differences and despair.

Another quote that resonates in my heart right now is from Julian of Norwich, “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” It doesn’t matter how many times this has proven true for me specifically, and the world in general, it still feels so elusive right now. And yet still my heart lights on it, like the bird that sings in the dawn while it is still dark.

Oh my gosh this human experience, that has me looking out at the world and crying out in rage, while at the same time I am living my (unbelievably good) life and crying in response to the preciousness of the journey.

I can’t fix the world (I say with all humbleness and a nod in acknowledgment that I believe I have the answer if only “they” will listen, and that “they” believe exactly the same thing about me), I can only walk forward in each moment in integrity. So that means I will continue to examine my thoughts and root out any “them vs. me” unconsciousness, to examine my ways of speaking that exclude others (especially those I don’t agree with), examine my actions that are really based on fear rather than Love and therefore contrary to my stated principles. Most of all, I will continue to focus on that which brings me Joy, and helps me to fulfill my personal mission to heal myself and inspire others to find their own joy. Today is a good day…and I make it so!

2-25-21 I love to sing. Unfortunately, more often than not I sing off key. However, a few years ago I joined a chorus and I became a better singer. I believe I got so much better because I was spending more time and energy practicing. But even more than that, I was actually being more mindful to how I was singing. In other words, I was more mindful to how I was sounding, how I produced my sound, and how I sounded alongside everyone else. All that seems kind of “well yea, duh,” yet the same rules apply to life. Even having the intention to live from my best self, I often live unmindfully. Therefore, the old grooved habits of thought, speech and behavior seem to take over and run me more than I would like. I often feel frustrated and confused when it seems as if nothing ever changes, that I’m still working on the same issues, and that feels frustrating.

A few sharings ago I talked about doing a Season for Nonviolence 64-day program. I’m a little more than a third through now and there have been many perks. The main one has been to help me create more mindfulness in my day. The precepts I am working with are “more in my face” and that’s good – it’s shining the spotlight on my unconscious habits that keep from being more peaceful, both internally and externally.

And, hallelujah, I’ve also discovered that although it might seem I’m still working on the same issues, I’m not the same person that I was decades ago when I first started doing this kind of work. Yes, I still have many of my annoying, and often detrimental, personality traits, but there is also so much more to me now that is good, beautiful and true! I love me, I’m proud of me, I am unashamed to admit my mistakes, I freely celebrate my gifts, I am wide open to Life and all its possibilities…I howlingly celebrate that realization!

This is why I continue to create these kind of self-inquiry opportunities for myself. I am in constant need of learning and unlearning. We all are. We are all so much more capable and bigger than we tend to think we are. I implore you to continue your own self-work and inquiry. We all deserve to shine, from our more-than-enoughness, just as we are, and we all deserve to become even better. We don’t want to ever give up on ourselves, especially if life feels overwhelming and/or static.

It’s also always nice to have someone in our corner, someone who can see our greatness in our everyday wholeness when we can’t, or just to inspire us to be more of it. And since I’ve howled about sharing my gifts I will add, everything I do is on a love offering donation basis and I’d love to help serve you in that way. Today is a good day…and I make it so!

2-17-21 My heart yearns to know Love more. To accomplish this, I meditate, affirm, practice loving myself more, practice loving others more, etc, etc. Sometimes this self-work goes flowingly, gently, successfully; sometimes not. It’s amazing how strong a voice my ego still has. It’s amazing how often and continuously I have to re-learn and unlearn lessons. Sometimes I come across an old tool that I used to love but forgot about it maybe because I thought I was done with that particular lesson. I could say, “Oh you again? Why are you back?” but instead I feels delighted to rediscover an old friend and we do a happy dance together. Another amazing thing –  I still have so many layers to get through in order to keep returning to my heart. I’m just curious – exactly how many layers are there?! Won’t I ever be done?!

Well, suffice it to say, apparently I’m not done peeling the layers. And, I’m the woman for the job. I am exactly who I need to be, with all my faults, weaknesses, weird thoughts…because I am also the woman with all my strengths, awesomeness and passions. What a wonderful dance of everyday wholeness is going on within me all the time.

I used to blame myself for all my ego-related goings on. Then, as I learned to lighten up and love myself more, I laughed at myself. Nowadays, it feels gentler to laugh WITH myself…have a private joke between old friends. How about you? How are you doing making friends with all your pieces and residing in your own everyday wholeness? Today is a good day…and I make it so!

2-8-21 We are such amazing creatures. We are capable of fooling ourselves so tremendously, making great mistakes, hurting ourselves, and others, so deeply. And then our better natures take over, and we do wonderful deeds like saying I’m sorry, or reaching out to ask for help, or focusing on our greatness even when it seems like the hardest thing to do. Stew, Ari and I have committed to doing a 64-day practice with the Season for Nonviolence. Now in its 24th year, it commemorates the 64 days between the dates of the assassinations of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. Each day there is something to reflect on regarding how I can be peace out in the world more, and what might be blocking that. What I really like about it is the mix of looking at my inner thoughts and beliefs as well as noticing what I am doing (or not) out in the world.

Life is a balance of being and doing. For me, it is of the utmost importance that I make sure all my doing comes from as pure a place of Be-ing as it can. Otherwise, I am doing good badly. Mostly that comes out when I “should” on myself – do something out of guilt or ego or because I couldn’t say “No” at the time, but I didn’t really want to do it. My heart wasn’t in it, and my doing was at my own expense. Sound familiar? That’s not good self-care and not the kind of energy I want to put out into the world when I am actually doing something good.

In today’s Covid world, it might seem difficult to do all we want to do to serve and to share our gifts. I am constantly reminding myself that one of the biggest things I can do right now is to keep a good watch on my inner landscape. It’s easy for me to focus on negatives and then spiral down. I took Gandhi’s quote, “We must be the change we wish to see in the world”, to heart many years ago. How can I expect to look around and see the kind of world I want to live in if I am not doing my part? If I am going to point a finger and blame others, I must include myself – which is good, but I don’t really want to blame, either myself or anyone else. What works for me is to go within and examine my own thoughts, words and deeds. If I am saddened these days for what seems to be a loss of connection between people, I can be the change I wish to see by making damned sure I am connected to my own heart…by making damned sure that when I am with someone else I am absolutely present with them…by making damned sure that when I am on a walk I am present with the moment and the life around me as I pass it be. All that makes a difference, surrounding me in connection and sending it out to the world, too, one precious moment at a time.

For more info on the Season for Nonviolence please go to www.seasonofnonviolence.com.  Today is a good day...and I make it so!

1-28-21 I had a physical injury about a month ago and I’ve been in pain ever since. It’s been hard for me to do all the things that I love to do that bring me joy in the winter, things like cross-country skiing, sledding, and yes, even shoveling. Add to that a few hard weeks of Stew also being in pain from an infected tooth (how dare he be cranky at the same time as me). Add to that, of course, the world is still doing its thing and resilience has sometimes felt like an uphill battle. Well, I must admit there was a lot of whining going on in my head and “poor me-ing.”

We used to threaten our mentor that we would lock him in a closet and make him listen to his own tapes. I took that to heart and listened to some of my own advice. So in my meditation the other day, I put the loving arms of compassion around me. I gave my “poor me self” empathy and reflected back to myself, “Yes it must be difficult for you to not be able to do all the things you want to do.” In that self-love, I felt validated and important. After a little while of basking in that acceptance and bringing myself to everyday wholeness, I was able to focus on the bigger self also within me, the one that remembers its well-being in all moments and knows to look within for everything it needs. If I was to feel better, it was up to me and no one else! I called forth joy…I called forth lightness of being - 2 of my core strengths. Then I went sledding! Attitudinal adjustment. (And then I took care of me and got adjusted, did ice and heat, and applied arnica).

You know what, I’m still in pain, the world hasn’t changed…but my whole world has changed. Taking time out from the clamoring thoughts in my head, spending a few minutes in the silence within, where I always find Love waiting to embrace me, with its peace and wisdom, gives me a truer perspective, one that allows for more space around my thoughts and lets me breathe, step back from what seems so in my face and bring Love into the equation. Ah, today once again feels like a good day...and I made it so!

1-21-21 “If at all possible state each opinion as a fear. (Say what you are afraid of, because we are always more willing to give up fears than cherished opinions, even though inside every opinion that is causing a rift there is fear. It lurks there like white sugar inside commercial granola. So read the labels on your opinions).

Hugh Prather (who you may remember from the 1970’s great little book, Notes to Myself) was really big on attitudinal healing.  And that’s really what I am always espousing in these posts. He advocated that in order to know wholeness and peace we had to be willing to let go of that which is obstructing it, which for him was a focusing on our conflicted minds (which I would further define as fear stemming from all my self-limiting, self-doubting, I’m not enough, I’m not OK thoughts). For years, I was a person who always wanted to be in control because I was always right and everyone else obviously wasn’t. However, being in control and being right didn’t necessarily bring me any peace. In fact, that core belief brought me considerable unhappiness. It eventually led me down the first steps on a spiritual path of inward reflection on what that meant. It wasn’t until I was willing to be totally honest with myself, as well as faced the fears that were actually behind my need to be right, that I was able to begin letting go of control. I used Hugh Prather’s “I’d rather be happy than right” for many years to help me transform those thoughts and behavior in a way that worked positively for  me and would also bring peace into my life .

So, here we are 10 months into Covid and family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers are deeply divided on what is right and what is wrong to do. Having a belief system around all this, staying in peace, and keeping respectful had certainly been working me out. I remember about 3 months into it I was talking to a friend over Zoom. It was our first conversation to try and heal our rift from opposing belief systems and it was my first personal contact with the argument that being in favor of masks, social distancing and everything that went along with that had nothing to do with fear. Since then I freely admit I have had a continuous struggle to do as my hero, MLK, Jr. advocates – you don’t have to love the belief system, or the action, but do love the person. Gandhi, another of my heroes, taught me to live the examined life so as to align my thoughts, my words and my deeds in common purpose.  Wow that’s a biggie! And so I vow to continue to deeply and honestly examine and question my thoughts, and to live according to my principles no matter how difficult that might be or how much fear it might bring to light for me. That being said, I offer the above Hugh Prather statement in the hopes of living in a world where people recognize their fears and are able to live in joy anyway. As we remember that there is Life within us, always sourcing us from Love, always connected to the universal intelligence around us whose job it is to re-create us in very moment in harmony and well-being (when we don’t interfere with it; when we trust and believe in it!), we are more able to live not guided by our fears but by our strengths. So, I hope you will join me and be inspired to, as the bumper sticker says, “Question Reality”…all reality, even when it’s inconvenient and uncomfortable. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

1-14-21 The picture was taken the other day…a wintertime walk in one of my favorite marshes. “They”, in their wisdom, have cut down all the beautiful willows along the stream. Perhaps you’re thinking it still looks beautiful; to me everything seems barren and sad because I am seeing with the eyes of memory. It’s all perspective isn’t it? But I also have other memories in my head of this place.  It’s one of my joyspots and I love it because of the multitude of birds I usually see, from the majestic bald eagle and great blue heron, to the mid-size hawk or beautiful merganser, to the small and entertaining chickadees. And so even as I see snow and ice and bare willows all around me, I am hearing birdsong, feeling the heat of summer and remembering the icy cold water of my stream plunge. Every present moment carries with it echoes of the past. I had a choice on that day’s walk whether to dwell in bad memories or good ones, and which ones to choose to bring along with me on the walk.

In fact, I always have a choice in what I bring along with me in any given moment, as do we all. Our lives are steeped in memories of things that happened to us, that we label either good or bad. I can’t change the past…or can I? I used to define my present based on my childhood and live as a victim to my self-limiting moods, thoughts, feelings and habits that ensued from that, none of which served me. When I chose to stop defining myself according to those memories, I changed my present and somehow my past did change. This is a big thing I’m talking about, and it took dedicated years of focusing on self-love rather than self-hatred until things turned around (isn’t it weird how difficult it can be to focus on self-love? But that’s for another day). And for some of you the wounds go very deep. Please know that I’m not minimizing anything that might have happened to you or telling you not to hold other people accountable for their actions. What I am saying is that, for me, the past changed as I started telling myself a different story and I released the claws of old memory choices.  Once I stopped carrying them around and telling myself I was a shit because of it, that I was undeserving and not enough because of it, I was free to create new memories of myself from the bigness of me. That picture of myself was always there within me alongside the other snapshot, just a matter of choice and perspective. Which do you choose? Today is a good day...and I make it so!

1-7-21 Marshall Rosenberg’s NVC (Nonviolent or compassionate Communication) is a way of living for me, or at least something I always aspire to. Sometimes I fail miserably, (maybe more than sometimes) especially in these Covid days when I seem more upsettable. And in being more upsettable, I am also not as patient or understanding as I would like and I find myself feeling combative in normal, everyday conversations with my loved ones. Marshall teaches to give empathy first, then honesty, which means if I want someone to hear what I have to say and have the best possible chance of getting my needs met (and theirs) it’s best to follow that order/suggestion/prescription.

That advice is equally true when dealing with myself. Every morning I remind myself how I want to be through the day, specifically in what consciousness I want to express from. When I don’t live up to the standards I set for myself it’s so easy to make it worse and criticize myself. But when I stop right then and there, and instead give myself empahy - put the arms of compassion around myself, I make space for turning that “crunkiness” into an ally, rather than letting it sabotage me further. Giving myself empathy in the moment means that I accept that I am human, that yes, in that particular instance I acted unconsciously and not at all how I intended to show up…AND that I am STILL worthy of love (from myself in this case). I turn “failure” into growth with unconditional acceptance of my authentic self that in that moment includes crunkiness. To gently admit to myself I am not always perfect in all I say and do is a precious gift I give to myself and a celebration of living from my everyday wholeness.

After empathy, honesty comes next. Now, with an open heart I can ask myself, “How can I do better? Do I need to make amends? Is there something I’m needing, something that is missing for me in this moment, that I can satisfy in a different, more appropriate, more healthy way?” In asking these questions I again turn my “acting out” into an ally…all parts of me working FOR me, not against me.

So, join me in this joyful dance of everyday wholeness. Try on empathy and honesty for yourself and see if it serves you, too. We are always worthy of celebration for how far we’ve come, for everything we’ve had to overcome, and for how we show up, and keep showing up, just the way we are…now that’s perfection. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

12-30-20 Stew has often said that he’d like to have a memorial or celebration of life while he’s still around, assuming people had good things to say about him and he’d get to hear it all. Well, I just had that experience as a Christmas present, thanks to my daughter, Ari (which Stew helped her execute). She put out the word to the world at large that I was feeling discouraged and sad and, if it resonated with them, to send her something written up about how I’d made a positive impact in their lives. She put all this together in a book. I felt like George Bailey realizing what a wonderful life he’d truly had. It was very emotional to read a lot of the entries and I could handle only so much crying at one time. And although I do know what a wonderful life I’ve had, it was truly heart-opening to hear so many people’s experiences of me that I’d forgotten, or never even knew about in the first place, and to hear how something I’d done had deeply affected them for the good. I did lots of breathing, crying, and taking in this praise by taking my time (4 days) to really savor it all.

The stories reminded me of who I’ve been, and who I am still am, even though I feel so different from that these days. Sometimes, when I’m feeling low or disconnected from my best big heart Self, and I need help pulling myself out of that, I go to my family, and sometimes dear friends, and say, “Please tell me something specific that you love and/or appreciate about me.”. Ari has heard me give her that advice, too, when she’s feeling disconnected from a certain person. It’s a great gift to give yourself, AND the other person. I invite you to give yourself and the person you choose to ask (hint: start with someone you trust) this gift right now. Don’t wait until you’re feeling bad. My friend, everyone needs and deserves to hear how wonderful they are - often.

The stories also reminded me that, while we can share an experience, or even a lifetime, with someone, we often don’t share the specifics of how we each felt at the time – what an unnecessary loss of deep connection. The good news is we can choose to make up for that starting right now. Each of us can take the opportunity and immerse ourself in a good memory…to think back on a time when someone did something that deeply and positively impacted us. Call, text, email or snail mail…so many different ways to share and let them know how wonderful they were (hint: from my book I know first-hand that it felt more special when folks shared not only what I specifically did but how it contributed to their well-being as well).

So, thank you, Ari (and Stew) I’m living as my everyday wholeness a lot more now because of you. And to all the people who contributed to my book, if you’re reading this before I get to thank you “in person”, please know you have just contributed to some very important needs that matter a great deal to me: connection, support, feeling “seen”, and, letting me know I matter. Yes, indeed, today is a good day...and you helped make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

12-23-30 Happy merry jolly sacred blessed everything! Some of the holydays of Light have come and gone, some we’re in the midst of, and some are yet to come. Personally, I’m a spiritual mutt and I love celebrating everything. We just did a solstice ceremony where we opened to the Light and the Dark, each being a vital part of the whole whether we are talking about within ourselves or the world at large. As we meditated on each energy, we clearly heard their messages. The common themes were our knowing of ourself as the Light, and that it is not gotten by looking outside of ourselves. Completing the ceremony, we then practiced oneness and compassion as we held that healing not only for ourselves but for the world.

Whatever your belief system is around this time, I hope you are making time to sit in the silence and discover the beautiful and precious depth of Life within you. And I hope you are also celebrating yourself by fully indulging in that which brings you joy and makes you laugh.

My deepest wish for you, for me, and indeed for all of us, is that we give ourselves permission to be our everyday wholeness , our natural and authentic self, and unabashedly present it to the world. And, because we love, accept and appreciate ourselves just as we are, just as we show up, we are also OK sharing ourselves with each other, warts and all…that we know we are more than enough and give ourselves away freely, joyously, like a child feeding a duck…that gentle compassion for ourselves ripples out creating a web of Love interweaving us all.

We can unite over our common human needs of wanting to be loved and accepted, to be able to thrive in life, and to contribute to others’ wellbeing. We are thus able to celebrate our differences, too, as they can enrich our lives creating a colorful tapestry for us all to shelter under. We are each such a gift…may we each unwrap that gift in each and every moment. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net 

12-14-20 I have a need for things (and people) to make sense. As time passes, I’m finding that things are making sense less and less (not just this year, although this year has certainly accentuated it). My frustrations reached a boiling point the other day and poor Stew bore the brunt of that. I realized I have choice, as always – I can either go on continuously being disappointed and baffled at the loss of logic and common sense, or I can turn my focus to that which I can always count on to make sense and remain constant. Love will always ground me into my heart’s wisdom and bring peace and clarity.

Love will always remind me to bring my gaze away from the outer experience and its “sufferings” and back to me. You see, the trick is in asking the right questions. When I ask, “Where is common sense?,”  I only seem to get answers with judgment and ridicule in them, that keep me shaking my head. When I ask, “What do I need to do for me…what will help me to get back to center…how do I get back to joy?” there is always a good answer waiting.

Two activities brought healing. First, a mental adjustment: I started looking at old pictures from my camera and there was our last trip to the ocean a year ago (in fact, amazingly it was our last trip anywhere). I slowly looked at each picture and re-immersed myself in the scene. Looking at my face then, I could feel the joy, lightness of Being and freedom now. Looking at the beach, I could feel the wind not so lightly rustling my hair…I could actually hear the waves crashing again. With each picture I was right there again and enjoying myself fully. Ahhhhh for a lovely vacation. With a big smile and a more relaxed body I went forward in my day.

Second, a physical adjustment to help move the energy: Usually when I do my exercise routine I put on music to help inspire me. Sometimes my exercise is to not do my regular routine but to simply dance to music, and I don’t mean the kind of dancing I might do in public (although to tell you the truth I dance pretty wildly in public, too). So I danced as crazy and silly as I could. No one was watching me and I could be a ballerina one moment, even a non-graceful one, and a swinging gorilla the next, matching the rhythm of the music. Wahoooo, life, love and celebration of everything that means.

So…things don’t make sense; they don’t have to. Choosing Love, however, always makes sense. What activities will you bring into your life today to help keep you asking the right questions? Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

12-1-20 Where there is life there is hope,” is a favorite saying of mine. It reminds me that no matter how bad I might be feeling in any given moment, as long as I am drawing breath I can change my world. That’s powerful! The Life in me has a wisdom that is implanted in every cell and given to me as a whole. That’s hopeful! I can access that wisdom any time I want, which means I can access Love all the time. In any given moment, I can choose thoughts that lift me up, empower me, strengthen me and give me a whole new perspective. Those thoughts open the door to a flood of more positive feelings which help me to feel good about myself, live my life in joy and feel more hopeful. Nothing’s changed in the outer world, in fact, it might even look dimmer, yet with hope everything changes within me.

Life imparts its wisdom to me in many ways. I quiet my mind to hear my heart’s wisdom as well as do many heart exercises in order to uncover mis-beliefs. I ask for guidance from my spirit helpers in meditation, from my power animals in shamanic journeys, and from my Reiki guides In healing sessions. I get chiropractic adjustments regularly to keep Life’s flow and message of wholeness and well-being unblocked. I observe and listen to Nature’s lessons constantly. I affirm my connection to all life through Universal Intelligence and specifically, its unique connection to me through Innate Intelligence.

Maybe your way is different, or maybe it’s even the same and we’re just calling it by different names. I honor that. The important thing for me is that we make a conscious choice to access this wisdom of everyday wholeness regularly, whether it is imparted to us by God, spirits, or our dog. We gain new perspectives, courage and the resilience to live from those insights. We become powerful co-creators of a new way to live in the world (or return to the old ways, if you prefer) – “powerful” here referring to being influential as a positive change for a society living as one, based on our original principle of interconnection of all life rather than dominance over all life. The latter leads to thinking you’re a victim and a constant struggle with life, separation and fear. The former leads to ease, trust, connection and Love, and being a catalyst for positive world change. Which do you choose? Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

11-23-20 When I reside in the sanctuary of my heart all is well. But some days are harder than others to do that, aren’t they?! All at once everything I’ve been “carrying” on my shoulders just felt too darn heavy. I’m always working on staying positive for myself and my family, and that just seems to feel more and more difficult. It also gets tiring trying to maintain the bridge between myself and friends that don’t share my belief system. And some friends who agree with my stance still argue with me since they don’t understand why I’m so militant about choosing to not be in the world if I have to wear a mask – they say I’m cutting off my nose to spite my face and I don’t have to be so alone. Thanksgiving, and trying to do it so all the family members needs could be met, brought more stress. And Thanksgiving, itself, is a whole topic unto itself for me, full of grief and deep deep sorrow for all the people who are struggling with it and /or making the decision to once again stay apart from the most important people in their lives. Finally, I started expressing physical symptoms which often seem to trigger fear in me and I have to work even harder to stay centered. Personally, working to stay centered is really what living in our everyday wholeness is all about, and I’d say it’s big aspect of what is happening in our world right now with the Covid virus.

My body felt old and tired and it was the last straw so to speak. I cried out from the depth of my heart, “I’m so tired of always struggling.” And then I felt the release and healing that comes with being honest and allowing myself to simply feel what I’m feeling. And that’s when I knew that there’s nothing to struggle against or even about. It all just served to show me that I was focusing on some wrong thoughts. Once again, I was spending too much energy on what seemed to be wrong rather than what is right.  It’s not me alone that is doing the work “trying” to stay positive and centered. Love is always sourcing me and when I connect with that energy, I gain the strength and wisdom of all Life and I have more resilience to be able to stay positive. Through Love, I connect to the heart of the multitudes of people who are standing in Love doing the same work, right now, all round the globe. From Love, I can even be bolstered by the energy of all the people throughout time/history who had to face difficulties and hardships standing for their principles against a majority of people who believed differently than they did. So, my most important job is to spend as much time as I can hanging around with Love, rooting out those places in mind’s dark and dusty corners where I’ve yet to let Love in. Then, wonder of wonders, it rubs off on me pretty darn good, and hey (and yay!), where did all that struggling disappear to? Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

11-18-20 Spoiler alert: the first paragraph contains some Hillary negative ranting. Oh my goodness there’s so much that doesn’t make sense to me, out in the world and closer to home, and it just keeps going on forever. The latest thing is that, apparently, my neighborhood’s water is contaminated with a bacteria and we need to boil our water. However, they waited 2 days before they told anyone. Here’s another one, the people in the United States are divided about so many things. Since we’re taking such drastic measures about the virus, why don’t we also close down convenience stores and fast-food joints and force people to eat healthier? Why don’t we make it mandatory for people to get adjusted regularly? Why don’t we teach our children how to meditate and settle conflicts peacefully when they’re young? For that matter, why don’t we tell our children that they are more than enough, and that they matter? And lastly I’ll lament that we seem to have forgotten that our thoughts make a difference and they matter in helping to create our well-being, both physically and mentally.

OK, now that I’ve given myself permission to get that out of my system, I choose to step into being strong again. It’s always the same solution for me…when I’m frustrated, tired, upset and confused by what I see going on around me, it’s time to go within. It’s time to get still and enter into the sanctuary of my heart. That’s when I let go of all the thoughts I have about what I am seeing that lead me into judgments about the all people involved in the actions I’m seeing, and I reside in Love. That’s where my resilience lives. That’s where I get re-charged. That’s where I can be the bridge to meeting others where they are when their beliefs differ from mine.

Rumi’s said, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” It sometimes feels very difficult to even think about stepping onto that field. But it’s one of the things I believe I came here to do. And that takes work. So, I’ll keep doing that work, doing whatever I need to return to my heart and let that truest voice speak through me. I’ll return to my heart as often as I need to, and I call that strength, not failure. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

11-10-20 I’ve got to admit I had been feeling a little low in my gas tank, feeling pretty isolated and hopeless.  Just in the nick of time Stew and I facilitated a workshop this past weekend, Healing for the Warriors. Not only did it give me the extra impetus to do my own inner work, I felt tremendously supported being part of this powerful group and inspired by everyone’s courage and willingness as they did their own healing work. With great hope, I look forward to our next one. So, I dedicate this piece to those 38 warriors, and to all warriors around the globe…we are not alone.

I, and others like you, around the globe, are rewriting the definition of what a warrior is. For thousands of years warriors have brought violence and chaos to our world. Now we stand as warriors for peace as we look around us and examine the principles we choose to live by.

As a warrior, I am willing to do the inner work necessary to connect with my heart in more of my moments so that I can love and accept myself (and all my pieces) more, so I can love and accept others more, even when I am having trouble accepting their choices. As a warrior, I hold the intention to heal myself first, so I can walk in everyday wholeness and be able to hold the possibility and vision of a world healed. When I live in warrior mode, I have all the resources available to me from within (Love being foremost, of course) and then I have the courage and strength I need to be honest with myself when I forget to walk a path of Love, and instead start to blame external situations, other people, and the world for things being fucked up and me being in a “bad” mood. It is more than OK for me as a warrior to feel my sorrow and pain, and in that compassion, I am able to see other folks’ pain, even when I disagree with their reasoning, and then I am a bridge for healing. And finally, I also know I don’t have to show up as “perfect” or I must be a certain way in order to be a warrior for peace. One of precepts of being a warrior, that I allow myself to be only my authentic self in every moment, that it’s OK to show my vulnerability and vital to ask for help from my support team.

And since I have done my inner work and I have access to my wholeness, I use both my anguish AND my joy; I am resilient and I continue to question both my thoughts and the world’s actions. I dare to speak out from my warrior’s truth as I walk my talk according to the values and principles I hold dear. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

11-4-20 Right now people in the United are holding their breath waiting for the results of our election. It’s a tense time with a lot of uncertainty about how “things” will be, based on who wins. However, regardless of that outcome, what I’m holding onto right now, and focusing on, is that, there is something within me that never changes. Life has created me in this body and will continue to do that magnificently as long as I am drawing breath. With each cycle of breath, the wisdom of my innate creation energy reminds me, I am connected to all Life. My consciousness of Be-ing has danced with the stars, flowed in the oceans and given birth all Life. For me, that creation energy is Love and it is always present with me, ready to help me navigate stormy weather, always sharing itself to help me be my best Self.

Regardless of what happens in the next moment, or with this election, as well as any other external situation,  I have the ability to choose Love or fear. I can choose thoughts that empower and uplift me. The resultant feelings associated with those thoughts will fill me with strength, hope and well-being. I can still dance, meditate, do yoga, curl up with a good book, revere nature, look around with brand-new eyes, and do what is mine to do with the joy of a child feeding a duck. I can love, serve, and be present. I can be the change I wish to see in the world. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

10-26-20 Once again I’ve had to face the “F” word…yes, forgiveness. It has such a bad rap – when I think about it, it seems so overwhelming to accomplish but when I actually do it, I uncover a completely different side to it. Perhaps we could rename the word “freedom”…or “lightness of being”…or “deep intimacy with self which leads to celebration time?” The latter might be too long of an actual word but all of those renamings are exactly what happens for me when I engage in forgiveness work. Maybe the best renaming for me might be “giving myself Love”.

The other day when I was with my family, I did something I felt bad about. While for them it was simply a behavior that was a blip in the moment but had no bearing on how they saw or thought of me, it had a deeper meaning for me. In fact, I took it to mean that I had ruined a perfectly wonderful day, and thus I was embarrassed and ashamed, which of course meant I was also unlovable.  Wow! I know I’m not alone in taking one action, that one moment of time where I acted as less than my best self, and then took that to mean I was absolutely and completely worthless and less than deserving of all the good Life has to offer - forever!

Because my family has created a safe container in which we can do our self-work, be vulnerable with each other and share honestly, it thankfully didn’t take forever for me to share what was going on inside my head and the reason I was acting out. And once again, through allowing my feelings their voice rather than condemning and stifling them I found the way to everyday wholeness. Happily, through all my self-work, I’ve overcome my tendency to avoid yucky feelings, because, while they initially feel horrible even to the point where I might feel physically sick,  they always shine a light on something that needs healing, This time it showed me an old pattern of thinking that I was buying into that I need to be perfect in order to be loved. I have forgiven myself for this many times already, but I have found that forgiveness work is ongoing and continuous, especially since old belief systems have a nasty habit of sneaking back in. Yet I don’t mind doing the work of forgiving myself over and over, especially when I’ve renamed it as giving myself Love. Why wouldn’t I want to keep doing that kind of work? And then it’s not work at all but a deep joy that has me falling in love with myself over and over. That’s when I remember that I AM perfect, worthy and deserving just the way I come, in all my humanness with all its accompany mistakes, moments of acting out, being less than my best self, and messiness. Through forgiveness – through giving myself unconditional love and acceptance – I live everyday from my wholeness, more able to serve out in the world and to enjoy the full gifts of Life and that is certainly celebration time. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

9-30-20 Transforming regrets, part 2. It is really important that those of us in “authority” jobs, where we take care of others, especially in the health field, walk our talk. I have written elsewhere in these posts that, although I am guided to share my wisdom with you, I truly thank you because what I write for you is always intended for me first.

In my last post I was writing about what I had re-learned about making sure I have no regrets when it is my turn to shed this earth suit. I am proud that I have done a good job of that. And yet, right after I wrote the piece there was something nibbling away at me, that said perhaps I had one more bit of amends to make...an old friendship that had been torn asunder. ‘Being right” is so sneaky. Here I am knowing that I know that I know that in any situation EACH person IS right (that they each did what was right for them), and it takes both sides to create conflict, yet I had to admit that I was still allowing myself to blame them for the breakup. It is amazing to me how I prove to myself time and time again how invested I am in being right and how it disguises itself from me (because it also knows how important it is to me not to make others wrong). So, with those thoughts nibbling away at my outer defenses, I meditated on it all further. And I opened up to a deeper truth of what had happened. Yes, my feelings about it were all valid yet I had to admit that what I did with those feelings, how I reacted to them in the moment, quite possibly had indeed contributed to our no longer being friends. While it might, ultimately, have changed nothing, reacting in anger and hurt usually doesn’t keep the door open to peace and healing. So, if for no other reason, I felt an apology was due for that.

Saying I’m sorry seems to be extremely difficult for many of us. Perhaps it’s because being right is so tied into our identity. Perhaps we believe that if we apologize, we’ll be diminished somehow, that we’ll be revealed as less than perfect. Oh my, but it’s just the opposite! The act of becoming humble in that way requires so much strength and courage. I felt so vulnerable and unsettled after I sent out the apology, and yes, I cried off and on through the day as I also realized, that then, after releasing the other people of blame, I really wanted to shoulder the blame myself. “How could I have done that...been so blind?” Once again, there was an opportunity for me to wrap the loving arms of compassion around myself and be gentle.  And then, the cherry on top - in willing to be honest and reconcile with myself how I might have wanted to do or say something differently than I did, I felt so much freer and lighter and more in touch with my everyday wholeness. Celebration time as another layer of self-built walls around my heart was melted and more of my heart wisdom was revealed. If you read the last piece and liked it, but it didn’t really stir you to take action, I hope this one does. We are peace warriors, and we are more than enough to do whatever it takes to live our lives from everyday wholeness. We all deserve to live our dreams and thrive. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

9-24-20 Quite a few years ago I started doing a year’s study of “Living Well Dying Well” with my shamanic drum group. I have spent my life living chiropractically (which for me means a holistic approach to my well-being and health), starting out as a spiritual midwife attending births, and, now that I am older myself, and know more people dying, it seems natural to study death with the goal of being a spiritual midwife on this part of the cycle of life. It seems obvious to me that society’s present approach to death is part of the world-wide problem we have all found ourselves in. Most of us are uncomfortable about the topic, don’t talk about it, and rarely see it anymore, which seems to have translated into death no longer being a part of the natural life cycle and therefore a belief we should all live forever and take drastic means to ensure that happens. For me, health and well-being (on all levels) is an inside-out job. This leads me to learn how to live my life to the fullest right now, as healthily as possible, so that when it is my time to go, I will be able to face it with as much ease, courage, strength and love as I live now.

I just listened to a workshop and I was reminded that what often holds a dying person back from being able to easily release this life are their regrets over said and unsaid conversations, and unforgiveness still around that (whether between the people or just that the dying person holds on themself). Through the years, I have worked hard to be honest with myself, live by the motto I’d rather be loving than right, and yet, often, that was so hard for me because I felt so strongly about whatever it was and believed I was so right. At the same time, I deeply believe that peace in the world starts with me so I can be “right” but it greatly matters how I receive the other person’s different belief and how kindly and respectfully I share my own. So, yes, I’ve had a lot of practice in making amends to people after the fact. I found that difficult, too, and it took a lot of self-work and will, reminding myself of the intention of how I wanted to live and be in each moment. And oh my goodness it worth it...it was always so freeing!

I want to ultimately be able to face my death unafraid, as free as possible without guilt or regret, having known joy, and given myself fully and wholeheartedly away. So I’m going to take another introspective look today and see if there is anyone else to whom I need to make amends (including myself). I’m want to free myself up even more and make more room for joy. Care to join me in your own soul search? Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

9-17-20 So I declared (in my last communique) that I would be strong, positive, and focus on the good. And I did feel strong and positive...until I didn’t. Can you relate? We’ve all experienced where, perhaps we come back from a workshop, seminar, or class, all inspired, and we get to that exciting moment ready to be our fullest self. Then we hit the next moment...and falter. We let our doubts and insecurities take the forefront again, and we hit a wall. For myself, I have experienced that “falter” often throughout my life. The continued self-work I do is what gets me moving in a forward direction, because despite my doubts, I have filled myself up on how wonderful I am, how much I have to give, how I am more than enough to do what is mine to do. Affirming that way did feel awkward to me in the beginning, accompanied as it was by such thoughts as, “Who am I to...”. Happily, I had a lot of good teachers surrounding and reminding me that my small, limiting thoughts about myself weren’t true.

Right now, experiencing doubts about myself again, I hope to be that same inspiration to you, (and myself). We ALL have gifts to share. We’ve all had a life that is ours alone, and no one else in the entire uni-verse has experienced what we have, through our unique filters. There is always someone out there waiting to receive our gift...there is always someone who can immensely benefit from our sharing of ourself. I have found that when I share from everyday wholeness, in other words, when I share from the all of me - my mistakes, my pain, my tears, my sorrows and regrets as well as my triumphs, my celebrations, my passions, and my wisdom -  we all benefit from a richer experience. So, right now I will do what I have learned to do – I embrace all that I am by both honoring that part of me that wants to crawl under the blankets and that part that wants to serve the world. I consciously allow and honor the part of me that feels doubtful by not stifling her voice, and seeing what she has to teach me, while at the same time I bring forward that stronger, courageous part of me to surround that needy little kid within me in compassion, acceptance and understanding. Being brave doesn’t mean we don’t have any fear or doubts or resistance. Rather we recognize it, see what it’s showing us about where we need healing and then move thru it. Aho to that. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

9-14-20 These past few weeks, lots of folks (at least in the western United States), are using the word “apocalypse” when they look out the window. It sure looks that way. Depending on how close to the fires you are, the skies are either red-orange or weirdly gray. The public lands all around here have once again been shut down for use for safety reasons, and there’s hardly any cars on the road. It looks and feels pretty eerie. Thousands have been evacuated, many of lost homes, some have lost lives. That, coupled with this past week of me living with and caretaking my mother-in-law, Trudy, as we searched for home help for her, has me thinking of the privilege of life.

It is true that Trudy has lost much control over her life and daily activities, and sometimes just thinking, or doing daily activities seems extremely difficult for her. Nonetheless, she is still able to be home right now and not in “prison” (as we call Assisted Living).  And yet she still chooses to focus only on being miserable. I, too, make that same choice so often, even though I know that, regardless of my circumstances, I can always choose to focus on something positive and uplifting that will help make my present situation feel and seem better. It’s so easy for me to fall into the habit of whining, complaining, and blaming my circumstances for my attitude and labeling things as hard based on an external focus. No more!! I am in charge of what thoughts I allow into my consciousness.

And so, I have been reminding myself, that my anxious, ungrounded and fearful feelings are based on future thinking of what could happen. In this very moment I am not in danger...I am safe. Yes, it often seems hard lately to stay positive, and, yes, my resilience is already low, but I refuse to allow myself to get away with either of those excuses. I declare my strength of mind and will and I know I am capable of making better choices of thought for myself right now! I give myself compassion for the inconveniences and discomfort I am experiencing, even as I keep it all in perspective. There are SO MANY folks who have to endure hardships day after day, living at a survival level, and that’s the norm for them.

So I choose to look around and see what’s good. Again, sometimes I forget and I take so many things for granted, and yet they are a privilege. I am healthy. I have access to clean drinking water and healthy food when so many don’t. I have shelter, with electricity and heat, and assorted toys in and outside my home. I feel physically safe when I go out my doors to do whatever and go wherever. I have a car to get around, actually I have 2! I have access to nature and beauty. Having the basics of life to survive is huge...living a life where I am thriving is enormous!

Things are so crazy on the outside and I can let them drag me downward into a spiral of negativity, fear and hopelessness or I can use the fleeting, or not so fleeting as the case may sometimes be, hardships of life to remind me to say thank you for the gift of my glorious life often. I will look for the often-hidden wonders and magic around every corner. In all moments I can choose to look for what’s good and beautiful, for what brings me joy, and what helps me be and stay strong. From this moment on, I declare I will no longer entertain complaining, whining, and feeling sorry for myself, choosing to uplift myself, everyone around me, and the world through positive thought, word, and deed. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

9-8-20 I just finished watching the movie, “Glory”, (well worth it but a hard watch). The corporal knows he has a pretty good chance of dying. Before he makes that final move, he pauses to gaze at the peaceful ocean scene with the geese flying overhead. He drinks it all in and the most tender expression of peace settles onto his face. As he looks at life for maybe the last time, the audience experiences with him how to just be fully present with the moment of beauty (no matter what else may happen), and how that’s enough.

What if we all looked at life through those eyes, in every moment and with each person we’re with, even when its someone we’re not getting along with, or agreeing with. That face could very well be the last face we ever see on earth. What if we all remembered that life is such a gift and precious because it’s finite. From whatever the cause. There are so many ways to leave this world, sometimes it’s drawn out and expected, other times immediate and unexpected. Sometimes death takes 1 life, other times many. It’s hard, no matter what, and my heart goes out to each person who has had to say goodbye to a loved one.

Right now, in my part of the world there’s a lot of other worrying things to add to the mix. There are fires raging throughout my entire state, with people running for their lives, losing their homes. Further from the epicenters, it’s hard to breathe from the smoke and public lands are shut down again for fire prevention. And in other parts of the world, the presence of death is a lot more familiar, being especially true depending on your skin color and where you live in the world. Death is a fact of life, yet most of us choose to ignore that fact rather than allowing the awareness of that truth to be a gift in itself.

So, a big question: do we focus on life and live it in all its joys (and sorrows), or do we worry about the possibility of death, and thereby give up the gifts of life? Can be we embrace life with a more open heart, saying thank you for the gift more often through more positive thoughts, words and deeds. Can we refuse to give in to and entertain despair and worry (word?). And yes, fear comes around often, because we live in an earth suit. Yet we can stare it down with courage. We can stand in our power, sing only life’s praises at the top of our lungs and focus on what brings us hope in our mind, strength of heart, and well-being of body. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

8-25-20 Wow it’s been a month?!! Have you missed me? I’ve been doing a lot of great hiking, but that’s not the excuse. My daughter’s been visiting, but that’s not my excuse. There’s been worry-some fires erupting all around us, but that’s not the excuse either. Bottom line, I guess I just didn’t want to. I find excuses are pretty prevalent and I’m not a big fan of them. There are definitely good excuses for (not doing) things, but generally I find that people use them as a way to feel better about themselves and not take responsibility for their actions. Anyway, that said, it’s not really the thrust of what I want to say here, but it might bear reflection.

Not feeling motivated might also bear reflection. Have you noticed that it’s hard to motivate yourself to do all the things you want to do, intended to do, or used to love to do? Depending on what you ARE doing, or how you used to do your life that could be a good thing or a bad thing. Some of us have a tendency to overdo our lives (racing around from one busy thing to the next); some of us are over-caring for others (investing too much time trying to fix and/or take care of everybody else);  others are working at a “job” with a mission to serve others. When we are constantly putting out energy, it can be very healing to slow down and focus on absolutely nothing except ease and joy. Sometimes it’s more than OK to let go of things we’ve intended to do for a while (like me posting on this page) and just be.

Learning to follow our heart is always healing and leads to everyday wholeness. When we stop and pause in this way, we might discover that our doings were full of shoulds or that we were actually “doing good badly.” And, we might also discover that slowing down is a way to feel what we’re feeling, and see what’s going on under the surface of our doing. For me, I realized I needed a period of mourning. So, even though I intended to write my column every few days I gave myself permission to let it go because it no longer felt like my joy to do (that was my heart talking to me even though I didn’t realize it at the time). I have been doing lots of valuable things, like enjoying life wholeheartedly. sometimes laughing and other times crying, whether at rivers, lakes, in my bed, or my backyard. This is my way of loving myself and listening to my heart. It doesn’t mean I was broken but rather living in everyday wholeness.

I invite you to indulge in your own pause now and then, give yourself the space to hear what you heart is saying, honor your feelings and needs, and renew and recharge yourself however that might look for you. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

8-3-20 I was talking about abundance with a young friend. The times feel a little tough for everyone these days, and when you’re worried about finances it adds even more stress to the mix. My friends, abundance is not just about what you have (or don’t) in your bank account. It’s not measured by the quantity and/or price of the possessions you own. Rather, abundance is a state of consciousness. Often, people tell me they have lots of stuff and are afraid of losing it, or they keep acquiring more stuff because what they have is not enough. Even more important, many folks don’t believe they are “enough” (as in good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough – this could be a long list despite having lots of money and material goods).

Twenty-five years ago my husband and I were struggling financially. We were told by our mentor to start tithing (donating 10% of our income) to where we were spiritually fed or to causes we believed in. At first, we said, “How can we do this, we’re not making enough money?” As we studied true abundance, however, and worked on our thoughts around it, our abundance consciousness grew. We found it is indeed true that what you put out returns to you many-fold. The more we affirmed that we were one with the flow of Life, and that abundant Life was always sourcing us, we came to believe more and more that we could never deplete ourselves or what we had by giving ourselves away and sharing with the world from our fullness. As we practiced what we believed, the proof was in the pudding... “all of a sudden” we were living abundant lives evidenced by how we were feeling about ourselves, what we were accomplishing in our work lives and how successful our lives, in general, had become.

Let’s stop telling ourselves lies about how small we are – let our greatness flow out in all ways. Let’s stop hoarding:

---our stuff; it feels sooooo good to share

---our smiles, even if it can’t be seen under a mask, or whether or not someone else is wearing a mask

---our acceptance; one day we’ll be needing someone else’s acceptance

---our forgiveness; life is just too damn short.

 Let’s stop stifling:

---our generous thoughts and actions despite what our inner critic might say

---our imperfections; they’re part of our everyday wholeness and how we learn.

Let’s stop limiting ourselves based on what the outside might look like. Inside we are unlimited, vast, wide open spaces of love and connection, more than enough to create our best and greatest life. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

7-24-20 One of my clients was distressed that although they’ve done much personal work, they still had the same bad habit, a certain negative pattern in their thinking. I shared that after 30+ years of working on myself I notice the same thing. Sorry, old habits don’t change or die HOWEVER, it is definitely possible to add on layers of other, more positive, habits. This has the benefit of turning the original thoughts and “bad” habit into an ally. Now, it is like I have this wonderful alarm clock inside my head saying, “Wake up...make a different choice.” I’ve created space between my thoughts after years of meditation, and I am now able to notice what kinds of thoughts are leading me around by the nose and break up the runaway train that has me heading down a track I don’t want to revisit. So, rather than despairing because I’m redoing the pattern, I can gently and lovingly choose a more uplifting path for myself.

For instance, I sometimes make disparaging remarks to my beloved, which hurt him. I learned to do disparaging remarks as a fine art at a very young age. It also used to take me hours to admit when I was wrong, in which time something tiny would boil up into a mighty tornado. I used to choose this old path because I thought if I spoke loudly enough, I wouldn’t get stepped on, and that’s a good thing. But now that I‘m much more conscious of that hurtful pattern, I can choose to share what’s important to me and ask for what I need in a manner that respects everyone, in this case me and Stew.

Now, happily, when my friend the alarm clock goes off, I can ask myself, “Am I just tired and habitually going down an old groove? Was I hurt by something Stew said or did and I’m reacting in kind? Am I unconsciously needing something - perhaps connection or relaxation or fun -  that I’m not asking for? When I’m in the middle of “I’m doing it again” thoughts – which usually lead to beating myself up and hating myself – I can now examine the pattern with authenticity and honesty and ask myself questions. That all helps me to weave everyday wholeness from all my thoughts, whether I label them “good” or “bad.” Then I’m operating under what’s right with me, rather than what’s wrong with me. Then Life is working is working FOR me, rather than against me. It’s a good scheme. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

7-22-20 Another of the many things that I do to keep my energy tank full is a weekly “Couple exercise” with my beloved, where we ask ourselves a question, and then honestly and vulnerably share our answers. We just reread one from 7 years ago that inspired me all over and I hope it inspires you, too. Perhaps it will also give you a little nudge in writing up your own list. Asking myself, “What Do I Know?”  was a great question to help me get back into my heart and stay positive and focused on what’s true, rather than identify with the thoughts in my head that deplete me. What follows is my answer, from 7 years ago, as well as some additions from the present. They are in no particular order...

I am kind, patient, giving... when it feels like everything is going wrong, I can just as easily remember that every moment is FOR me and an opportunity to make a choice for Love...I have great strength within me to help me live my deepest intentions and be what I am in truth...I am deeply nurtured and loved by Stew and my love for him is deeper, wider than any stupid thoughts I might momentarily entertain AND I choose to remember that it’s still true whenever we quarrel about stuff (especially the unimportant stuff)...when I stop, get present, look beyond what I think I see (about someone) I always feel love, compassion and oneness...I am happy, my life is a dream...I love me, and I’m wonderful, even if I have “off” moments...I am not alone even when I think I am...when I connect heart to heart (with the other person) there is always a solution...it’s OK to feel sad...it’s OK to feel joy...I always feel better, more hopeful, and inspired when I go outside...I can create what I want/need right where I am...I can stop the runaway train thoughts and bring peace to all my moments...this moment is joy. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

7-15-20 Right now, there’s a tremendous amount of uncertainty and I’m sure we are all still experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions processing through every day...I know I do. Very often, though, we choose not to feel what we ‘re feeling because we think it’ll break us in two if we do. But when we don’t, feelings often wind up sneaking out in less than positive ways. They often disguise themselves as ongoing anxiety or restlessness or impatience and anger. It’s true many things are out of our control. What we can control is our response to each moment. Being resilient and calling forth our strength and staying in a peaceful consciousness is ALWAYS within our power. When we face our feelings, we are flexing our resilience muscle, and it feels really freeing. Then we get to feel powerful, too, because we’ve proved to ourselves we are stronger than we think or sometimes feel we are.

I am reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy aloud for Stew and me. I can so relate to Frodo when he says he wishes he was safe back in the Shire and not living amidst the dark times that he is. And then I hear Gandalf’s reply resonating in every cell of my body. “So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.”  Wow! And so I decide, moment by moment....to reside in Love, no exceptions, to face my feelings and find compassion for myself and others, to shine my light. This is the one thing I can do...this is my strength. And when I don’t feel strong enough and I forget, I let myself cry, feel compassion for myself, which opens my heart so I can feel compassion for others, and once again, I stand in Love. This is also my strength – to return to love as often as I need to, no matter how many times I stray!

I believe in you, that you, too, have this power and resilience within you. That, you, too, are strong enough to return to Love as often as you need to and can shine your light no matter what. You, too, are the hope of the world. Thanks for being you...you’re amazing. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

7-9-20 Most days, whatever the season, I am outside for a good portion of the day. I feel so free and joyful when I am communing with all life in that nature way. Summer is a time of indulging my inner child and therefore, doing things that bring me great joy and help me to feel more lightness of being, more awake and present, with dashes of delight and awe thrown in. Summer is especially lovely with its flowers, waters of all kinds to immerse in and way less clothes to wear in which to enjoy it all. Although it occurs to me if it was wintertime I’d be writing about indulging in joy, too, but in different ways. The point is, indulging in at least 1 moment of what brings us joy is essential for living in everyday wholeness. I invite you to create your own list and put 1 thing a day on your calendar. This isn’t being selfish, either – it is essential that we make time in our day for what nurtures us, what helps build our resilience, and for what is truly important. Hint: Joy can also be experienced when we spend 5 minutes connecting with our heart in a joy-filled memory. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

7-5-20 You might have noticed I haven’t written much lately. I hadn’t felt very inspirational, and indeed, was more thinking along the lines of, “everything is f**g crazy, (more than usual, even in the past few months) – and, sorry, every now and then my Brooklyn truck driver comes out). And so, of course, I was feeling that way, too. Regardless of all the meditating and positive thinking I’d been doing, I realized there were still way too many moments of my day when I was entertaining crazy thoughts. Basically, I was entertaining thoughts that had me validating I was right (about everything or anything, as the case may be) yet that still didn’t make me any happier. Can you relate? It sometimes just feels like way too much to keep working to maintain the peace and positivity within my own head when everything around me seems so chaotic and not OK.

I find it healing to periodically examine my thoughts, especially when I’m feeling this way. I just have to summon my courage and be vulnerable. With practice I am happy to say it can feel very gentle and not at all like beating up on myself.  I lovingly say, “OK, so I let down my guard for a while and gave in to negativity or despair (or whatever is my choice for the moment - and yes, sometimes it’s for a longer while, and that doesn’t matter, either).”

And you know what, that’s all it has to be, a simple noticing. We don’t have to stay in the “bad” place, because frankly, that’s exhausting too, and often feels a lot worse in the long run. We often shame ourselves for not always being strong, when, in reality, that is not authentic or part of our wholeness. We notice where we are in our consciousness and we can make a different choice, right then and there, end of story. We can choose to focus on something different than what is making us miserable...we can put our attention on our heart and what is good, beautiful and true is always present whenever we look for it. We then get to celebrate our courage, that we are breaking a habit, and that we can do so with deep self-love. Yahoo, celebration time!

And here’s my personal celebration: Stew and I put together a “12 Days to Your Heart” challenge that gives people the tools and practice to make going to their heart easy and habitual, even in stressful times. So, following my own good advice I went back to my heart...my home...my safe place, and I am once again feeling strong and vigorously in love with life! And I am also celebrating Stew and me, and our achievement, for putting this challenge out to the world. I feel so proud that I am doing my little bit to help change the world one heart at a time, and that one heart is rapidly spreading to many as we hold the vision for a billion hearts to soon be joined together in this practice.

And I am definitely celebrating all the folks who have been courageous enough to join us so far. So many of you shared with us how very powerful doing the 12 Days was and we were blessed with many inspiring stories of how your lives are changing. Never doubt that you make a difference EVERY time you go to your heart...every time you make a choice to be gentle and love yourself a little more...every time you fill yourself up on that everflowing good Love...and every time you send love out to the world from that full of peace and love, everyday wholeness place. You are all the lightbringers, the light houses, the beacons of love, and I love and appreciate all of you. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

6-23-20 I wasn’t able to do a big hike I’d planned yesterday as I am on day 4 of tending a hurting Achilles tendon. So, I’m feeling cranky. Still, it seems as if I don’t have the “right” to be cranky...I “shouldn’t” be, based on all my blessings. Sound familiar? It doesn’t help to tell ourselves what we should or shouldn’t feel, does it? Our feelings are always legitimate and deserve to be honored. Mine were telling me I needed some love and compassion and, while I couldn’t go hiking, I certainly could be gentler with myself in my acceptance of that, and remember there was something else I could do that would help me to feel better. Being cranky had me feeling (and believing) that I was a victim. Honoring my feelings and doing something to help myself feel better empowered me. Regardless of what is going on, I am always in charge of my peace of my mind.

And telling myself I shouldn’t feel what I feel because I have a good life only makes me feel worse...and guilty. Telling myself things like that also keeps me in my head. Nothing is ever solved in my head, although I was right in telling myself I have a good life. But I needed to get into my heart with it. So, I started my gratitude list (and honestly, it was very grudgingly at first) but I didn’t just rattle things off. I thought about each one and FELT what it meant to me deep inside, letting my heart open. Being in our hearts is always the solution. Then we are connected to our everyday wholeness that will help us see things from a different perspective, from which we can then respond more positively to whatever is going on. OK, now I can go back to remembering that life is healing me, from the inside out, and my negative thoughts won’t interfere with that. Oh, and a dip in the river didn’t hurt...yup, I am blessed to have rivers around here that I barely have to walk to. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

6-17-20 Happy Birthday Ari! It was my birthing day 32 years ago (well, yesterday by now), and Arielle Faye Bittman was born after 4 days of travail, exhaustion, and tears. Despite the fact that the actual birth didn’t turn out as I’d envisioned, I knew it was a good creation because Love was present. And Love was the foundation through which all the dreams, intentions and focus for this creation were manifested.

Do you know that every moment of your life is a birthing for you? Very often, if we’re not paying attention, we won’t know what we are creating until the future, when we might realize we’re experiencing a less than joyous life. Happily, the more “work” we do (and I’d prefer to call it, “consciously living in our joy”) the quicker we notice what we are creating for ourselves. Every single thought we entertain creates a ripple effect, and combined with a multitude of similar thoughts, they influence our life. When we are being especially negative and/or judgmental in our thoughts, we struggle and resist what is, and physical issues often follow. If we know this, and we recognize we’re in a “bad” or stuck phase of our life, it’s not about blaming ourselves and making ourselves feel even worse as we say, “I must be so stupid, my “stinkin’ thinking” must have caused this.” Stop right there...we don’t want those thoughts creating anything in our future. No, my brave wonderful warriors, it’s more about remembering how powerful we are, and that we can always choose a different thought, a more empowering – courageous - uplifting - loving thought, in response to whatever consciousness, or situation, we find ourselves in. When we get ourselves centered in Love it’s always a good creation. That is the tipping point!  That is the birth of a new consciousness! That is the birth of a new direction, a new life full of hope and unlimited possibilities and glorious celebration of Self and being alive and sharing our gifts and all of us thriving together! Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

6-10-20 Mahatma Gandhi told us, “My life is my message.” He walked his talk and I have always tried to live that way, in a manner that treads lightly on the earth, reveres nature, and celebrates all the different forms of life on the planet. For me, that means recognizing that I don’t have to live in the biggest house, have a new wardrobe every year, or have all the toys that might make my life easier (although that is debatable).

Around the world, millions are protesting a system that has inequality, injustice and domination as a part of its make-up. Whether we realize it or not, we all, myself included, help to perpetuate such a system. I invite you, in whatever part of the globe you live, to examine your choices. Is there something you are willing to “give up” so that perhaps you are not contributing to perpetuating a global system of inequality, slavery, and poverty? Our everyday choices affect others, sometimes adversely, that live halfway around the planet from us. These choices are also often not in the best interests of a healthy planet. Some examples might be to examine our coffee habit, our food and clothing choices, or our buying habits in general. Of course, the thoughts we have behind these choices are worth examining as well. “Do I really need this _______ for my happiness?” “How much is enough?” which then might lead to “Am I enough? What do I fill my life up with in order to feel more valued?” I’m not saying it’s not OK to have stuff, I’m just hoping we do it perhaps a little more consciously.

Life can be pretty simple, yet fulfilling, when we fill it up from the inside out with Love, with celebrating ourselves, with knowing we matter just as we show up, and that we make a difference just by being ourselves. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

6-3-20 It was my birthday a few days ago, and due to the recent police violence and subsequent protesting happening it felt very weird to celebrate. Happily, my family reminded me of many things I’ve said in the past which I’ll now share with you: It doesn’t help anyone or anything to ever stifle our joy. In fact, that is exactly what kind of healing energy the world needs most in those circumstances. So we did a meditation for the world, which I invite you to participate in now. If you are comfortable outside, that would be best. Stay with each part as long as you choose, but I would strongly urge that you don’t skip over the more difficult parts of the meditation. What follows is the bare bones, so as you think about the words and expand them for yourself, take the time to really feel it and make it real for yourself:

Open up to the life all around you and how this planet nurtures us and takes care of our needs. Visualize this as a violet glow encircling the planet in Love. Feel yourself in this circle of Love, grounded and heart-centered, safe, strong, experiencing your well-being.  Call forth and feel the joy of your life, and all you have to be grateful for...Now let your heart expand even more as you think of your loved ones, how much they love and support you. See them joining you in the circle as you send them love and appreciation, too, celebrate them, seeing them thriving in the world and experiencing well-being...Now think about the people you don’t really know but see all the time, like in the grocery store, or post office. You don’t have to know their names or exact faces, just see them joining you in the circle wishing for them to thrive as well, in well-being...Next, bring to mind someone you either love or care about now, or used to love and care about, yet have conflicted or angry thoughts about right now. Bring them into the circle, holding good thoughts for them, and seeing them experiencing peace and joy in their lives...Going deeper into the connection of all of us being in this together, living together in harmony, bring to mind someone you aren’t as invested in or don’t even know but still have feelings of strong animosity towards (anyone you label as “other” or “them” or believe they have done wrong) and see them joining the circle, too. Say to yourself, “Just like me this person has within them the yearning to feel safe, to know love, to live a meaningful life.  I see the energy of Love that is the Source of each one of us working through this person now and this person becomes a vital part of this circle of Love”...

Finally, into the circle of Love you’ve just created, bring in all the groups of people that are often marginalized and/or victimized due to age, gender, sexual choices, religion, ethnicity, color, politics, education, income level, and creed. See ALL beings in the circle of Love...Each of us sharing in the bounty of life, thriving, having all that we need for well-being of life...Each of us knowing we matter and that we make a difference...Each of us celebrated for who we are, the differences we bring, and the similarities we share...Each of us part of the whole. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

5-28-20 Death has been much in the news lately, perhaps we should talk about it. In an earlier post I’d mentioned the Buddhist life-long tradition of contemplating one’s own death in order to live life better, more fully. There is so much wisdom in that. Stew and I do weekly exercises for a similar reason, to examine our life both personally and as a couple in order to see how well we’re doing, celebrate that, and also see how we can do better. One of our most meaningful exercises was to ask ourselves how we would feel if the other died. This had so many benefits. First off, we realized that we are so precious to each other. And that, unfortunately, and quite ridiculously, we don’t always treat each other as if we remembered that. What a gift! Bringing it into our awareness helps us bring that knowing forward so we can make different choices in the future.

What if this was indeed the last day on earth for a loved one. I bet every one of us would have regrets - that we didn’t always let them know how loved and appreciated they were, that we felt blessed to have them in our life, that we specifically liked this and that about them. Now is a great time to start cutting down on those regrets.

What if this was indeed the last day on earth for us – how would we be remembered? Would it be any different than we want to be remembered? Now is a great time to start acting in that way. And it doesn’t mean “perfectly”, but honestly, vulnerably, authentically. Look up the definitions if you don’t know what they might mean for you...see if it resonates. What words do? That’s one of the first things Stew and I do when mentoring people. It’s important to know our values, and how we want to live, so that when we die, we can reflect back in peace, knowing t was a life well lived. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

5-25-20 I’ve been very lucky living in Lake Tahoe, having had ample wonderful places to wander, meander and hike these last few months, yet when 2 of my favorite areas were re-opened to the public this past week I was thrilled. I’ve visited both places multiple times already and it felt like it was all brand new, as if I had never seen any of it before. Buddhists would call this “beginner’s mind”, which means exactly that -  to come to whatever you are engaged in, even when it is something you are an ‘expert’ at, or have done or seen a million times before, as if you are first learning it or seeing it. That’s how I felt while walking in the woods that we know like the back of our hand – we know where to go to visit our favorite trees, see where certain flowers are blooming, or check on whether the osprey babies are fledging – and still I was a giddy baby and it was my very first walk in the woods ever! Beginner’s mind lets you be with the moment, just as it is, exactly as it presents itself, which is especially helpful when we are in relationship with others, which is all the time.

I always hold beginner’s mind as an intention for myself, and even though I’ve practiced, practiced, practiced, it’s still often difficult.  We tend to act from our deeply ingrained habits based on stagnant filters and we walk around unconsciously reacting and doing life. Sadly, how we interact with others, especially those we are in intimate relationship with or, on the other hand, those we are having difficulties with, is too often based on our preconceived notions formed from the past. We might even get an instant dislike to someone we’ve never met before, or simply miss noticing their gifts, because they triggered an unconscious response within us based on someone or something else that has nothing at all to do with them. That is a perfect and sad example of definitely not having a beginner’s mind.

We deserve to engage in life from the fullness of our being so we can enjoy the full gifts Life has to offer us, whether we’re alone, with others, inside our homes or out in nature. It’s such a wonderful giving and receiving of everyday wholeness! Beginner’s mind is just one tool that can help us learn to live in the present moment, to live in joy.  Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

5-19-20 THIS POST ISN’T NECESSARILY ABOUT INSPIRATION/WHOLENESS...IT’S JUST WHAT IS ALIVE ON MY HEART RIGHT NOW: If you know me, you (hopefully) know I’m fairly intelligent, I care about people deeply, I’ve never  before been labelled right-wing, and while I (publicly) admit to often wanting to be right (as opposed to wrong), I’m also known to be able to work past that and be compassionate, honest and fair. Based on all that, I’m hoping that, although we might have very different viewpoints on this virus issue, you also might consider continuing to read, especially as there are undoubtedly people you’ve considered to be friends who disagree with you right now, and their reasons for disagreeing might not be what you think.

I think this is all about being and feeling safe. Naturally, we want to be safe, we want those we love and care about to be safe, we want the more vulnerable populations to be safe (of course, there are a lot of vulnerable populations that have been endangered by these policies, who are just as worth protecting, my heart cries out). But the truth is, living in a body is not safe. Death happens, sometimes very abruptly, and even unfairly. We seem to be living in a violent world and it’s definitely more violent (and unfair) for certain populations than for others.  Accidents happen randomly and abruptly. Wars wipe out entire generations and populations. Nobody wants to die. I’ve spent quite a few years now doing a Buddhist practice of contemplating my death so I can live more of the life I choose, and even so, sometimes I have fear surrounding my dying and I recognize that I still want to cling to this life. This life is so precious, such a gift. There has always been and always will be something “out there” to be afraid of, yet, I am more afraid to live in a world where everyone is afraid - of the world...of the life in it that yes, sometimes manifests as colds, flus, viruses...of other people who might be the carriers of something. I am afraid to live in a world where friends have become enemies because of our different beliefs and opinions. I am afraid to live in a world where it is more normal to go without touch, and hugs, and to wear masks where I can’t see a smile or have trouble hearing a kind word and people don’t look in your eye, where it is more normal to not trust in these marvelous bodies of ours, that are so much stronger than we give them credit for, especially when we keep them strong and healthy and our minds filled with positive thots and love. I am afraid of people giving up their freedoms so easily because we are afraid and don’t trust our bodies and the world, etc. I understand fear, though. I have been very afraid and I lash out, and don’t think as clearly. We all respond to fear differently and do what we think is best accordingly. For myself, I am working on accepting that, and you, with compassion. I hope you will do the same for me.

We’ve all been through a horrible time. Whether we like each other’s opinions or not, we’re all bound together in this web of life. My heart’s prayer is for us all to come back together again remembering we’re all in this together.  

5-16-20 Who’s the first person you go to for advice? If you answered that question with anyone other than yourself you might want to reevaluate your process. We are the only authority on ourselves! We know what’s best for us, even when that seems to run contrary to what others tell us or others are doing. It is great to have a support team, people you respect and whose opinions that you value. Still, it’s good to remember that they can only offer opinions based on their own life stories, vast and wise as those might be, and according to their own filters and blind spots. And yes, it’s true, sometimes things seem clearer from outside looking in and we depend on our dearest friends to tell us what we don’t want to hear or admit.

Nonetheless, before we follow any external wisdom and advice, even the most “right-sounding”, it serves us best to run it past our own security system - our heart - first. Most of us haven’t been brought up to follow our own guidance, or intuition, to our great cost (in fact, that might have been the first time we ever “should-ed” on ourselves, as in, “I should have listened to myself”). The best sounding advice might not be right for us...it just doesn’t feel right, no other explanation needed. On the other hand, some advice might scare, even terrify us, and/or leave us with more questions than answers, yet there’s also a lifting of our spirits as our soul recognizes what’s right for us. 

We are each so magnificent in our uniqueness. We each have a singular voice full of the wisdom of our life’s sorrows and joys, we have gifts to share that only we can share. Let’s check in with our hearts...are we following a course fueled from our mother’s, father’s, teacher’s, or whoever’s past negative view of us rather than our own brilliance? Are we following old wisdom that thankfully helped us survive in the past yet we’re ready to move past that and thrive now? Are we operating from old beliefs in fear rather than Love? Let’s celebrate ourselves by going to ourselves first – let’s take time in the stillness, listen to our hearts and say yes to believing in our own inner wisdom. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

5-13-20 I often do a “circle of Hillarys” meditation (perhaps some of you have experienced the meditation) when 1 of my “selves” (and that usual means a negative aspect) is barking. The purpose of the circle is to bring myself into wholeness. That naturally happens when I allow the barking self to have its voice, rather than make it wrong, and bring it into the acceptance of the circle. Today there were a lot of voices clamoring for attention, so it seemed the perfect time for this meditation. Meditating on Love, all my selves were willing to gather in Rumi’s field that I mentioned a few days ago. It seemed beneficial, since there were so many voices, to let them all speak so I could get clearer on exactly what was going on inside of me. I allowed each self to have the mic, not just the negative ones, no interrupting (there was some eye-rolling, however), passing it along respectfully from one to the other after each one had her full say. You wouldn’t believe how many Hillarys there are, no wonder I feel so crazy sometimes. At the end, however, we all joined arm in arm and took a collective breath as the circle of Hillarys got smaller and smaller. They all merged into one me...a more whole me that now felt more open-hearted and compassionate, kinder and more understanding where previously I had felt divided and pulled in many directions. I am now freer and more joyous, ready to look outward with all that I rediscovered within me and shine that light into the world.

Does that sound like something you’d like a little more of? Give it a go, with compassion and honesty, and see if you don’t come back more resilient and accepting of others’ choices.

5-11-20 Rumi said, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” I don’t know about you but my field is a little shaky right now. Honestly, sometimes it doesn’t feel possible to get there right now. And then I realize, often with a little help, that it doesn’t feel possible because I’m thinking too much. And, more specifically, all my many thoughts are centered around can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, and yeah buts. My head always comes up with excuses even though my heart only wants to be a bridge and know Love. It courts craziness as it resists and fights, continuing to ask, “how can it ever be possible?”  but it is exactly those thoughts that make it seem impossible to ever achieve what I really and truly want with all of my being, which is to get to Love.

Getting to Love is always the answer. When I get still, breathe, come[sb1]  home to my heart’s sanctuary and be willing to open to Love then I merge with Love. All boundaries to Love’s healing melt away. I know...I absolutely KNOW without a doubt, that anything, that everything is possible! I can’t think it into being. I just have to remember and be willing that I want to align with my Best Self. I don’t have to know the how, I only have to realize I left Love and return. Getting to Love is ALWAYS the answer especially when my head says there is no answer. Often, lately, I come out of Love and my head reinserts itself as the authority and I have to repeat the process. And that’s OK. And I don’t have to add to my head’s negativity by beating myself up and further knocking myself down because I couldn’t hold onto Love for longer than 2 seconds. I simply notice, give myself compassion, and resolve to return to Love. If I can’t do that right then and there, at least I’ve reminded myself that my head needs to be reined in, that there is another truth available to me when I can get back to Love’s presence and in the meantime I can wrap myself in gentleness and compassion  - that is the process of everyday wholeness, after all. While I’m at it, I’ll give myself a big hug, tell myself how wonderful I am, give a friend a call and tell them how wonderful they are, and go stare at the miracle of a tree birthing itself. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

5-7-20 I am sitting here wanting to write something inspiring and I’m pretty blank, maybe emotionally numb right now. I wanted to write the most amazing piece that will bring our world back to harmony and have everyone honoring each other’s difference of opinion with compassion and respect. But, to be honest, that wasn’t happening so well before S-I-P., either, was it?

There’s an old chiropractic saying, “What’s good for you when you’re well is good for you when you’re sick.” So, that’s what I’ll do - even though I’m heart-sick, and having trouble envisioning a better future (which is definitely something I’m not used to) I’ll stick with what worked for me before. I’ll keep coming homing to my heart...I’ll keep stepping into Love...I’ll continue to be willing to hear Love ‘s voice within which reminds me I-Am-Love. That always fills me with strength and the courage to keep on keeping on. Indeed, it is my strength and healing. So, here I go, and I better not wade in, with a tentative toe. I’m diving in. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

4-30-20 Have we learned anything about resilience yet? It means to spring back from and adjust to adversity. I have always said the time to build your resiliency muscle is when things are going well for you and you’re feeling strong enough to practice, and practice again, and practice yet again. Then, because we’ve already got that groove going, it’s easier to get to our strengths and heart’s wisdom rather than our habitual thought pattern that might be more negative and/or fear-driven. Well here we are, regardless of the foundation we’ve previously built for ourselves. And so now is the best time to be doing the heart exercises that keep us better able to ride the waves. Because, unfortunately, I believe that once we’re “let free”, most of us will still be locked in a cage in our minds, regardless of whether we agreed with shelter-in-place or not. When we all come back together, we will all have to work very hard...some of us to ever feel safe again and some of us to get over our anger at all those who have a different belief system than we do. The real work will be to remember we are one world of peoples and all in this together...and how do we still treat each other with compassion and respect, while honestly sharing our differences?

I’m still struggling with that one myself. Building bridges of acceptance, understanding and compassion for others is important to me, yet my little self feels so passionately and I get very righteous. So today I went out to the forest, allowed my sorrow to fully bloom, and watered the earth with my tears. The season of spring happening all around reminded me that after “death” there is a rebirth and new life. I breathed deeply to open my heart more fully to Love’s miracle and to unclench the tight places where my body was still holding resistance to that miracle. I spent time remembering my daily morning intention of how I want to be and show up in the world, no matter what (this is where having practiced resilience comes in handy).  Then I practiced a forgiveness exercise. I gave myself love first, for holding stinkin’ thinkin’ about “others.” Then, I sent those “others” love, for their own stinkin’ thinkin’. Finally I pictured myself being my best self, glowing with vitally and love. Once I was grounded in that, I was also able to send love to those “others” and visualized them living and thriving at the highest level.

So, what are your practices of resilience? I invite you to try some of mine, or create your own...we need you to be strong, healthy and able to remember your joy! Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

4-28-20 Life is so damn wonderful! Life is so insane! Life is so precious! Life is so X#* hard! Wow all that in 10 seconds. If you have a little bit of land around you like I do then I imagine you’re seeing spring happening (unless you’re in the Southern hemisphere). How could I possibly be hopeless and upset when robins and chickadees are singing all around me (talk about having tough times sometimes), flowers are just starting to bloom (oh glorious buttercups with your stunning yellow happiness beaming at me) and the rivers are starting their snow-melt passionate flow of life. We left home today to walk behind our house to the river, it was 46 degrees. By the time we got to the river it was 65 degrees, it felt hot and the river was beckoning. A dip to the calf revealed that it felt like a river of ice was passing us by. Still, I had it in my mind that it was already overtime to plunge...my springtime affirmation to cleanse, to purify, to affirm what was true for me, to shed the heavy overcoat of everything lately that seemed to be weighing me down. Stew and I indulged in our own private celebration of life affirmation yahoo-ness and it was freezing and freeing!! In any given moment it is possible to be present to the thoughts that keep us in suffering, embrace the gift of them, and then, transform them all into allies of possibilities and strengths. Everyday wholeness strikes again!!!! Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

4-21-20 Riding the wave this morning I felt way too angry and sad - at the world, at “them”, even at all my friends, and certainly myself that I couldn’t get off of this gerbil wheel I put myself on, and I felt horrible! Then, Stew told me to read some of my posts and practice what I preach. So, I did and just started with my most recent post and wow! There are some good words of truth written there! I invite you to go back and read the 2nd and 3rd paragraph. It helped me to put a little space in between the run-away thoughts of poor me and instead interject a healthier dose of thoughts about my resiliency and what’s right with me. Ahhhhh, when you do that for yourself do you notice how much lighter your whole body feels? Even when I’m not 100% conscious of how tightly I am bound I can sure feel the difference between the two once I choose freedom and Love! Happy exploring the difference for yourself.

P.S. I walked away and almost immediately started stinkin’ thinkin’ again – it’s so darn easy to follow that habitual pattern. Back to reminding myself that this is a perfect opportunity for me to show up the way I intend and that I can make a different choice. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

 4-16-20 Life continues to be confusing, frustrating, difficult, etc. for so many. And depending on the circumstances of your life, especially if you’ve lost income, it might continue to be hard for quite a while. Conversations I’m privy to continue to reflect that hardship. I certainly understand getting caught up in everything and ranting about it. I admit I do it myself quite often and it helps me be honest about where I’m at, honor it, and not let it store up inside. But I believe there’s a difference between sharing it with a select few when I find yourself down in the bottom of the wave, and sharing it with everyone as a regular and constant course of conversation. Even if we’re “justified” in our fear, our righteous anger, and judgment, it doesn’t help us or the situation to go on and on with it.

If you’re feeling helpless or out of control, now is the best time to remember that within you is the greatest tool in the world to help you regain power and control. If you know what I’m going to say now that’s great, but let’s dive in again because even those of us who know that we are in charge of our thoughts quite often let them run rampant, like an unruly child. We are responsible for the peace in our lives, period! And that cannot happen when we let the external rule us. As we are all experiencing, the external is often messy and inconsistent with our beliefs and true nature. However, when I get quiet, breathe and remember my strengths, my intentions on how I want to show up in each moment, and my core beliefs (that don’t change depending on the circumstances) I am more likely to be able to cope more positively with what is, with what’s presenting in the outer world.

 So let’s STOP RIGHT NOW...in fuming over what is; fretting, worrying, being fearful over what might be...we can turn our thoughts to more empowering ones. You are powerful beyond measure. You are a vast reservoir of peace and love, that even now is pouring out of your heart and all through you. As difficult as it might sometimes be, turning within to the sanctuary of the heart is good for us because anything other than that affects our ability to be strong, be the light, be an inspiration, not to mention how stress affects our immune system (and that’s when we really have to worry about viruses, isn’t it, but that’s another topic)? Let’s stop pointing fingers at everyone else, and society in general, and take responsibility for creating peace right where we are, starting in our own homes. Be kinder to yourself starting with your own thoughts. You don’t deserve to feel all the anger and other poisonous energies that you’re sending “out there”.

Let’s end with using our wonderful tool of imagination in a positive way. I invite you to call forth a memory of an adversity in your life. But don’t dwell on the problem, rather remember how you overcame it. Recall what strengths you (re)discovered and called forth that helped you get through. Feel how strong you felt, perhaps proud of yourself, perhaps more peaceful, or clearer, or hopeful. Whatever empowering feelings you experienced, stay with them and let them expand within you. They no longer are a past memory associated with that specific incident, but they are here, right now, available within you, a part of what you are. Enjoy that ride, my friends. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

4-9-20 grxxxtpppssxxxxrrrrrggggrrr! That was me expelling a whole bunch of expletives. I have such a range of feelings these days and I’m sure you do, too. Sometimes I ride a wave of such deep sadness, and for so many different reasons. Usually, it first feels like anger to me. But I’ve learned over the years that anger is a head thing, and outer directed, with thoughts of other people doing something wrong (and I am certainly entertaining a lot of that with all this). In truth, though, it’s my ally because it’s telling me I’m actually disconnected from myself. So, I get still, breathe, go within. Then I’m able to get underneath the raging anger and discover I’m really riding a tidal wave of such deep sadness, and there’s so many different reasons. Now, with that discovery, I can hold myself in the arms of compassion and feel the preciousness of my heartbreak. Connected to my heart, the choking walls of judgment, frustration and anger literally break my heart wide open, Love floods in, and then I can even hold everyone else in the arms of compassion, too. Yes, even the ones I disagree with. When that happens, I guess I am learning to be OK with what is, which I am exploring what that exactly means for me, because I am still so NOT OK with what is. Sigh.

 If it sounds as if I am harping on this theme, it’s because I am, because I hear that so many folks are spiraling downward with all this. It all IS overwhelming, but especially when we’re thinking about it. When we truly give ourselves permission to feel, yes, it can be a tidal wave at first, but we all have tools to ride it as well as the resilience to come back from it. Think about babies, oh my goodness there’s a storm of tears, but they express it, and then it’s over, and the next moment they’re laughing. Weird, but I’ve found it works that way in adults, too, when we let ourselves express what’s alive in us in that moment. Then we’re living in everyday wholeness and we’re riding victoriously up on the top of the wave, able to see from a new perspective, a more heightened one. Then, there’s room for humor, too. I looked in the mirror and saw a pimple on my nose. My goodness, I’m 63 years old and that just seems wrong. And the thought came, “No one will see this pimple! Who says there’s no perks to Shelter at Home?” Yes, everyday wholeness makes room for laughter. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net. 

4-6-20 The world continues to spin out of our control, and the truth still remains that we have control over 1 thing...our consciousness. That 1 thing, however, is not a small thing. It ripples out into so many other things...will we choose to feel hopeless, powerless and alone? Will we perceive this day as just 1 more horrible/boring/fearful day to be gotten through? Will we spiral downward into “what might be in the future”, especially if you’re not working right now? Or will we take a stand (in our thoughts) to create a new future for ourselves by creating a powerful NOW regardless of the circumstances? We are each powerful beings, capable of great things when we connect to our heart‘s wisdom. A heart is such a beautiful place to take sanctuary in when things seem difficult because its everyday magic literally changes our reality, flooding us with new wisdom, showing us a different, more positive way to perceive the situation, reminding us of our strengths to call forth and draw upon, and allowing us to feel hopeful enough to dream and re-imagine what could be and call it forth.

Oh, my dear friends, I remind us that we are each so much bigger than we often give ourselves credit for. Every good thought, every possible new road to success IS here now, waiting for us to go within and open up to entertaining it. If we don’t know how to start, or it just feels too difficult, we can simply hold a new thought, one that has us standing in our strength - refusing to let ourselves be beaten down - with a future where we are thriving and living in joy. If we re-invent ourselves now, in this very moment, it’s likely that there we’ll be in the future in that new job that utilizes our creative abilities more, or following an old cherished dream we let go of a long time ago. We’ll be living from more of our everyday wholeness because we’ve used this time to re-connect with the Beloved within and there is more compassion in our hearts to  forgive, accept ourselves more and shower that on everyone else. Oh the possibilities are endless!!!

Please, being in charge of our own consciousness is the most powerful and hopeful thing we can do for ourselves today. And, especially, if you’re not working or thinking you’re not contributing and/or serving, then please share the good news of this big idea with everyone else you know, especially the young folks...give someone hope today. I believe in us...I believe in you. Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net.

4-4-20 picture of 3 snow people with “Love Will Prevail” signs

4-1-20 Well, I didn’t need April Fool’s Day to remind me how well we can all play the fool. If that seems a little harsh, it’s because I’m feeling a little, OK maybe a lot, disheartened. I see and hear how this Shelter-at-home is affecting so many of us in a frightening way. I’m worried the repercussions will create a world where we’re even more distanced from each other, with everyone afraid to touch each other, and living as if the world is a scary, unfriendly place. I’m worried about our environment and how people in powerful places are taking advantage of what’s going on to further debase our precious planet. I’m worried about how people say how can you think of the environment now, with everything that’s going on with the people, as if the two aren’t interconnected, and as if the people don’t depend on the Earth.

OK. I’ve honored some of my sorrows (there’s so many more, and I sorrow for everyone else’s personal sorrows, too). It’s time to practice what I preach. It’s time to remember what I believe...that Love is the greatest healer. That Love creates miracles. That Love lives within all of us and we can always access that Love, make a choice for Love in the moment, let it inspire us so we can re-imagine a different scenario playing out. A future created from worry and fear is NOT locked in. We can each contribute to a phoenix rising from the ashes. I pledge to do my part, how about you? When I feel discouraged, I will refuse to stay down there. I will rise up into my highest nature of Love, which brings me hope, courage and strength. When I fall down into despair, I will stand up again and seek out ways of connection, creativity and kindness so I can continue to envision a world based on my highest ideals. How about you...will you join me in holding this intention, and yourself, strong? The world needs you. Today can still be a good day...and I make it so!

3-29-20 Whether we are sheltering totally alone, or with others, each of us is flying solo here, ultimately alone in facing who we have been in the world and how well we have cultivated our inner life. For if we haven’t, I imagine it might be feeling tougher now, with less ability to distract ourselves and be busy in the outer world. Most of us have become quite adept at hiding pieces of ourselves from others and even ourselves. Even if we have spent time in the past cultivating a deep connection with our heart, being alone now with ourselves so much, being cooped up, I’m betting we are all coming face to face with our least likeable traits. Perhaps we’re finding more fault with our dearly loved ones, and we’re just cranky in general; perhaps we’re bored (hopefully there’s only so much tv binge watching and FB you can endure). Stew challenged us yesterday (in our first co-talk, “Shelter From the Storm”) to find the good here. Perhaps, now that we have all this time, we will get bored enough and call forth our courage, and we will forge that inner relationship to our bigness, to the best that we are. Underneath all our schmutz, beyond all that crap we’ve done, not done, said, not said, that we think makes us so unlovable, I guarantee we will ALL find a quiet/gentle voice whispering sweet nothings to us, reminding us that we have our own best friend inside, one that absolutely accepts us, unconditionally loves us, finds us exciting and funny and tender and kind, and is quite willing to stick around so we can explore all our hidden inner gems. Let’s indulge in being silly... dress up, light a candle and think about something you’re proud of...admit a mistake and wrap the arms of compassion around yourself...sing at the top of your lungs (badly). Let’s dare to find out how truly lovable we are no matter how we act. Let’s kick up our heels and see how good we can make ourselves feel. Now is the time to reimagine ourselves, heal and grow into our everyday wholeness. Today is a good day...and I make it so. www.everydaywholeness.net.

3-24-20 Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures! Stew and I have been saying this a lot (as we eat more chocolate or have an extra sip of Jameson’s). Seriously, though, we are the extraordinary ones we’ve been waiting for. How we spend our shelter-at-home time and especially, the consciousness we spend it in, is creating our future.

We were walking down the street yesterday, and Ari, my daughter, was wondering at the point of living given the state of affairs. I couldn’t give her an overall answer as to why things happen the way they sometimes (and even, often) so horribly do. And so we grieved together and let our tears flow. Paradoxically, as usually happens when I allow myself to feel my own and another’s sorrow, and compassion flows, my heart opens and expands and I feel the preciousness of that connection. We talked about that preciousness, how it’s only found in the moment of being present, looking around with the eyes of wonder and awe and feeling the connection to all Life. Love that is the glue that binds the web, and Being in the experience of Love reminds me that I Am Love. Maybe there is no grand purpose to Life except to re-member that oneness and re-claim the Joy of just being in these bodies, just as we are, uniquely us.

I see you honoring the full range of all your feelings, even as you allow new creativity, deeper introspection, and the knowing of greater joy at finding life so precious, adding to your everyday wholeness. Today is a good day...and I make it so!