2-1-23 Have you noticed how some days you are so sure of yourself? Of your magnificence? Of how you fit into the world? Of how you matter and make a difference?  On those days you feel clear in your purpose, confident and strong. Then there are the other days. When it’s just the opposite. When you forget every high and holy thought you ever held about yourself. When you feel that you’re just a mistake. Sigh.

It’s hard to get through those “yucky” days, isn’t it?! I have discovered it is very possible to get through those days and thrive. It is amazing how many amnesia episodes I can have over the course of a week, or even in 1 day. You see, my brain believes every word I say because it seems and feels real in that moment. If I tell myself dis-empowering thoughts about myself, about others or the world, then it seems as if it’s going to be real and true for always. So it is very VERY important that I tell myself something else in that instant or I will continue to reinforce that belief and it will indeed become real and true for ever. It is vital that I tell myself I am NOT a mistake, just taking up space, even on my worst days.

There’s only 1 way I know of to break that pattern and that’s by going to the heart. There are many paths to the heart but one of the quickest ways I’ve learned that works every time is heart focus – heart breathing – heart feeling. It only takes about 40 seconds to do. The more I’ve done it the more going to my heart has become my default. Why not try it now, and see if you don’t notice a difference in just this one time?

Settle in right where you, getting comfortable. Read through the following HeartMath-inspired directions once, then re-read it a little slower as you follow the directions.

Bring your focus to your heart by placing your palm on your heart, or chest area. Feel the beat of your heart through your hand. Feel/become aware of your heart sending life and love to every part of your body.

Now, imagine yourself breathing in and out of your heart. Perhaps seeing it as a wave of light - or love -  or color. Consciously breathe this way 3-7 times.

Continue your heart focused breathing, as you add heart feeling. Bring in the feeling of appreciation or care for someone or something.

What this does for me is to create a pause in the rushing train of my downwardly spiraling thoughts and the accompanying energy-sucking feelings. Instead of residing in my brain I’ve moved into my heart that is so much more intelligent, supportive and inspiring. My heart has so many wonderful words for me, but when I’m in the middle of beating myself down and my brain is shouting so loudly, I simply can’t hear my quiet loving heart.

I have made it my life’s practice to come back home to my heart. I have declared that nothing is going to stop me, not even me, especially not me. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve forgotten to reside in my heart in the past. I doesn’t matter how many times I will forget in the future. The only thing that matters is that I return as soon as I notice. My heart always reminds me of my strengths and my gifts. My heart always accepts me unconditionally just the way I come. My heart will always be my greatest ally, cheerleader and friend. So will yours if you let it. And, if you want some help in achieving that, I’d love to be your ally, too. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

1-18-22 “Today is a good day to have a good day.” I saw that painted up on a wall in my UK travels, sorry I can’t give its author credit, but I love it. It is very akin to what I write at the end of every post I do. It is ALWAYS a good day to have a good day, no exceptions. While it is true that I’ve had some pretty awful things going on around me, and I know that is also true for you, I know I’d much rather deal with it from a heart-centered consciousness. How about you? It doesn’t make the shitty go away but it sure makes a difference in how I feel as I’m dealing with the stuff. So it’s a choice point and I have to stay mindful to my bigger intentions to stay in Love in more of my moments. I’m not saying it’s easy to do, or that I am always capable of choosing love in my more challenging moments. But when I do, I always feel empowered, even in situations when I actually have very little control over what is going on.

If you read that and felt some resistance come up around the possibility of being able to do that for yourself, you can start with easier stuff. We all have things come up in our day and we go unconscious and respond in ways such as irritation, impatience, or even unkindness. Common ones for me could be that I feel tired from too much shoveling, or the line at the post office is too long, or even sometimes I pick up the garbage and the bottom falls out. I have lots of excuses for my grumpy mood. Don’t you?

But think about it…this is our life we’re in the middle of, why would we want to waste any of it being cranky and separate from our heart self? A good day happens moment by moment. When we choose cranky we miss out on so many possibilities for joy and wonder, not to mention peace.

And that’s the truth of it – I  choose my thots and perceptions in every given moment. So when something happens that isn’t to my liking I can still stay in my peace, I can still stay grounded in love. Then I’m going to be thankful that my body is strong enough to shovel these days and I can praise it. And I’ll notice the rainbows in the melting icicles. After the storms, I’ll notice the bluebird sky, as we call it here. When I’m at the post office, instead of being frustrated, I’ll receive a smile when I share empathy with the postal worker I’m dealing with.

Maybe now you’re ready to see how you could apply that to some of the tougher stuff we deal with. Last year, we released Brenna and Stew’s mom to the Great Mystery. It was a rough journey both times and yet I chose to still declare each day that it was a good day. I believe that so many tender moments entered through the cracks of my grieving heart because of that. I was able to be with the preciousness of life, and hold gratitude for that life, even as there was sorrow. Declaring each day as a good day, no matter what, is what got me through with resilience and even peace.

And it still works and it’s what always gets me through. This year there’s been some serious health issues, some scary times, fears to overcome, other losses, and I will continue to declare here, most emphatically…Today is a good day...and I make it so!

1-8-22 What do you base your value on, your self-worth? Is it an external thing? Do you only feel you are worthy based on how much you’re accomplishing? For those of you in service professions, is your worth only based on how much you’re giving?

I spent the first 2 years of Covid world re-imagining my worth. Prior to that, for over 20 years, I served in Safe Haven, the chiropractic healing center I co-owned with Stew.  For 12 years I served as Spiritual Leader in Unity at the Lake. For 15 years, I traveled to Europe serving chiropractic warriors. When all that stopped, I no longer knew how to define myself, what my identity was, or where I belonged in the world.

This came up recently with a few of my clients and when we explored it in 1 of the groups I’m in, it seems it’s pretty universal that we attach our worth with what our job is and how much  we do within that context. One person shared she pours so much time into doing in her job, yet still feels like it’s never enough. And that that feeling leads to the thought, “I’m not enough.” The rest of the group could all relate.

When I no longer had the mirror of folks telling me all the ego stuff of how I’d inspired them, or helped change their life, or how wonderful I was based on what I did with them, I had to ask myself, long & hard, and often, “Who am I?” Mother, lover, inspirer, healer, were some of my answers, many other descriptions followed. Yet when I continued asking the question I was able to get underneath the surface of those roles, as important as they might be, and define myself based on who I am, who my heart defines me as -  who I am when I live according to my core values and heart principles.

When I do, I know that Love is my truest essence. I have learned that putting energy and time into getting to know Love-as-me is one of the most important, if not THE most important thing I can do in my life. Then, I show up in more of my moments as Love. I have learned to take my value from, and be proud of, the self-work I apply towards staying in my heart and being true to my principles. How I am in any given moment impacts me, my family, and what is happening in the world. Whether anyone else knows it or not, it matters to ME that I respond with and from Love instead of reacting with impatience or judgment. (And I know it matters to Stew when I respond to him with respect and kindness, and am able to remember how much he means to me). I DETERMINE MY OWN VALUE AND SELF WORTH. I CLAIM IT AND BRING IT FORTH! That is very healing for me and brings me much peace.

Not only does residing in Love make me a better person, it adds that energy out into the world. The world needs healing right now and I know without a doubt that Love is the only miracle that is going to accomplish that. If that doesn’t feed your self-worth, nothing will. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

12-20-22 Happy Solstice. The Solstice defines the moment when the length of the day again equals the length of the night. Winter’s Solstice means the shorter days of winter will be lengthening and eventually bringing us back to spring. For many, I’m imagining this is cause for celebration, as the days of winter can be physically and emotionally taxing. Yet, for me, winter is a time of slowing down, entering into the stillness on all levels and strengthening and renewing myself.

I live in Lake Tahoe and the winter can often be challenging with lots of snow. It happily forces me to stay at home more because the streets are unsafe to drive. My home is my sanctuary and I often just sit and look around at my sacred clutter. I do have a lot of stuff on walls and tables, but each one reminds me of family, or friends, or a certain time period in my life, or travels, and they all bring a gladness to my heart. Or I use the time to do all the little projects that I don’t make time for the rest of the year when it’s easier to be outdoors all day long. For example, every year I create a picture album from the past year’s photos, whittling them down to a manageable number to print. This year I’m also (re)learning the guitar and scheduling sing-a-longs with my favorite artists. Of course, there’s also more time for reading great books, and just staring at the fire or out at the magnificent forest of my backyard. I slow down enough to enjoy more of the present moment.

So, I would invite you to contemplate these questions for yourself: do I cultivate silent-time activities for myself? Do I have enjoyable pursuits that are separate from my work or service life – in other words, do I know who I am/what I enjoy beyond what I do (for a living)?

Going deeper with wintertime can also be likened to the “womb of darkness that nourishes and restores us” (thank you for that one, Rachel). For most of my life, I was afraid of the darkness, especially the darkness inside of me. I fought with it, I ran from it, I hated it. Gradually, as I did my self-work journey, I learned to look upon the darkness within me and all the difficult periods I went through - or my “dark nights of the soul” – as an opportunity for transformation. Rather than running, I stayed put with it, got still, allowed the Love that was also within me to emerge more and have its voice. I learned all about acceptance, being gentle with myself, knowing I was more than enough, and celebrating myself just the way I showed up. Yes, I learned to love winter and its the stillness. I also loved learning that there’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of, or resisted for that matter, in the darkness.

Some more questions to contemplate: Have I cultivated habits of deep self-inquiry? How willing am I to sit in the stillness and face the darkness within so I can transform it? How willing am I to allow Love a chance to talk to me so I can begin to hear Love’s voice as my own? How willing am I to live my life without so much busyness so I can begin to appreciate what’s truly important? Today is a good day...and I make it so! www.everydaywholeness.net

12-8-22 I want to commend all of you for being willing to do the self-work necessary to bloom into your best selves. I was reminded of how difficult that can be by a new client the other day. In our 2nd session she admitted that during the week’s assignment she came face to face with how many negative thoughts she had in a day, and she was a little depressed that she had never realized that before.

But that’s the “booby prize” of becoming self-aware, isn’t it? Through the years it has been my heart’s deepest desire to become my best self by shining the light on all my perceptions and beliefs that negate that. But I can’t tell you how many times, when confronted by my thoughts of judgment, impatience, unkindness - all those pieces of myself I’m not too fond of - I wanted to quit, cover them all up, ignore them because frankly, it just doesn’t feel good. Happily, I kept up with it because the heart of my soul was right there, too, always urging me forward.

And then I entered the next difficult phase: I had done all this work over a long period of time and learned so much. Yet in noticing that I still so often had those same old thoughts and unconsciously acted from them, I would beat myself up because I “should” have known better. Sound familiar?

Well welcome to being human. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve just begun the journey or like me, are well into it – we are all sometimes going to forget love is our truest essence and often come from that “less-than” consciousness that acts out without checking in with the heart first. And when that happens to me, for some silly reason I think I haven’t made any forward progress and I forget that truly I have come so far and overcome so much.

So I’ll share with you what I told my client and remind myself of often:

Beloved one, focus on what’s right about you and your intention to be kinder, stronger, gentler, more accepting, honoring, and compassionate. Celebrate your willingness to be on this journey in the first place, and how you continue to persevere even in the times when it feels so dark, hopeless, or lonely. Don’t forget or ignore how far you’ve come, and what strides you’ve already made.   Believe that it is in bringing the shadow pieces to light rather than sweeping them under the rug - bringing them to the light in acceptance and gentleness  - is exactly the recipe the world needs for healing itself. Everything you are, the whole package, is a gift to the world that helps and inspires others on their own journey back to wholeness. Good on you and welcome home. Today is a good day...and we make it so! www.

11-26-22 A few days ago another senseless act of violence happened in my country and my heart plunged into sadness. That opened the door for all my own personal sadnesses to surface. I believe that is why many people choose to ignore such things and pretend they didn’t happen. It IS difficult to feel difficult emotions. And yet I have found that once I open that door, the door also opens to all my uplifting and regenerative feelings, like joy and gratitude.

The heart is an amazing instrument. It can hold so much more than we think it can and paradoxically it can hold seemingly irreconcilable feelings at the same time. For the past few weeks, since Stew and I returned from our fabulous UK trip, we’ve both been healing physically so we’ve been expressing lots of symptoms, sometimes difficult symptoms. And yet, as I’ve been doing my work, this same work that I’m always telling you about in these sharings and that I teach, I’ve been able to hold the high watch for myself. When I immerse myself in self-inquiry alongside my heart-based tools that keep me connected to my Best Self, my Wise Woman Self, I’m able to be gentle with myself and accepting of what is while still holding the vision of my own wholeness and well-being.

I’m very proud of myself for that…yes, it works when I work it! And I truly believe that staying connected to my heart has been one of the biggest factors in my healing.  When my thoughts are aligned to my core values and belief system, when I choose moment-to-moment remembering and focusing on what I know to be true and thus act from that consciousness, I am no longer interfering with my body’s innate abilities to move towards its natural wholeness and harmony. I can face fear, worry and doubts with love, faith, trust and certainty.

So, the biggest perk to opening my heart is that I have also been residing in deep gratitude and re-connection to my inner joy. A lot of that happened for me in going to the UK in the first place and being with some many wonderful souls (see my last post). Once more, it was that simultaneous holding of heavy and uplifting emotions at the same time. My Gratitude List is overflowing. Thank you Heart for showing me the way once again. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

11-15-22 My dear ones, oh I’ve missed you!!!! But actually, I may have gotten to see some of you in person (and if I did that was a slice of heaven for me). I have just returned from a whirlwind 5-week tour of the UK. There were highs and lows, wonderful and difficult moments, yet all of it was heart-opening. I felt the fire flame up magnificently within me in my first weekend at a retreat with 13 other chiropractic ladies. That flame roared even brighter the next weekend after Stew’s and my Chiropractic from the Heart workshop in Edinburgh with 20 beautiful, vulnerable souls. And finally, it fanned to epic proportions in our final weekend at Chiropractic Essentials with 550 passionate chiropractic warriors. In between all that, Stew and I adventured, frolicked and renewed our spirits seeing new sights.

On many levels this trip was about facing fear and healing what had closed down within me these past 2 years. Doing it at self-development gatherings with so many other folks, all doing the same thing, allowed me to feed on the collective energy and go deeper. I remembered that letting go and embracing my power usually go hand in hand. I had made intentions beforehand to approach everything with an open heart, hold a space of love, share my love unconditionally and to connect with everyone at a deep level. I believe that because of my intentions I received back an enormous amount of love.

My heart is now more open and I’m going do everything I can to keep it that way. At the last seminar, someone mentioned doing a mission statement. It’s something I have done for years. I read my mission statement to myself every day in my morning meditation. I focus on it throughout my day to keep me on track. For me a mission statement is more about remembering the state of being I want to show up in and the truth statements I want to remember and also hold in my consciousness. After the seminar, I decided to re-do mine to also include my mission of doing and the impact I want to have in the world.

I highly recommend creating a mission statement if you don’t already have one. If you do have one, you might want to relook at it and makes sure it’s still fresh for you and speaks to your heart and to what’s alive in you right now. Either way, you definitely want to make sure you look at it often, if not daily.

The other thing I’d recommend is getting together with your tribe, or any like-minded people, to give and receive as many hugs and as much love as you possibly can. It’s an energy booster, it’s life enhancing and it feels damn good! Thanks for being you, for helping to love yourself and others more and thereby changing the world. And I’m so happy you’re part of my tribe, Today is a good day...and I make it so!

9-23-22 Self-inquiry, done with compassion yet honesty, is one of the best self-care actions I have ever done for myself. When I say, “Yes, I do that or yes, I did that,” I give myself the best possibility of changing my future. I take responsibility for it, first to see what amends, if any, I need to make because other people matter to me; my intention is always connection. Second, shining the light of Love on what happened helps me to make a different choice next time.

In the present moment, it allows me to accept myself more, no matter what AND still be gentle with myself. It’s part of my human journey and doesn’t take away from my true nature. It doesn’t prevent me from Be-ing Love. And that love-in-action for myself actually brings me to wholeness – I become a safe haven where ALL my pieces are welcome.

From a consciousness of Love, none of my less skillful choices, or other people’s less skillful choices, prevent me from indulging in a do- over, where I then get to share my gifts and serve in the best way I know how from my heart. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

8-5-22 In talking with a client a few days ago, I remembered something I’d forgotten. When I first started my self-inquiry and self-work, taking up meditation, going to workshops, reading self-help books, etc., I thought it would make me into a brand-new person.  I thought my ‘bad’ qualities would all magically go away and I would become someone who was nice and kind ALL THE TIME.  

Well. I am still the same person. I don’t always follow my heart’s best wisdom and advice. I still have judgmental thoughts and angry outbursts. I still allow myself to get hurt (and to hurt others, especially Stew) when I make things mean something that just ain’t so.

However, I have definitely softened those hard and inflexible edges by continuing to do my work, no matter what. In choosing heart over brain, I have grown new pathways to my heart, making it easier to reside there, and return there, in more of my moments. As I’ve grown more familiar with those new pathways, the older limiting pathways have gotten dustier with disuse. My brain’s tendency to shout, “Follow me, I know the way”, based on past habits and beliefs that kept me small and no longer served me, has become quieter.

And so, I hope to inspire you to continue your own self-work, even when it seems as if nothing is changing. I am more peaceful, quicker to forgive and to say I’m sorry. I am more accepting and more compassionate. I enjoy, and therefore accept, myself more. I enjoy life more. In fact, I love myself unconditionally now. Wow!

That means I no longer define myself based on my less skillful moments. I no longer blame myself for my unconscious words and secret, shameful thoughts. Instead, I use those moments as allies to help me become aware of where I am in my consciousness and to help me remember there is a different choice I can make. I no longer see myself as a victim. In other words…Today is a good day...and I make it so!

7-20-22 It is summertime in Tahoe, which means lots of hiking for me. Which, in turn, means a glory of flowers with their fragrances and colors, endless lakes and rivers to immerse in, and peaks to climb with their big vistas. Everything is perfect and wonderful…I am so present with the amazing life all around. I have indulged in many grand hikes lately and I’m feeling very blessed and grateful for my life.

That being said, here I am in my life, everything is wonderful, and then suddenly, discord shows up, either from something Stew said or something a friend did or didn’t do. A stray thought makes its presence known that “they” are wrong and that’s all it takes; one moment I’m in gratitude and bliss and it’s incredible how quickly I will follow that stray thought to, “everything is wrong.”

Have you ever noticed the difference between hanging out in your brain and hanging out in your heart? I don’t know about you, but my experience is a whole lot more enjoyable when I’m residing in my heart. My brain demands that things look a certain way and, of course when they don’t, it engages in making me miserable until the world conforms to those limitations. My heart knows only love, however, because it’s present in the only moment when love is ever available…now! When I am aligned with love, everything is always alright and I feel more peaceful and clear since I am more connected to my own heart’s inner wisdom.

When my brain is engaged in guerilla warfare, I take everything it says as “gospel” and I’m full speed ahead on rollercoaster rides that only take me places I don’t want to go. When I apply “the pause” – when I engage my heart - I create space around what my brain has been shouting so loudly that I can’t see or hear anything else. Aligned with love, I can recognize the new pathways that my heart has forged. I can hear the gentle and compassionate voice of my heart telling me I am safe and that I am being held in love. In this brand-new silence, I can even hear that I AM love. Which means I have everything I need within me. Which means that I am more than enough to solve my brain’s emergency in a way that is nurturing and empowering for me, as well as for anyone else involved. Which means that love is my ally and will ensure that compassionate connection, kindness and respect will be part of my new perspective.  The entire universe has just come together for me and joined in on a conspiracy on my behalf. Ahhhh, I’m breathing better already, aren’t you? Today REALLY REALLY is a good day...and I make it so!

7-6-22 Many of my conversations lately have been focusing on self-care and learning to truly appreciate ourselves for being the amazing people we are on this often-difficult human journey. I find that most of us don’t even know what self-care means. Or more importantly, as I personally found, we don’t realize all the things that take us away from valuing ourselves, acknowledging our bigness and being kinder and more compassionate to ourselves.

Sometimes, it’s because we’re too busy taking care of everyone else and making them more important than ourselves. I am guilty of that in my life when I think in terms of what I “should do”, or when I value other people’s expectations more than my own needs. Sometimes, it’s simply a matter of time…if I’m too busy rushing around (even with fun things) then there’s no time to deeply pay any attention to myself, to connect with my heart and see if I’m truly taking good care of myself (you know, the kind of advice we’d give to someone we loved).

 It took me a long time to also learn that whenever I judge myself when I don’t measure up to some impossible standard of being perfect (and there were a lot of them), it takes a big toll on my health and well-being, not to mention keeps me a victim. I used to use those thoughts to beat myself up, keep myself small. My story was all about poor me in an unfair, unkind world. I was never perfect enough in my own mind.

I started to redefine the word “perfection” many years ago, when I took the following words from A Course in Miracles to heart: “Deep within you is everything that is perfect ready to radiate through you and out into the world.” And that perfection was big enough to help me love myself just the way I showed up while inspiring me to show up as Love more often. That new definition of perfection was strong enough to hold everything I was, all my pieces, skillful or otherwise.

Our thoughts and where we are in our consciousness are probably the biggest aspects of self-care. We are spiritual beings, and Love is our true essence. Yet we are living in a human body so it is inescapable that we will also have human experiences that just don’t feel good. Sometimes life is not pleasant, sometimes it’s downright hard or unfair or painful. Sometimes we make mistakes or aren’t as skillful in our words and actions as we’d like, and we don’t show up the way we’d prefer. Nonetheless, YOU AND I ARE POWERFUL. Nothing I say or do can ever take that away from me unless I let it, and that goes for you, too. We don’t have to let our negative story define us. We can cultivate self-care and hold that aspect of ourselves in compassion, in unconditional love.

Today is a good day...and I make it so!

6-20-22 Did you grow up loving Superman or Supergirl in the comics? I did, and they were good role models, up to a point. Happily, more modern renditions often try to show the “more human” side of our superheroes. Let’s face it, SM/G were always on the job, responsible for everybody and everything and they didn’t ask for anyone else’s help. Living that in real life is exhausting and indeed, it can be a very lonely job.

I have been guilty of being a superhero often throughout my life, and while I got the job done, it took a toll on me mentally and physically. However, that effect sometimes didn’t show up for quite a while and I often didn’t connect the dots. Sound familiar? This is alive for me right now because one of my friends is going through menopause, and our circle was recently supporting her. The discussion spilled over into how our self-identity is based on how strong we think we are, and that how strong we think we are is often is based on the original Superman and Supergirl image. Wrong Wrong Wrong! NO NO NO!

I have experienced many times of mental and physical debilitation that limited my ability to be that superwoman. I would be face to face with the fact that I couldn’t do something that I wanted to do, that I used to be able to do; or something I thought I “should” be doing but couldn’t. And every time I unlearned that I was not defined by what I did and instead honored that mourning, cherished myself just as I showed up and faced it all with gentleness, courage and compassion, I gained true strength. 

It takes warrior strength to love ourselves unconditionally and redefine how we look at ourselves. The human journey includes so much schmootz and snot and yuck. We often don’t show up the way we want to or hope to. Sorry, that’s just part of the deal for each and every one of us. And to still share our tremendous gifts every day …to know that we are more than enough to meet the challenges of life…to affirm ourselves as amazing, wonderful beings…that’s superhero stuff!

Today is a good day...and I make it so!

My life is reduced to this moment, watching the corn on the camp stove, waiting for the exact time to turn them…my face turned towards the sun’s warmth as it goes down. Happy birthday to me as we wild camp, with no one else around…no sounds, neither human nor motorized, no dogs barking, no distractions of civilization.

The other day we went for a long walk and sat by a river. I asked Stew if he was present or thinking about… (fill in the blank). We both acknowledged that we needed to work a little harder on being more aware of what our brains were engaged in. Over the past 5 months we have been caretakers and there’s been lots of details that needed our attention. That’s all well and good when that is what is needed but not so good when I’m out in nature and I don’t want my mind to be wrapped up in details, when there is nothing that needs doing except for me to “Be”.

Being in my heart and being present with nature, being still in mind and body so I can get to inner peace, allows me to balance out all that doing. It allows me to nurture myself and recharge. It allows me to focus on what’s important, rather than what seems urgent, which so often happens when I’m in the middle of my life. When I’m out in nature, it’s sad to miss out on all the big and little awe moments of Life sharing Itself with me, which is inevitable when I’m in my head re-thinking past situations. When I’m involved in a conversation, it’s sad to miss out on the heart connection possible and the gem of self the other person might be offering me because my head is imagining future outcomes.

So, what is it that will help you get still, let your thoughts go, become more present? Don’t forget to engage in it often, and you don’t have to wait for your birthday. And furthermore, there is no such thing as being too busy. “Being” comes from residing in our hearts and “busy” is a mind thing.

My brain has a lot to offer me, and there is an appropriate time for me to engage its gifts. But I always find it useful to question whether I am giving it the spotlight and letting it hog the show. I have too much to do in my life, and I bet you do, too.  I want to do it from the place of being that accesses my heart, allowing me to be my best self, allowing me to be fully present and engaged, allowing me to know my highest well-being, no matter how much I have to do and whatever difficult situations I’m in the middle of. I bet you do, too. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

5-4-22 Mother’s Day is upon us. Many of us don’t have children to honor us, some of us didn’t have an appropriate model for mothering growing up, and others no longer have mothers on this earth plane. Regardless, we can all honor and mother ourselves more. To me that means nurturing myself in whatever way is appropriate, sometimes with play and other times with rest. It also means taking the time to appreciate myself unashamedly for all my gifts and for anything I’ve recently learned or unlearned. Mothering myself means being honest yet gentle with myself when I’m in a rough patch, or telling myself uplifting and empowering words when I need them. Giving myself a day of undivided attention and self-care is always beneficial as well.

I invite you to join me right now and every day in mothering yourself more. Really, isn’t it about time to start treating yourself with more kindness, more compassion, and more love?

If you need more motivation, do it for the world…it could use a lot more of that energy. When we mother ourselves in this way it nurtures the whole world.

4-12-22 I am in a weekly HeartMath support circle (we just labeled ourselves the Good Vibe Tribe) and we were discussing anger. One member of the group was saying that, paradoxically, the more she got in touch with her heart the more she was getting in touch with the anger her inner child had experienced. Another of the group was talking about a protest she had participated in that was for peace (in the Ukraine) but, ironically, there was a lot of anger in the air.

The 1st woman didn’t know what to do with her anger and it scared her. Yes, anger is scary because when we are experiencing anger it means we are in our heads and that is a very scary place to hang out. And as long as it remains in our heads and we’re only thinking about it, it’s going to continue to feel overwhelming and destructive and we won’t know what to do with it. Anger means staying stuck in the story we’ve created around whatever “it” is.

I tend to use anger to not look at the real issue and stay stuck in my head creating separation both within myself and externally. My inner-directed anger encloses me in a limiting and negative box in which I become quite capable of saying very negative things to myself. And the story I add on to that is to believe that I’m powerless, horrible and ‘less than’.

Contrary to that, when I direct my anger outward, I feel very powerful and that’s why I often “enjoy” my anger and defend it with righteous indignation. It also means I will easily turn anyone else involved into “them”, giving free rein to what they did or didn’t do, and making them wrong and/or stupid.

Each of us in the group could relate to some time in our lives when we had experienced great anger. And since we are a HeartMath support group, we used our tools to heal those wounds. We each recalled an experience of debilitating anger. Then we got coherent, meaning we got into our hearts so we could bring forth a more renewing, a more regenerative feeling. With an open heart, now we could wrap ourselves up in compassion for all that the anger represented for us. You see, my friends, it’s only when I’m in my heart that I can shine the light of love on my anger and see what lies underneath it - usually sadness and hurt. Those are emotions that I can actually feel, and when I give myself compassion (or acceptance or understanding, etc.), interestingly enough, I am also giving myself what I need and that self-action helps to heal and transform the “anger.” The anger stemmed from my heart being broken, but I couldn’t fix it because I was in my head with it. My heart always has a solution.

The group discovered what Marshall Rosenburg called the “right use” of anger. When I engage with my heart, anger becomes a tool that can work for me. WITH heart it’s about me, identifying my needs and what’s missing for me. With heart come solutions on how to fulfill those needs. There may be external things I can do, or not, but giving myself compassion is a great first step to giving myself what I need. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

4-5-22 Well how interesting our human species is. We now have a war to help us take our minds off of Covid. Yet, overwhelm and heartbreak continue, albeit with a different focus. I have heard many folks sharing how once again they are experiencing overwhelm and hopelessness. Yet, neither of those is our only option. I find that when I dwell in my heart, I am always better equipped and more resilient to handle whatever is going on. Which is good because it seems the “whatevers” are endless.

Overwhelm and hopelessness occur when there is too much information coming at me and my brain has no choice but to take me down its reptilian paths of fight or flight. A heart connection allows me to align with love which brings ease, strength, and peace, even in the midst of tough stuff. When I take action I feel more empowered because I am doing something, and then I usually feel more hopeful, too.

So I share the following two extremely useful actions:

The first is a meditation [go to the end] put out by The HeartMath Institute that people all over the world are joining in for. You might have doubts that one individual doing meditation can make a difference and stop a war but Heartmath has researched the benefits and positive changes that occur when we are in our hearts, not only for us but on a global level. And yes, 1 person makes a difference! The intention for the meditation is on the Ukraine and they have asked folks to join them every day at noon PST, focusing specifically on collective compassion. The more folks that get into their hearts and add to the collective field of energy the greater the positive influence in the world. You will still make a peaceful and powerful impact if you can’t join in at that time and choose a different time to do the following meditation, or even if you choose to do an entirely different meditation. As long as you’re experiencing the feeling of love while you’re doing it, and therefore holding and sending compassion to yourself and others, your energy will join the collective consciousness and make a powerful difference.

The second is a question to ask yourself. Perhaps you believe there is nothing you can do about world violence. I disagree with this and Heartmath Institute, based on the results from its research, would also disagree. As an individual the energy I put out into the world always affects it, and that added to everyone else’s energy is what affects the world and has its own creation energy. So the question to ask ourselves is, “In what ways am I at war with myself?” In other words, I ask you to gently but honestly examine the thoughts of violence you impose on yourself.

For myself, that happens every time I make myself small or less than, or don’t believe in myself, or am unkind to myself (and others) in word or deed or when I ignore my own needs. My list could go on and on…how about yours? By the way, I want to give Stew credit for this question.  I extracted it from one of his podcasts (which is “Stewonthis” if you haven’t checked them out. I may be biased but I think they’re amazing).  

That is why it is so vital, dear friends, that you and I do everything we can right now to learn how to hang out in our hearts more. Okay, that’s is a third thing we can do towards useful action and change but I talk about theat everytime I put something out here in print, don’t I? Today is a good day...and I make it so!

Care Focus Collective Compassion for Ukraine

1.     Start with quiet breathing while radiating feelings of love and care for someone, a pet, nature, etc. This helps open and warm the heart which increases the effectiveness of the Care Focus.

2.     Now, let’s send our deepest care and compassion to people directly affected by the Russia-Ukraine war. This includes the people of Ukraine, soldiers and refugees, many people in Russia who are saddened with pain in their hearts regarding the invasion, and many others throughout the planet.

3.     Next, send compassion and gratitude to the people and countries taking in millions of refugees. Send heart that those who support this war might open their hearts to the pain the war is causing and realize the setback it is inflicting on nations, much less the world community.

4.     Now, see our deep heart’s care contributing to a global heart awakening of collective compassion that’s on the rise as a result of this war.

5.     Let’s close by envisioning that humanity will realize that war is a thing of the past and that we need to come together in the heart to work things out. 

Adapted with permission. Originally published by the HeartMath Institute for the Global Coherence Initiative Care Focus

2-14-22 It’s now been 3 weeks since we said good-bye to Brenna, a beloved 4-legged member of our family. Stew’s mom seems to be declining rapidly and might not be with us for too much longer, although she actually withdrew from life quite a while ago, so it feels like in many ways we have lost her already. I had a long conversation yesterday with a dear friend whose husband has dementia and she’s had to constantly make adjustments as she keeps losing pieces of him. Life is so darn precious! I will continue to do everything I can to not take it for granted so I can stay present with it’s joys, it’s gifts, and to the love and support all around me - so much can be gone in an instant.

I wrote the following and thought it was worthy of a share, or at least allowing me completion with my grief and saying good-bye to Brenna.

I asked, “What has Brenna taught me?” And this is some of what I came up with:

---To always engage in a perfect balance between being and doing…to put all my energy and passion behind everything I do and enjoy it to the max, and when it’s down time to let myself accept that and absolutely relax into it

---Don’t get stale…keep learning and trying out new ways…just because I’ve done something my whole life doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. There’s no reason to be bored…give myself over to life wholeheartedly…there’s always a fun way to engage and have fun, even when no one else is around

---When something is happening I’m not crazy about, if I go with the flow I get to the fun part a whole lot quicker

---Remember everyone is doing the best they can…there’s only grudges to hold when I choose to hold them. It feels much better to cuddle and be cuddled...to love and let myself be loved

---and finally, just because I’m alpha, doesn’t mean that I know everything

1-21-22 This story is dedicated to my beloved Brenna who never needed to be reminded of any of the following.

I’ve been with quite a few folks lately who shared they were thinking they’re not enough. The conversations all ran in the same direction, “If I had only done _____ then I could have fixed my _____(child’s, spouse’s, friend’s, etc,)  problem or _______ wouldn’t have happened. Sound familiar? Do you ever play that game with yourself? For me lately, friendships have been strained by Covid and for other reasons. My heart understands things are tough for everyone these days, but my mind still jumps right to my childhood and the pain of being left behind by my friends. I ached then with thoughts like, “why don’t they like me? What did I do wrong?” which translates into my present-day adult self sometimes thinking I’m not enough. Sadly, my childhood self didn’t have the tools to figure out how to work out the sometimes complicated, messy, and sticky stuff that can be involved in relationships. All I could do was feel bad and blame it all on myself. Perhaps this is all true for you as well.

Happily, my adult self has learned that I am more than enough! I also know that I have a habit of making what happens mean something that isn’t necessarily true and usually has nothing to do with me. (I am a big advocate of taking responsibility for my part in things, so that last statement involves a lot of self-inquiry to ascertain, but that’s a different story, one I’m sure I’ve written about here before). I am also quite capable now of wrapping my big-girl-self arms around myself and enfolding that little girl that still lives within me. I can then tell myself all the things no one else told me when I was younger that can help me heal in the present. The trick – and this is big – is that as I tell myself how wonderful I am, despite what I couldn’t fix or do, despite whatever happened, I also must be willing to listen. And believe it.

We all have many broken pieces of self within us. But the good news is that when we reside in our heart, our place of truest strength and wisdom, we have the ability to heal and re-create our present story, and therefore change our perceptions of our past and our future to see things, and ourself, from a more empowered place.

I know that New Years was 22 days ago but you can still make an intention to stand in your bigness in more of your 2022 moments. And don’t stop there - I make that intention daily, and in fact, I have to re-make the intention constantly throughout my day because I forget. I have a saying that it’s OK to forget…as long as I remember. And I will continue to make the intention for my bigness with each new year for the rest of my life.

1-7-22 [Because you’re part of my circle, or support group, I’m asking you to take a moment and read the following. If it doesn’t resonate with you personally, would you please help me with my mission and share this information with everyone you feel might benefit? And if you feel right about doing that, would you also please preface it and let them know you know me and that I’m sincere and trustworthy (cuz it all might seem a little weird, especially the love offering part?)

A 4 week session offered on a Love Offering basis to BOOST RESILIENCE, COMPOSURE AND CLARITY!

As you might know, I have been using HeartMath (HM) tools for over 10 years in my personal and professional life. For those of you who aren’t familiar with HM, it is a system of research-based, coherence-building skills designed to use on-the-go that helps us bring our physical, mental and emotional systems into balance and connect with our heart’s intuitive guidance.

I recently became certified as a HM Building Personal Resilience Mentor. To do that, I had to dive deeply into the program and thank goodness because I truly believe it helped me through one of the toughest periods of my life. We have all lived through one of the most overwhelmingly stressful periods in history, due to Covid. For me, on top of that, since August I dealt with evacuation from my home for 3 weeks due to fire, as well as my mother-in-law’s, and my dog’s, increasing care needs. You, no doubt, have your own stressors. With HM I was able to stay grounded in my heart, accessing my inner strength and well-being. It also helped me to keep my emotions from overwhelming me so I could find my best solutions. Most of all, HM helped me to regain my peace of mind…over and over again.

Are you interested in more tools to connect you with your heart’s strength and wisdom? If so, learning and applying HM tools can help you:

---have more resilience to overcome stress and overwhelm

---feel more at ease and peaceful                                                              

---fill and maintain your inner energy reservoir

---have more resilience

---become more aware of what energizes you and what depletes your energy

---connect to your creativity and access your best solutions…

I am more passionate than ever about sharing these tools. I am therefore   offering one-on-one mentoring on a Love Offering basis, the way I offered my gifts for over 20 years (which means you get to decide to compassionately gift me back – or not - based on value received and/or personal finances). We would meet, ideally, 1 hour/week over 4-6 weeks, in person or zoom.

This is my way of saying thank you in gratitude for my life. It’s my way of helping to create the kind of world I want to live in. This is how I’ve lived my life…giving myself away.

You matter…you deserve to live a heart-led life, thriving and being able to enjoy life more fully! Email bittmanbliss@att.net or text 530-318-2374 (out of North America add +1)

In peace, Hillary Bittman

1-21-22 This story is dedicated to my beloved Brenna who we released 2 days ago and who never needed to be reminded of any of the following.

I’ve been with quite a few folks lately who shared they were thinking they’re not enough. The conversations all ran in the same direction, “If I had only done ______ then I could have fixed my ______(child’s, spouse’s, friend’s, etc,) problem or _______ wouldn’t have happened. Sound familiar? Do you ever play that game with yourself? For me lately, friendships have been strained by Covid and for other reasons. My heart understands things are tough for everyone these days, but my mind still jumps right to my childhood and the pain of being left behind by my friends. I ached then with thoughts like, “why don’t they like me? What did I do wrong?” which translates into my present-day adult self sometimes thinking I’m not enough. Sadly, my childhood self didn’t have the tools to figure out how to work out the sometimes complicated, messy, and sticky stuff that can be involved in relationships. All I could do was feel bad and blame it all on myself. Perhaps this is all true for you as well.

Happily, my adult self has learned that I am more than enough! I also know that I have a habit of making what happens mean something that isn’t necessarily true and usually has nothing to do with me. (I am a big advocate of taking responsibility for my part in things, so that last statement involves a lot of self-inquiry to ascertain, but that’s a different story, one I’m sure I’ve written about here before). I am also quite capable now of wrapping my big-girl-self arms around myself and enfolding that little girl that still lives within me. I can then tell myself all the things no one else told me when I was younger that can help me heal in the present. The trick – and this is big – is that as I tell myself how wonderful I am, despite what I couldn’t fix or do, despite whatever happened, I also must be willing to listen. And believe it.

We all have many broken pieces of self within us. But the good news is that when we reside in our heart, our place of truest strength and wisdom, we have the ability to heal and re-create our present story, and therefore change our perceptions of our past and our future to see things, and ourself, from a more empowered place.

I know that New Years was 26 days ago but you can still make an intention to stand in your bigness in more of your 2022 moments. And don’t stop there - I make that intention daily, and in fact, I have to re-make the intention constantly throughout my day because I forget. I have a saying that it’s OK to forget…as long as I remember. And I will continue to make the intention for my bigness with each new year for the rest of my life. Today is a good day...and I make it so!

12-31-21 Sitting in my living room, looking at the snow, I have the feeling I am living in the center of a snow globe. One of the many reasons I love calling Tahoe home. The snow helps awaken my inner child. And even now, when I’m too tired from the recent endless shoveling to go out and play at the activities that bring me such pleasure, the memory of them alive in my heart and mind fill me with a warm glow. My wish is that you have your own cherished memories and present-day activities that nurture you and fill your heart and mind when things seem difficult.

Some cherished memories from 2021:

---heart-opening Joy activities of winter: sledding, cross-country skiing, and building snow people; in spring/summer: hundreds of miles of hiking, on both old favorite trails and new discoveries, baptizing myself in Tahoe’s freezing cold lakes and rivers, communing with my dearest flower friends; autumn: watching aspen leaves quake in the wind or twirl down to the ground after I’ve tossed them into the air

---deepening my connection to the Warrior tribe - ya’all know who you are - and I am so grateful for each and every one of you, shining your light so brightly!

--- making so many new friends during my HeartMath training and discovering it’s easy to go deep, be vulnerable and find compassion when people are willing to reside in and connect from their heart  

---Brenna, our 11-year-old Lab, making a “comeback” twice since our August fire evacuation, and now she’s frolicking like a pup through the many high feet of snow we have

---spending so much time with my beloved Stew and growing our intimacy. Having Ari, my other beloved, joining us so often for long stays through the year

 Happy New Year to all. Whatever 2022 brings, it’s for certain we’ll have a better year if we love and appreciate ourselves more, accept ourselves more, no matter what. May we savor every moment, celebrating ourselves and our human journey, holding our joys and our sorrows as precious…nurturing ourselves in gentleness and strength…being willing to know ourselves unreservedly and unashamedly as our own Beloved…learning how to give ourselves away, bigger, better, in a way that honors and respects all - including ourselves, especially ourselves.

Today is a good day...and I make it so!